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SHARE YOUR STORIES WITH ME! πŸ“š feedback available

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  • SHARE YOUR STORIES WITH ME! πŸ“š feedback available

    header.png
    can i balance a review thread, a cover art thread, an rp, homework, and a social life? probably not, but it's okay.

    anyways! hello hello, i'm losersam and i'm a floating presence on the forums :^) i just bought the unlimited passes but i now realize i have no stories to read - i don't want to have wasted $10, so i'd love to see some of your guys' stories! if you would like feedback, i am willing to give it. i don't have a story of my own, so i'm not going to ask anything - you can get reads without having to lift a finger in exchange. i hope that this will be a place to develop your writing skills, find some great hidden gems, and maybe even get an idea or two from fellow writers as well, if you see a story that sounds interesting, don't hesitate to try it!

    story title:
    author name:
    genre(s):
    story link:
    episodes:
    description:
    would you like feedback? (yes/no):


    i can't give you super detailed feedback, but i can give some honest feedback that hopefully will help you improve as an author. my feedback will be as follows: forgive me if i don't know what i'm doing i should be going to bed early like i never do but come on

    story title: (is the story title captivating/does it make me want to read more? + rating/10)
    description: (is the story description captivating/does it make me want to read more? + rating/10)
    grammar: (review of spelling, punctuation, etc. + rating/10)
    spot directing: (are there any big errors in the spot directing? does the spot directing flow well? + rating/10)
    plot (based off of first 3 episodes): (how do you develop the story in the first three episodes? is the pace of the story moving well? etc. + rating/10)
    additional feedback: (anything else i'd like to say + maybe some extra points)

    overall rating (x/50):

    and that's about it! can't wait to see your stories~
    Last edited by losersam; 02-01-2017, 05:11 PM.

  • #2
    Don't mind me... Just casually dropping my story in here... But on a serious note, I'd appreciate it if you could check out my story.

    Title: Cupid's Arrow: L0vIng y0u 4eVer
    Author: TheOlyims
    Genre: Romance/Mystery/Fantasy
    Description: Lyla is a professional hacker. But she's being stalked... Will you solve the mystery? Or meet a tragic end...
    Style: Ink
    Chapters: 3 (Ongoing)
    Features: Different routes, different endings, partly customizable, unlockable bonus scene
    Social Media: (Instagram) episode_theolyims
    Feedback: Sure, I can't think of a reason to say no.

    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5099035335852032

    Thanks! Hope to hear back from you soon.

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: i think the title is super cool! i definitely like how it relates to the element of hacking in your story and alludes to the backstory. (10/10)

      description: you gave me a description separate from the one i saw on the app, so i'll rate for both of the descriptions and find the mean. the one you gave me here i like better, because it's more specific in what i should expect from the story. the one on the app is a bit vague and doesn't include what i think was one of the key elements - her hacking - but still makes me want to solve the mystery. (7/10)

      grammar: your grammar was great! i didn't spot any big errors - just a few typos here and there - but everything else was spot on. (9/10)

      spot directing: your spot directing wasn't super simple, which i definitely appreciate! you included some more complex things that i think really would grab a reader's attention - i.e. the flashing during the backstory. the actions flow well with what the characters said, and nothing seemed too out of place. (10/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): the story develops well from the description given in a short span of time, and your episodes are pretty long as well. the pace i think seems a little rushed, like it moves swiftly from new mission -> backstory -> end of third episode, but i think that the drama that goes down with the plot makes up for it. i think the part where mr. adams first reveals himself to lyla has the feelings developed too quickly, though i understand/am guessing that it's part of their history with each other. (7/10)

      additional feedback: your choices were great!! the username/password system is cool, as well as the system for looking around mr. adam's house. i seriously loved that - it made me feel like i was a part of the story. i admit, i forgot about the fantasy genre, so i was a bit thrown of with the mystical element, but it's my fault for not reading thoroughly hahaha (+2 points)

      overall rating (x/50): 45/50

    • TheOlims
      TheOlims commented
      Editing a comment
      losersam Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it. To answer your query about that different descriptions, I basically wrote a new one (forum description) and replaced it with the old one in the story. I just haven't updated it yet but it doesn't change the fact that I appreciate your feedback! Again, thanks so much for your review.

  • #3
    Just published my story check it out! It's called : Cupid's Arrow: The destiny of a maid and a billionaire

    story plot: You work as a maid to earn money for education, ever since dad died, your family can't afford school for you and your sister. You find out that you work in your crush's house, Your mother told you not to date boys and no one knows why, Will cupid bring you together?
    Episodes: 3 (so far)
    Genre: Romance
    Story Features: Create your own characters.
    Author name: Juana
    Link:
    http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6144747705204736


    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      hi! thanks for posting your story here; i hope it will help you out a little. i've started reading your story, but you didn't specify whether you wanted feedback or not - if yes, lmk and i'll write up a review

    • kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
      Editing a comment
      That would b great for a review, Thank u!

  • #4
    Hey there!! I hope you can give my story a feedback. It would really mean a lot to me. I hope you have fun reading it!! And thank you for doing this!!

    Title: When in Atlanta

    Author: N.M. Ayag

    Genre: Romance/Drama

    Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5547587013967872

    Style: Ink

    Episodes: 12 (And on going..)

    Description: Hanna finds her way in Atlanta after getting her heartbroken. Finally chasing for her dreams to come true.- She finds her favorite TV Character who turns out to be the most down-to-earth celebrity in the world and is willing to help any person in need because he was raised that way. Experience love, drama, and a life-changing event as you go along.


    Would you like feedback? (yes/no): Yes

    Comment


    • nmayag
      nmayag commented
      Editing a comment
      losersam I actually got the name Steve from Steven Yeun so, I would say, yes! I am in love with TWD and Glenn so.. but his personality is based off someone else You are actually the first person to ask me that. I feel so happy!

    • Ruby L. Lee
      Ruby L. Lee commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi nmayag I just happen to browse through and saw your comment and I want to say I like Glenn in TWD too! But after knowing his character is being taken out, I'm too sad to continue watching. So I'm stuck at Season 5 and still not in the mood to watch 6.

      Anyway, your story sounds cool! I will check it out. If you have time to spare, do check out mine! Mine is called In Love with the Whisperer, details are somewhere below. Actually one of my main characters is named after Daryl in TWD too. But I gave it a double R. haha!! Have a great day!

    • nmayag
      nmayag commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, ruby L. Lee! Yayy for TWD. I honestly haven't even watched the latest season. Just the first episode and when Glenn died, I was like.. "that's it I'm done" and I've been hurting ever since! Lol. That's so cool that one of the MCs are named after Daryl! Not to advertise here but I actually have a read for read thread too! I'll DM you the link

  • #5
    Hi! Thank you so much for doing this! i really need feedback on my new story. i just started writing on episode. i absolutely love writing the script, but i couldn't make a great plot. so i hope you could give me some feedback. I don't mind honest and harsh feedback though, as it helps me improve on writing. i take suggestions as well!

    story title: The Password
    author name: yk
    genre(s): Mystery, Romance, Drama
    story link:
    http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6504207212609536
    episodes: 3 ( still on going!)
    description: Josie Barnes and her friends met one another at a locked class after the earthquake at their first day of school. the box belongs to a mysterious girl named Vienna who went into a coma after the earthquake. yet the box is filled with mysteries.
    would you like feedback? (yes/no): absolutely yes!

    thank you so much! love x

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: the title draws me in - i want to know more about what the password is and how it ties into the story. gives me an aura of mystique. (10/10)

      description: i'll use the description you had in-app. . i definitely want to know the purpose of the box. overall, the description is compelling, but still could be a little bit more specific (thought with the word limit, it's understandable). (8/10)

      grammar: your grammar was pretty good. i sometimes see uncapitalized letters at the beginning of sentences, but one reoccuring thing i saw was uncapitalization of the word "i" (i'm doing that too, but that's just how i type casually ), mostly in episode 1. otherwise it's pretty clear - your punctuation and spelling are great. (7/10)

      spot directing: first of all, i LOVED the shaking/zooming during the earthquake - can't imagine how long that must have taken to code. that scene seriously piqued my interest. otherwise, you have a pretty good grasp on spot directing and actions flow well with character speech. sometimes there are some awkward-ish pauses that feel a little out of place. (8/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): right away in the first episode the earthquake happens, so it's great that you don't wait long to get to the main point. your story transitions well from earthquake -> introduction, though the timeline of events is a little unclear - i don't really know how much time has passed after the earthquake up until the point where they get rescued in ep. 2. (9/10)

      additional feedback: i don't know if i have anything else to say...i live in earthquake county? lol that did make the story more meaningful to me in a way, seeing something that could easily happen to me. (also, i don't know if your pfp is you but you're super pretty!)

      overall rating (x/50): 42/50

    • yosianekartika
      yosianekartika commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for the amazing review!!
      I do like spot directing though! So i don't mind if i spend like a day to direct that.
      I will definitely fix the uncapitalized I's for sure. ( English is not my first language so i apologize)

      OMG where do you live? the only earthquake country i know is Japan. haha
      and yes, that's me on the pfp. i used that picture for The Password's cover though, i just cartoonized it

      Again thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me!
      I hope you will continue reading it when i posted a new episode ahahha

      Much Love,
      Anne

  • #6
    Hi, I've just started any any honest feedback I could get would be much appreciated

    story title: Framed
    author name: K. Bailey
    genre(s): Romance/Mystery
    story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6636391441367040
    episodes: 4 and counting
    description: You're framed for a murder you didn't commit. Can you work together with a hot guy from the wrong side of town to prove your innocence? *Customize Characters*
    would you like feedback? (yes/no): yes please!

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: simple but sweet, and it gets straight to the point. instantly i know it's a mystery of some sort (and i love mysteries!!). (10/10)

      description: i've read books before about being framed, so i was admittedly excited when i saw that. working with someone to prove your innocence, a hot guy no less, was compelling as well. lol (9/10)

      grammar: your grammar was pretty good. there weren't any reoccuring mistakes, but a few typos here and there. one of the bigger mistakes i caught was not putting periods at the end of dialogue, but again, that didn't happen super often. (8/10)

      spot directing: your spot directing flows well with the rest of your story, and your actions flow alright. there aren't big mistakes that affect the plot, but your spot directing overall is very simple. i'd like to see you develop with more complex spot directing, because your story is very intense and it would make it...well, even more intense (7/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): i feel as though the plot is a bit too rushed. it's good that the basis of the story develops right off the bat, but the framing and the events that follow up until the escape to gang territory happens so fast that i'm not provided a good understanding. as well, the framing and outrunning the police is a bit unrealistic (i.e. when mc meets ryan again, it seems as though he's the only officer on the scene, and they are able to get away easily). obviously i don't think you'd have experience outrunning the law, but maybe look a bit more into framing incidents, crime, etc. (6/10)

      additional feedback: character customization! not only did you have customization for the mc, but also the love interests. you do have some significant choices as well. +2

      overall rating (x/50): 42/50

    • kbailey
      kbailey commented
      Editing a comment
      @losersam
      Thanks for taking the time to provide feedback! I'll definitely be taking some of these comments on board

  • #7
    I feel your struggle. Here's my story:

    Title: Cupid's Arrow Corporation
    Author: Charlotte G.
    Genre(s): Romance / Comedy (and a little drama)
    Story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6348497659101184
    Episodes: 3 (on going)
    Description: Working for Cupid's Arrow Corporation, Chance has dedicated his life to helping people find love. On his newest mission, his job is to make YOU fall in love.
    Would I like feedback?: Yes!

    Thank you!

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: i'm quite fond of this title! certainly makes me want to read more, and fits the plot well. it's cool how you incorporated Cupid's Arrow into your title instead of just doing cupid's arrow at the beginning. (10/10)

      description: i am in love with this description, right down to the warning at the end. it gives it this light-hearted, amusing feel - makes it feel like an ad. the in-app description doesn't clarify if i'm going to work for the corporation or be a customer of the corporation, though. (9/10)

      grammar: your grammar is great. i only spotted a couple of typos throughout the whole story, i believe, and everything else wasn't a problem. (9/10)

      spot directing: your spot directing is complex without being overbearing, and more complicated scenes fit the predicament. (i especially loved when chance made the dive for the arrow!!) (10/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): the story moves well - it starts out a little slow, but i understand that it's mostly to introduce everything. characters develop consistently, and you play feelings into the plot instead of leaving them there after an episode. (8/10)

      additional feedback: i love the humor you incorporate! (+1)

      overall rating (x/50): 47/50

    • charlotteg
      charlotteg commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much!

  • #8
    Hey..Its my first story and I would love to have a feedback.
    Title: You and I
    Genre: Romance
    Author: maddyrox
    Episodes: 7 (complete)
    Description: A princess or a commoner? The choice is her's...but does this mean choosing between the prince and the love of her life? Secrets, betrayals and heartbreaks await Caroline...will she find true love?
    ​​Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6210262624632832
    Feedback: definitely yes
    Pls do read it

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: the story title is a bit basic, but it's still interesting. makes me want to know more about who this "you" is. would have liked to have seen something a little more distinctive. (7/10)

      description: i wasn't expecting royalty to play into this, but i have read other royalty stories so i was interested because it seems like a feud between two worlds: the rich and powerful vs. a normal world. (10/10)

      grammar: your grammar is alright. you don't seem to have many problems with spelling, but some punctuation is off (the more common ones i see are a few wrong instances of words like its/it's and no punctuation marks in words like let's/don't, but more prominently, missing periods at the end of dialogue. ) (7/10)

      spot directing: spot directing flows well, but is a little basic. especially with many intense scenes (i.e. zack/caroline's feud in the first chapter) more complex spot directing would help engage the readers more. (7/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): the beginning makes me interested with all the mystery...who is "him", and why does Caroline regard him so sadly? obviously the question is soon answered, but even then we don't know all the details, so it's good that you're building up a bit of suspense early. episodes seem pretty long, and you identify potential love interests early. plot flows pretty well overall. (9/10)

      additional feedback: you've developed the backstory of Caroline's family well, which i appreciate~ (+1)

      overall rating (x/50): 41/50

    • maddy rox
      maddy rox commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks a lot for your feedback

  • #9
    Please read and give feedback thanks.

    story title: In My Place
    author name: Cece Rose
    genre(s): Romance
    story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5301755891154944
    episodes: 7( still on going!)
    description: They were best friends since they were toddlers...he moved away and they drifted apart. What will happen on his return?


    story title: I met a boy
    author name: Cece Rose
    genre(s): Romance
    story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6584513620082688
    episodes: 9 ( still on going!)
    description: They have been through so many trials and have still stuck together. Will they make it? Will he finally propose to her?

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      IN MY PLACE REVIEW (did you want me to do your second story as well? i wasn't sure, so i'm just going to do the first one for now.)

      story title: the story title kind of gives me insight into how i might feel, well, in the mc's place. don't see a big connection to the plot, but it is unique enough that it would stand out. (9/10)

      description: i don't read romance often outside of episode, but the description definitely sounds like a coming-of-age story with a conventional old friend -> romance plotline. i want to know how their relationship has changed since then as well. (9/10)

      grammar: your grammar is satisfactory. i'm seeing a few reoccurring instances of putting periods where there should be question marks and exclamantion marks, which makes everything sound like a statement. otherwise, a few typos here and there. (7/10)

      spot directing: spot directing isn't too simple, but not too complex either. you have some appropriate zooms and i especially love the narrator switching with specification about who's thinking/saying what. one thing i notice is that you don't change actions with dialogue (i.e. mc uses one action and then keeps talking, but the character isn't moving). (8/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): it's great that mc meets her old love interest right away, but i think it moves too fast between meeting up again -> confession/kissing. i would have liked to see development in how mc feels instead of moving into it so quickly. otherwise, plot events flow well. (7/10)

      additional feedback: nothing else to say that i can think of

      overall rating (x/50): 40/50
      Last edited by losersam; 02-04-2017, 03:28 PM.

  • #10
    I would like some feedback on my first story.

    Title: Who killed Emily?

    Author: Madeline

    Genre: Mystery

    Style: Ink

    Episodes: I'm aiming to do 15 episodes, so far I have 5 episodes out.

    Description: Two best friend detectives celebrate a job well done, when suddenly their celebration is cut short, because they have to reopen the case!

    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5246365472129024

    Instagram: You can find me on Instagram @thetalk_maddie

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: who *did* kill emily? providing a question in your title is a great way to get readers interested - i like it (10/10)

      description: using in-app description. the phone call eludes to something mysterious/important, and you don't specify what, which is intriguing. the description seems a little vague, but we still know enough for the plot so i wouldn't say it's a big deal. (9/10)

      grammar: your grammar is good. i'm not spotting major/reoccuring mistakes, except for a few instances of missing periods or commas. i notice that you tend to use a lot of exclamation marks, which makes dialogue have too much of a happy tone - that threw me off, because things sounded kind of forced throughout the story. otherwise, you don't have many problems with spelling, capitalization, etc. (7/10)

      spot directing: your spot directing has more complex instances, but some awkward pauses (i.e. first episode, when characters were getting out of the car at mr. sap's house). i notice that some dialogue uses non-speaking actions when characters are talking, which disrupts the flow a little. (7/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): the story moves well from the first episode on, because we get the phone call right away and it leads on without being too rushed. the plot thickens and the mystery develops without rushing it too hard, though we aren't given too much background info on the case right away. (8/10)

      additional feedback: character customization and lgbt mc! (+2)

      overall rating (x/50): 43/50

    • lovelymaddie
      lovelymaddie commented
      Editing a comment
      losersam

      Thank you so much for the detailed review

  • #11
    Hi @losersam

    I will love it if you could check out my first story.The few episodes might be a little short and boring, but drama will slowly kick in from episode 4 onward. So please give the story a chance and read at least the first few episodes. :P



    Title: In Love with the Whisperer
    Author: Ruby L. Lee
    Genre: Fantasy/Romance

    No. of Episode: 10 (ongoing)
    Style: Ink
    Story Description:
    Lara Raines is the Whisperer. But will her unique ability help or hinder her in finding true love? Are things as simple as they seem or are there more than meet the eyes? Meet lots of animals along the way, some are cute, the others, maybe not so much. keke.
    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4996247862902784
    Instagram: @rubyllee.episode
    Would you like feedback: Yes please if you have the time

    Thank you so much! Have a great day!

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: your story title is cool~ without reading the description, i want to know what the whisperer is - though i can tell it has something to do with fantasy. (10/10)

      description: your description isn't too vague overall, which i appreciate. the first sentence makes me want to know what the Whisperer is as well, though you don't really give us any insight into what the Whisperer is. i suppose that it could add to the mystery of the plot, though (9/10)

      grammar: your grammar is good. i notice that sometimes you miss words or plurals of words. you put in a lot of exclamation marks, which makes dialogue/thoug seem a little forced, so i would like to see a little more neutral dialogue. otherwise, you use good vocabulary without making it seem out of place, and you don't have problems with spelling or capitalization. (7/10)

      spot directing: you've mastered the basics of spot directing along with a few more complex things, though you can branch out a little bit more. i'm not seeing any big mistakes that affect the flow of the story, and actions flow well with dialogue. one thing i did notice was that in chapter 2, when you show Lara as a child and she goes to hug her parents, she gets bigger. it wasn't a big mistake, but threw me off a little bit. (8/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): we don't get to know much about lara's powers in the first episode, though i guess readers can make good inferences (and you give us a detailed backstory in episode two anyway) she does meet her love interest right away, which is good, and you reveal that she is a bit skeptical about relationships, which adds in a little depth to her character. (9/10)

      additional feedback: i love your custom backgrounds! they enhance the feel of the story overall and keep me in touch with Lara's power. (+1)

      overall rating (x/50): 44/50

    • Ruby L. Lee
      Ruby L. Lee commented
      Editing a comment
      losersam , thank you so so much for the detailed review and for giving me such a high rating! I really appreciate your time in going so in-depth with your review, it definitely helps me a lot.

      Thank you for pointing out my mistakes and errors. I think unknowingly, I did put a lot of exclamation marks in their dialogues, I will make sure to take note of this from now on. And yes for the spot directing, I didn't know how to make young Lara walks across the screen as the small version that time. This is my first story so I am learning along the way. But now I think I know it and will certainly correct that part. :P

      I do know my first episodes are a little slow and lack of drama. From episode 5 onward, things will get more interesting and animals will also start appearing. So I really hope you can perhaps stay on reading with me for this story (if you have time), as I am now getting slightly better in spot directing, I hope to share with you my better episodes.

      Thank you for generously giving all of us constructive feedback without asking for return. Really appreciate that!

  • #12
    Just published my very first story and would LOVE to get a feedback (I can handle critics, at least I think so :P)

    story title: Just How you Want Me
    author name: Miss K.
    genre(s): romance, teen
    story link:
    http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6277911973986304
    episodes: 5 (for now, ongoing)
    description:
    2 boy. 1 very nerdy girl. 2 extremely different worlds. Will she stay true to herself or will she give in?
    would you like feedback? (yes/no): if you could yes, I'd love to read whatcha think about it.


    I hope it's a good read for people into teen movies (such as "mean girls", "clueless" etc etc)
    Thanks a lot for doing this, have a fantastic day and hopefully read you soon

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      story title: i admit, i don't read a lot of romance so i wasn't quite sure about this title, but it works with the genre and is pretty distinct. in-app, the title only has the first word capitalized - i suggest capitalizing it~ (9/10)

      description: the description seems a little cliche, like it wouldn't stand out. i think the last sentence does well, but i think maybe changing up the front part to make it more unique could attract more readers in the long run. (8/10)

      grammar: your grammar is pretty good. you don't have problems with spelling or capitalization. two problems i see sometimes are missing periods at the end of sentences and some missing commas, but they don't happen every single time. (7/10)

      spot directing: spot directing is somewhat basic - i'm not seeing a lot of complex directing that could bring the story to life. actions flow pretty well with dialogue (i do see some instances where the character uses non-dialogue actions to speak, however). would definitely like to see you use some more complex directing (8/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): we meet both love interests early on, and the first episode provides a great look into how bianca's life is. there are major plot events that change the course of the story, and everything overall flows well. episodes are a little short, but you pack enough material into them and show us more of the characters so i wouldn't say it's a big problem. (9/10)

      additional feedback: you stay true to your teen movie description - the story has witty remarks and mean girls-esque characters. (+1)

      overall rating (x/50): 42/50

  • #13
    Hello All,

    I started reading episodes interactive stories about a year ago and became hooked (my guilty pleasure lol). About 6 months in my then 9 (now 10) year old daughter suggested I draft a story. I wanted a story that would capture the episode interactive target audience/age group, but I wanted to use this fun and unique story telling style to discuss real life issues about love, lost, betrayal, forgiveness, friendship and finding yourself. I came up with Stone Hearts, which I finally published on yesterday! I think the story is great and I hope you all fall in love with the characters, enjoy all the choices, the unique fashion style, and will be able to relate to some of the issues these characters have to overcome. Stone Hearts is a Three Part Series. I started with 6 episodes for Part One, but included a trailer for Part Two so that readers can get a sneak peak of what's to come. I am extremely excited to share this story with all of you, and I am equally eager to read all of your amazing stories. Please give me feedback and leave links to your stories as well. I look forward to hearing from you!!! Good luck fellow authors

    Chazzie

    Story Title: Stone Hearts (Three Part Series)

    Author: Chazzie H.

    Genre: Drama, Mystery, Love

    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5147780655087616

    Comment


    • losersam
      losersam commented
      Editing a comment
      hi! i believe you wanted feedback.

      story title: this title is unique and captivating and for some reason, i really like it!! reflects the themes of grief/loss well, but still a subtle hint at something more to come. the three-part series threw me off a little - i think it would fit better as a disclaimer inside of the story. (8/10)

      description: i was NOT expecting murder to play into this. lol it's all the more intriguing. mysterious without being too elusive or giving away too much. (10/10)
      grammar: grammar is great. you don't have any problems with spelling/punctuation/capitalization, but i do notice a couple of instances where you put there instead of their near the beginning of the first episode. otherwise, i'm not seeing much else. (9/10)

      spot directing: spot directing isn't too basic. you have a really nice active zoom at the beginning of ep.1, and i see you do a lot with background characters to keep settings realistic, which i definitely appreciate. actions flow well overall. one thing i'd like to point out is that in the character customization, there's an error in the zoom. (9/10)

      plot (based off of first 3 episodes): you develop the plot intriguingly at the beginning by using a poem + the little reflection, and then move on well with the flashback. it does go a little slowly, but it's for the backstory more than anything, so i don't mind. plot doesn't rush overall. (10/10)

      additional feedback: N/A

      overall rating (x/50): 46/50

  • #14
    Hey, I find what you're doing very helpful to small authors and it'd be amazing if you give my story a try,
    Story title: The Ringleader
    Extended description: Things take a turn for the worse on the night of an important mission. You're forced to reconcile an enemy on a mission. The leader of the most powerful, feared gang in America. Will it lead to sparks of love or flames of hatred?
    Genre: Romance, drama, comedy (some action and mystery).
    Style: INK
    Chapters: 4 (working on more)
    I don't have a reason not to want feedback, it'd be very helpful however if you don't have time I completely understand

    Story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4896197778341888


    Comment


    • #15
      Hey guys,

      Hello my name is Danielle Outten, This is my first episodes story but i promise you im a great writer so please stick with me i promise i have loads of fun for us. Feel free to DM on instagram or write me on the Q&A thankss !! ... Basically if you read my story I'll read your story.

      Please read my story!!


      Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5352610594029568


      Title: The Fabulous Life Of Crystal

      Author: Danielle Outten

      Genre: Romance

      Style: Classic

      Episodes: 1-4 (plenty more to come)

      Description: Crystal's life takes a turn for the best and the worst so she thinks. But can true love be the answer for all happiness??

      Instagram: Danielle.episodes πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’›

      Comment

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