A Good Description?

Hi! I’m attempting to write my first story and I wanted to know if this description is good or captivating enough?

DESCRIPTION:
Your claimed first love from more than 5 years ago sends you a wedding invitation, but you begin to regret ever letting him go.

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I love it! Just a quick fix on grammar, if you like this as well. @shays_neo

You claimed your first love more than 5 years ago, which sends you a wedding invitation. But you begin to regret the day you let him go.

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ahhh this is perfect! thank you so much for fixing it as well! @lanafrazer_episode

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No problem, good luck on your first story! Let me know when it’s out! :star_struck:

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for sure! :blush:

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I think so.

Also, shameless self-promotion, but I have a thread that’s featured on my profile dedicated to help with story descriptions and titles.

So, check that out if you need to.

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Moved to Share Feedback since this is about story ideas and descriptions. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :smiley:

i will! thank youu

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Personally I dont like it, its wordy and hard to read.

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Well everyone has their own opinions so it’s okay. If you don’t like it, you don’t. Lol

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I just feel it seem weird.

this make it sound like they are togheter. I would change claimed to lost.

I am not english but this seem wrong, I would say when he sends you a wedding invitation. instead.

and this I would change completly.

here is how I would maybe write it, though I also am not good at description.

5 years ago, you let your first love go. but when you receive his wedding invitation, you start to regret lossing him, but can you let him go in time for his big day.

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I just want to include my opinion real quickly but the description you wrote is actually great, and I think it is better than the other one because the other one sounds kind of not placed together to its full potential. (lol Idk how to explain it, so that’s the best way I could explain it :joy:) And btw “lossing” it’s actually losing.

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This sentence is grammatically correct, but it’s wordy, and hard to read. Grammarly’s cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader. :grinning: (sorry I had too lol)

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yeah defently there I had it from :sweat:, when you see the add that much you start talking like it :sweat_smile:

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blame grammarly. they didnt say it was spelled wrong.

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I feel you, I use it sometimes lol.

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ohh I see what you mean lol. this makes sense :sweat_smile:

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