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Pitch It to Me #2 ! All genres welcome!

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  • Pitch It to Me #2 ! All genres welcome!

    Hey guys!




    For starters, for those of you who don't know me- hi! I'm Orona, a budding filmmaker and lawyer in the making. In the past I've taught drama and film in high school, and I am very passionate about literature. I was once very active on the forums but took a break from it- and now I'm back! And... I'm here to help you with your pitches! All genres are welcomed here on this thread!




    I used to have a thread here on the forums for reviewing pitches and stories, however one of them got closed (I have no idea why... maybe cause it was inactive? Welp, I'm sorry guys. I had exams at the time and felt the need to take a break from reviews). Hence, I decided to start a new one! Sadly though, I won't be doing story reviews, because mine are excessively detailed and I am in university now and I used to to do those reviews during my IB days, therefore, I have no time for them. But I can still help out with pitches.










    Before we get to it, there are some ground rules/information which needs to be laid down (after I’m done with my exams I shall add some more):




    1) Make sure your pitch is more than *at least* 8-9 sentences long. I am asking for a detailed pitch, and not a one-liner where you ask me to tell you whether it interested me or not. I want to know your idea, give my opinion, and help you develop it if you need the help.




    2) I am an extremely nice person (well, I think so at least), so don’t worry! I will, absolutely not, tear down your pitches if I feel they aren’t good enough. I know how it feels to be criticized, and while I can assure you that I will not act rude or condescending when giving you my opinion, I have to be able to tell you the truth regarding what I feel about the pitch. So don’t, in any way, feel like I am trying to offend you. That is not my intention at all. I just want to help you guys to create stories that come across as intriguing to your audience through small tweaks here and there (that is, if they need any).




    3)If you’ve understood the rules, when applying for a review make sure you write the password, which is: Bughead.



    Please use this form:

    Password:
    Tentative Story Name: _______/(N/A if you don't have one yet)
    Story pitch:


    I will rate stories based on these criteria:
    TBA as of now. This will be filled in later after requests start rolling in.


    Looking forward to some awesome story ideas!


    -Orona

  • #2
    Funny how we keep crossing paths! = )

    Password: Bughead
    Tentative Story Name: Wonderland 1984
    Story pitch: Set in 1984 in Los Angeles. The Wonderland theme park is the main attraction in the Echo Park neighborhood in Central Los Angeles. Everything seems to be just another night for the amusement park until an onslaught of zombies begin to emerge after a person who enters the park, Corey, carries an mysterious virus with him that turns humans into bloodthirsty killer and eventually begins to infect those around him with the disease. The theme park becomes a place of chaos after people begin killing and biting each other. Four teens (Stacy, Jason, Floyd, Ed) band together to combat the onslaught of zombies and find a way out of the theme park. Meanwhile the feds, military, and CDC intervene and block off the perimeter of the theme park to prevent anyone from getting in or out while also making sure the incident doesn't make global wide news.


    I don't know if the description is long enough... but that really sums up it all up, lol.Tell me what you think of it. Let me know what you think of it, and let me know if I should add anything to it.




    Also did a cover art because I was bored. What do you think of it?
    Last edited by Five Star Equilibrium; 12-23-2017, 12:19 PM.

    Comment


    • OronaR
      OronaR commented
      Editing a comment
      Haha, accepted! Yes, it’s long enough. Expect a review in a 1 or 2 days time.

    • OronaR
      OronaR commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey again! Sorry for being EXTREMELY late but I was dealing with some personal stuff.

      I read this a couple of times and I really like the idea! It has potential to be dynamic in its entirety and it looks like you can do a lot with it, in the sense of plot development, character development, and the like. By looking at the cover, I can sense that the four MCs are definitely very different from each other- use that to your full advantage. I LOVE the fact that this takes place in the 80s, because if you didn't tell me that I would tell you to set it at that time anyway- so good job! I like the Walking Dead/Stranger Things vibes I'm getting here. Like character development, make sure to use the 1980s setting to your advantage as well. Think of what the MCs would wear, talk like, use what slang, what references (in the case of the 80s, pop references are highly recommended) etc. , and this will help readers get the feel- and I'm sure you are very capable of mastering this. Let me know when it's out! I don't have much to ask as everything is pretty clear cut, but these are just tips.

      And the cover art strongly insinuates the story's elements, I find it aesthetically pleasing, it's a green light for me.

      -Orona

  • #3
    Password: Bughead
    Tentative Story Name: Crossroads
    Story pitch:
    Emma is dealing with the demons of her past that have scarred her soul. Still, she's a hopeless romantic, believing that there's someone out there who she's meant to be. After she developed a crush on her high school best friend, she goes for it and got friend zoned. The embarrassment and sadness makes her embrace some of her demons. She starts to make rebellious changes that almost made her lose everything, but with help of her family and best friends she'll find the way to get in the right track.

    After a long time and without looking for it, she finds someone, someone who makes her feel pretty and embrace her weirdness, but, what would happen when her long time high school crush comes back in the picture and she starts to notice his attentions and flirts. What are his true intentions? Will Emma's skeletons let her to be fully happy or her insecurities will ruin everything that she wanted? In which way should Emma go?

    Hi! This is my first attempt to do an Episode Story, but I'm very excited, I really would love if you can tell me your toughts on the general idea for this story.

    Comment


    • OronaR
      OronaR commented
      Editing a comment
      Accepted! You’ll receive a review soon.

  • #4
    NAME:SHAMELESS
    Style... LIME LIGHT
    description Dia is a stripper Isaac is a business man they enter a very complicated relationship.
    Chapters... 6 ongoing
    customize character
    http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6209978671169536
    pls share and read.

    Comment

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