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Story Reviews: On plot, Directing, and Story Telling!

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  • Story Reviews: On plot, Directing, and Story Telling!

    Hey Everyone!
    I am going to be reviewing your episode stories I love reading other creators' stories and less popular ones are hard to find within the episode app. You don't have to do anything in return. Just reply to this in the following format and I will try to read one (maybe even 2) episodes of your story and give a cohesive review and criticism on it. In the Episode community, I think everyone is always striving to improve, so please don't take any of my critism to heart as I try to be constructive.

    Story Title:
    Genre:
    Short Description:
    Author name:

    Thank you I'm very excited to read your stories

  • #2
    Story Title: Alba: Collecting Wolves
    Genre: Fantasy/Mystery/Romance
    Short Description: Maeve is one of only 5 wolves with white eyes. They are being kidnapped and no-one knows where they are, who took them or why. Maeve is next.
    Author: J A Eaton
    (My story has no sound because I am partially deaf so I struggled with putting sound in the script)

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for showing me your story, I enjoyed it a lot! I read the first 4 episodes of your story, just because I wanted the full effect.
      First, here are the things I really enjoyed about your story!
      -Your use of overlays (you've done an excellent job!)
      -All the custom backgrounds (I can tell you've spent a lot of time preparing for this story!)
      -Your story has such a unique, different, and interesting plot line compared to most other stories! This is a very nice break from the casual cliche. This also makes your story especially refreshing.
      -Your story line comes together really nicely, unlike how other stories just throw it all together in one scene.

      Now onto the criticism!
      I'm not going to lie, I found it extremely difficult to find anything to criticize you on. I'm surprised your story doesn't have more views. I think a lot of people would benefit from having such a refreshing story in their favorites. Although, it was never really explained why the characters have two separate names or spirits (sorry if I'm not describing it correctly), if this is something common with these types of stories then I apologize, and that's simply me being uneducated. But it would be super cool if there was a bit of the story dedicated to explaining the abilities and double name + mating system. Perhaps in a choice where the player had the option to reflect on this if they didn't fully understand. Using more zooms can also add a lot of value to a story, making suspenseful parts better etc etc, I saw a couple of really good zooms I enjoyed and I feel like if you used more it would really add to the story!

      I will absolutely be continuing to read your story, it's a real joy.

    • G. Lambent
      G. Lambent commented
      Editing a comment
      I've taken a look too because of the review and I understand completely what is happening because I have previous knowledge of Werewolf stories. I like that you haven't described it because that can be repetitive and boring and I already know what is happpening. For those who wouldn't understand it can get confusing so I think making it a choice to learn about werewolves or maybe have something at the end that clears it up is a great idea! Saying that, you're the author, you decide. Overall I really like it!

    • JAEatonstories
      JAEatonstories commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for the great feedback! I have taken both comments on board and will put the choice in the first episode to explain the wolf abilities e.t.c.
      I didn't feel the need to include it because I assumed the amount of wolf stories that include the description of them - people would automatically know.
      However, my description will be somewhat different to the way other authors have done.

      I have to say, I was feeling some self-doubt with my story due to the lack of reads and feedback in comparison with the amount of effort I've put in.
      Especially considering I actually only felt the need to write this as I found almost every wolf story I'd read had the same plot/story line.
      So thank you both for the help easing the anxiety!!

  • #3
    Hello, I've got this new story that I have written and would love some feedback to see if I'm on the right track, even ideas for what I could do! I have been looking for some honest feedback, be as brutal as you need hahaha :-)

    Title: Changed
    Author: G. Lambent
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    Chapters: 4 (ongoing)
    Style: Ink

    Description: Forever trapped. Forever engulfed in darkness. How do you find your identity when you've been stripped of one? Battles stereotypical views society holds on individuals and how perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5031726030782464

    Thank you so much for reading!!!


    00cover1.jpg
    Last edited by G. Lambent; 10-03-2017, 01:13 AM.

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      I thought I replied to this but I must have forgotten, oops. I really enjoyed your directing, your use of spot directing and zooms added lots of value to your story. Your story is also extremely different from any other story I have read in the past. So I read all of the 4 episodes that you have up right now, and I felt that as the story progressed the episodes definitely improved content wise (like for example what was revealed in that episode and what the characters did) overall I'm really surprised that your story doesn't have more reads, it really really should. The only piece of criticism I have, that may not even be true, is that I can't actually hear at sound. This is probably an error on my part or my headphones not working correctly but just in case I thought I should mention it. I am positive your story is going in the right direction

    • G. Lambent
      G. Lambent commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'll check the sound, it glitches when I write the episodes a lot and sometimes I can't hear the sound effects either, I only add small ones such as a doorbell ringing for that reason. Again thank you so much!!

  • #4
    Story Title: Projection!
    Genre: Comedy
    Short Description: Harry Stevens is looking for his big break in the world of musical theatre. But what will it take to get there?
    Author name: Karlon Artis

    http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6046875219918848

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi! I read the first episode of your story. I would have read more, but overall the story didn't make me feel inclined to read the next episode, and I only say this because the scenes seemed super quick and the choices didn't feel like they had any effect in the story, or that the choices were put there just because but didn't add anything to the plot. I love your use of music, I think it made the story a lot more enjoyable. I think your story would really benefit it you used transitions instead of just a black screen, it would really help bring the story together. Because your story is very quirky, I'd recommend a sliding transition or maybe one using color. I also really enjoyed that the main protagonist was a male, that's pretty hard to find in episode stories these days. Thanks for sharing your story with me

  • #5
    Story Title: Crimes: True At Heart
    Genre: Mystery
    Short Description: They say that humans were born with a pure heart, what kind of experiences caused them to grow up as serial killers?
    Author name: Heart Live

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey! I read the first 2 episodes of your story! I loved the investigation style story you have set up. It makes your story very engaging for the reader. It also makes the reader want to keep reading to find out who the murderer was. There were a couple of points in the story where the animations weren't quite smooth, for example when the characters walk and then do an animation in the same line. An example of this is when the two girls were kissing. I recommend that you preview that again and fix it in your script. It's very clear that you know a lot about crime solving and inspection and forensics. You put your knowledge to good use and it works excellently. Thank you for sharing your story with me!

  • #6
    Story Title: The Five Elements
    Genre: Fantasy
    Short Description: Unaware of their true powers will the elements be able to save the human world from approaching danger?
    Author name: Purple

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi I read the first two episodes of your story! And wow, I'm seriously impressed. I'm shocked your story doesn't already have 1,000 views. No joke, your use of the intro, sounds, overlays, custom backgrounds, and backstory is excellent. Your plot is seriously engaging and interesting, each character is unique and exciting in their own separate ways. I'm really excited to learn what happens next in the story. Also, the reader really feels like their choices have impact thanks to the pop ups that you have in the bottom of the screen after some choices. Really stunning and advanced work. I think your story is headed in the right direction. Because I only saw the first two episodes, it's hard for me to give any criticism. Really impressive work, keep it up!

    • PurpleP
      PurpleP commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much. This really means so much to me. I'm really happy you liked it, thanks again for your beautiful words💜😍😀😊

  • #7
    You can read my story if you want

    Story : Delicate Feelings
    Genre : Romance
    Type : INK
    Feelings or love?
    Feelings with love?

    Instagram: @samayeta.episode

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey, I tried reading your story. Unfortunately I couldn't get past the character customization screen. The script must be pretty messed up, because there is no way to submit and carry on with the story. All the buttons that would help you finish just lead you back to hairstyles. I'm pretty positive this isn't a tapping glitch so I would recommend you use a different script for the character customiztion. This is especially true concerning the fact that I couldn't even read the episode. Other than that there were multiple punctuation and capitalization errors. Unfortunately that's all I can say because I was unable to finish reading the episode.

  • #8
    Story: RoyalTEA (14 Episodes + Ongoing! )
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    Type: Limelight
    Short description: Step into the world of glitz, glamour, chaos, and betrayal that is Royalty.
    Author: Samara Alíz

    - Check out my instagram as well! Samaraaliz
    Last edited by Samaraaliz; 10-03-2017, 08:31 AM.

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey! I read the first episode of your story. I'm pretty sure there weren't any choices in it though. I also thought that the episode was too fast. The reader isn't given any background info and feels no relation to the characters that they seem to be following around. I really appreciated that you used sound and I also enjoyed the use of the limelight style. It's really fun to read stories in limelight. Anyways I think your story could really benefit from a rework of episode 1. Thanks for sharing your story with me

  • #9
    Story: Holding On (4 Episodes + Ongoing!)
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    Type: Limelight
    Short Description: Letting go, it's way easier said than done.
    Author: Samara Alíz

    - Check out my instagram as well! Samaraaliz

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm having trouble finding your story, I would really appreciate it if you could provide me with a link. Thank you!

  • #10
    Story Title: The Darkness Within (Limelight)
    Genre: Fantasy
    Short Description: Tragedy descends the day your ability emerges. Will possessing such ability prove to be a blessing or a curse?
    Author Name: Zayen

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      I love your story so much that I read all the available episodes. I've never seen a story with such a rich backstory and unique set of characters contributing to the plot. Every choice in your story feels like it has purpose, and every set of choices has very complex scripting.When I say complex, I mean it too. I cannot imagine how many hours it must have taken you to have all the episodes that you have now with all those choices. Your use of overlays is also amazing, I'm so glad you used them for this story because they really contributed a lot of value. When I read this story, I could tell that this was a story you've been meaning to make for awhile, or that a lot of thought was put into how it would turn out. Keep up the excellent work, I'm glad that we have creators like you in our community!

    • Zayen
      Zayen commented
      Editing a comment
      Stale Cacti Thank you so much for your review! Your kind words are very much appreciated and I'm really glad to know that you have enjoyed it

  • #11
    Title: Love Quest

    Author: Katie and Maddie

    Genre: Romance

    Style: Ink

    Episodes: 4 ongoing

    Description: After a tough breakup, you are on a quest to find love again. But, is being in the spotlight a real way to find love?

    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5416940223594496

    Instagram: @thetalk_maddie and @kt_episode

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey! I read the first episode of your story! I definitely wasn't expecting a tv show route based on your description, but it was a nice surprise. I would recommend adding that somewhere in the description, I think you'll get more reads that way since a lot of readers tend to stray away from cliches. I really enjoyed the characters and plot line actually, I thought it was a pretty cute story. I think with the use of overlays and more complex spot directing, your story would really stand out. For now it is absolutely on the right track. Thanks for sharing your story!

    • lovelymaddie
      lovelymaddie commented
      Editing a comment
      Stale Cacti Thank you so much for the nice review. I'll go ahead and incorporate TV show in the description. Thank you again for giving my story a chance.

  • #12
    Title: My Boss' Baby
    Author: Kershelle Mike (kmike772)
    Genre: Romance/Drama
    Number of Episodes:13 (ongoing)
    Style: Ink
    Description: She wants to catch a break. He wants a family. Maybe they can help each other out...
    Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6542812192702464

    My Boss Baby Final.png

    Comment


    • mys.ticalFaye
      mys.ticalFaye commented
      Editing a comment
      your story sounds interesting! and I love how the cover art looks like an actual book! I'm definitely going to add your story to my reading list.

    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey! I read the first episode of your story. Unfortunately I found it was pretty short, I recommend trying to make the first episode always very long so that you can get the most background info in there to continue with the story. When you have characters talking, I noticed you add a ... in the beginning of the next line to show it's a continuation of a previously cut off sentence. However I don't think this works too well, and I actually found it slightly agitating to read. I would suggest that you put a complete sentence in one box, and then don't start a new sentence in that same box. Put the next sentence in the second box. Also, don't forget to use spot directing so that the screen doesn't seem too cluttered

  • #13
    Hi there! I'm still working on my story right now. I have 3 chapters so far. Thanks for offering to do a review btw. You are too kind! <3

    Title: Happenstance
    Author: Faye Hayes
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    Chapters: 3
    Style: Ink

    Sypnosis: Life is all about chances and taking risks. But maybe, just maybe, there is happenstance.

    URL: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5078603760664576

    Comment


    • Stale Cacti
      Stale Cacti commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey! I read the first 3 episodes of your story! I can already tell this ones going to be excellent, you say in the beginning that your directing may not be very good. I found this highly incorrect, in fact I think your directing is splendid! It's also a great role model for other new creators. Your story line has a lot of substance, and is engagingly interesting even at the start. Keep up the excellent work!

  • #14
    Title: Falling for a Superstar
    Genre: Romance
    Description: Nicole unknowingly kisses a Superstar. Revelation,Differences, Acceptance! In the world of fame, can true love win?
    Author: Ni

    Comment


    • #15
      Hey guys I am a new writer here...So read my first story (Love Never Ends..) and support it pl.z.i am trying hard to make it beautiful...So pl.z read it ....
      Title- Love Never Ends..
      Episodes- 7 and ongoing
      Genre- Drama
      Style- INK
      Description- Love always makes us strong.This story about a boy whose love change his world and make him stronge but came back in different way.
      Link- http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4764065062846464
      Instagram- @priyanka.episode

      Comment

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