A story idea! Please comment and share your opinions!

Hi guys! My name is Andrea and I’m generally a new writer on Episode. I have a story plot/idea in mind, and I have some feedbacks. I’m always open for a good critique. :smile:

I still have no idea about the title of the book. By the way, names are temporary.

  • So, I was thinking about some kind of traumatic past for the main character. Olivia (the main character) has no parents. No family. She was always independent and on her own. Of course, her friends were always there for her. She finished a Law Enforcement School and became a criminal detective (working for FBI). Her specialty is finding missing persons.

  • So, she gets a case of a missing girl, who left no clues when leaving. As if she simply dissappeared. Soon, unable to continue the investigation on her own, she received Agent Gray as an associate during the investigation. (Name suggestions are also wanted.)

  • The first few days of cooperation were not the best, considering that on his first day, he ran into her and spilled his coffee on her uniform. (A little comical part, they’re both mad at each other.)

  • But, they manage to smooth relations, they become friends. And they capture the feelings for each other.

  • During the resolution of the case, it turns out that Olivia’s family is still alive. Her parents have a perfect family, a son and a daughter. What will happen when she finds it out? What will happen when she find the place where the girl is taken?

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I like this idea, you dont see stories where the FBI investigates something outside of serial murders very often, I even did that myself. I think the backstory of the character can make for her to be very interesting and i like the conflict that it will cause. I think it does have a few tropes that you might want to be careful with. I really think this could be a great story and id say its original, ive never seen something like this on episode.

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Thanks! This really means to me! :slight_smile:

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You’re welcome! One other thing, I’d recommend doing far too much research on the FBI and how they go about solving these things, proper terms just makes it sound so much better lol

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Thanks again, I surely will… :joy:

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Hey and welcome! :hugs: :cherry_blossom:
I love your story idea. However as @willowkayyy already said, you should definitely do some research. That coffee spilling idea as first meeting is a little too cliché for me :sweat_smile: but of course - it’s your story :slight_smile:

I don’t really get this part though :thinking: :sweat_smile: Does it mean her parents are keeping her somewhere?

Here are some unique name suggestions for the partner:

  • Salih
  • Kael
  • Elias
  • Lash
  • Vance
  • Raimond

I recommend https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/ for names of any kind :slight_smile:

Also, here are some title suggestions from my 🌻 Story Title Shop 🌻 (New!) :

  • Out Of Time
  • In Between
  • Under Pressure
  • Out Of Bounds
  • Dedication To The Cause
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I can’t wait for this to be released. Sounds interesting.

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Hey and welcome! :hugs: :cherry_blossom:
I love your story idea. However as @willowkayyy already said, you should definitely do some research.

Thanks! I’m glad you like it!

That’s the first thing that came to my mind… :sweat_smile: It surely is cliché, but I brainstormed this while coming back from work… (Because we love sudden bursts of inspiration :joy:)

I don’t really get this part though :thinking: :sweat_smile: Does it mean her parents are keeping her somewhere?

No. Her parents left her in orphanage when she was a baby. Why? I was thinking about them being 17 or so, and just simply wanting to have their own life. (They always loved her, no matter what.)

So, the main thing in the story is around her family, because she thought they were dead all her life.

And, when she comes to friendly neighborhood, the suburb of NYC, Scarsdale (actually exists), because of the questioning, she’ll realise it’s them somehow… (Still working on that part… Not sure how exactly?)

Here are some unique name suggestions for the partner:

  • Salih
  • Kael
  • Elias
  • Lash
  • Vance
  • Raimond

I recommend https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/ for names of any kind :slight_smile:

Thanks! I’ll need that! :grinning: :heart:

Also, here are some title suggestions from my << Story Title Shop >> :

  • Out Of Time
  • In Between
  • Under Pressure
  • Out Of Bounds
  • Dedication To The Cause

You’re literally a lifesaver! I just need an artist for a cover now. (Onto the search now! :rofl: :rofl:) Thanks again!!! I think that “Dedication to the cause” and “Under pressure” sound great!

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Thanks!!! :grinning: :heart:

I’m a Kdrama fan, so the coffee spill seems cute, especially if the guy is the one who spills it and is really sorry and nervous, rather than the girl.

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Yeah, that was the original idea… Honestly, it was the first thing that came to my mind… (I was coming back from work, and I got sudden burst of inspiration in the middle of the bus…)

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thats for agreeing with me! I’d recommend you research the FBI, FBI academy, department of justice, the district attorney, FBI entry requirements, maybe the department of defense, and how the FBI profile kidnappers. It’s a pain but it really makes the story realistic.

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if you dont mind I have a few advice. you can take them or leave depending if you find them revelevant or not

for traumatick past. I recomend you dont throw that at the readers in first chapter,

both because its a mystery, and its best to keep things secreth

secondly because being shown trauma for the start, both feels like you try to earn pity points for the MC. but it also give a warp feelings on the MC’s personality

that is a bit over used clichi name, nothing wrong with using ofcourse, also I think in most criminal series they refore to each other by last name.

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Thanks! I really needed some advice about that. I already started with basic terminology (such as administrative assignment, Ambush (entrapment/premeditation)…) It is kinda pain in the ass, because I’m not a native english speaker, but as someone who has decent grammar and vocabulary I think I’ll be okay. :joy: :joy: :joy:

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Honestly I feel you! I have so many things bookmarked that I refer to because my FBI agents are behavioural analysts, if you need any help with terminology or how things work I know like everything now lmaoo so feel free to message me!

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Yeah, of course. The whole story would lose it’s point if I did that. I was thinking about putting that around 5th episode?

Oh, I see that. :joy:

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Aghhh! You’re amazing! Thank youu! I’ll definitely need a help! I’ll ask you if I need something. :white_heart:

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you’re welcome <3

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Oh, okay! So if I got it right: Olivia, who has no family, is reported missing (by who?). Later it turns out her family is alive, her parents just couldn’t raise her and had to give her up. ? :thinking:

Maybe Olivia and her mother (or someone) have the same mole on the cheek?

There are many art shop (free!) here on the forums :hugs: Check out the “Art resources” page :slight_smile:

Let me know when you decide on one, so that I can remove it from the list and prevent someone having the same title for their story :slight_smile:
Also let me know if you need more help, directing, story ideas or anything else. I’ll be happy to help :blush:

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What’s the name of the story? (By the way, I have just read the whole thing again and realised this :joy:)