Abi's Story Reviews

FOR THOSE STILL WAITING FOR A REVIEW, I AM EXTREMELY BEHIND! I PROMISE YOUR REVIEW IS COMING SOON

If you’re looking for a place to get your story reviewed or get some feedback, you’ve come to the right place! There are many threads on here that are similar, like:

(Feel free to check out Amberose’s thread as well as this, she gives great feedback!)

I wanted to make my own, because I’m looking for stories to read and I would love to give feedback to people! So, here’s all you have to do:

Tell me:

  • Title
  • Author
  • Description
  • Number Of Chapters
  • Covers (Include Images!)
  • Link to your story (optional but it is preferred.)

Depending on how many chapters you have, I might read the whole thing and I might not. If you have 5+ chapters, I’ll read up to chapter 5. And if you have 5 or less, I’ll read all chapters.

Once you reply with your details, I’ll tag you down below in the waiting list. Once I read your story, I’ll @ you and attach a review type thing with things you can improve and things I liked. Like this:

Improvements

  • dot point 1
  • dot point 2

Things I liked

  • dot point 1
  • dot point 2

I will try my best to be honest and as thorough as possible with your review. Keep in mind, you don’t have to follow through with my advice if you don’t want to, it’s your choice, but just know that what I give you will be my opinion and will not be intended to hurt anyone’s feelings or insult anyone/put them down.


I HAVE NO SET TIME. SOMETIMES I GET REVIEWS DONE WITHIN A DAY, SOMETIMES WITHIN A WEEK, SOMETIMES EVEN WITHIN A MONTH. DEPENDS ON HOW BUSY I AM. SO DON’T FREAK IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR REVIEW IMMEDIATELY. THANKS!

Waiting List

Beyond Repair @Geegtfo
Whoopsie Daisy @Sunrise
The Star Necklace @Maya6
LOVE: Mission (im)possible? @Nadi_Episode
Temperamental @sam.c
Falling For Bad @nellyy.epi
Feminism @Maria_P_Whiberlli
Clue: Without A Trace @Problematic_Patrick
Your Woman @wesley
Avatar @a_mojtaPL
Sidereal @aprilish
Between Worlds @BadBoyBillionaireBBB
Where The Shadows Belong @daniepisodewriter

8 Likes

Can I ask for a review?

Title: Capture the Moment
Author: Karlon Artis
Description: Takoda is a photographer who inspires to become freelance and expand his portfolio. Can he snapshot his way to success?
Number of Chapters: 6
Cover:


Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5666941859397632

2 Likes

Sure! Since I have a lot of extra time today, I’ll be able to get yours done hopefully by today instead of 2-3 weeks. :slight_smile:

1 Like

Awesome! Thanks.

1 Like

Title: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author: Jannah Jackson
Description: Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you survive, solve the havoc and save everyone before it’s too late? CharacterCustomization
Episodes: 6/7
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5909308359180288

Cover

JANNAHJACKSON%20SMALL

1 Like

Capture The Moment @kahotshot

Improvements:

• In chapter 1 when Takoda walks in the house and talks to Vincent, Vincent Is facing the wrong way and it looks like he’s talking to the wall. I’m not sure if this was a directing mistake or not. I also noticed this in all the other chapters.

• The entire park scene where Eaton threatened Takoda and pushed him and then michelle saved the day was a little bit strange and unrealistic. I can’t imagine this ever happening in real life. Maybe you could make Takoda accidentally bump into Eaton first so that Eaton has something to be mad about?

• As far as I could see, there was nothing wrong with Chapter 2

• When Vincent got the food at the late night coffee shop, Takoda was talking to himself saying it was fun to hang out with Vincent, it sounded like he was supposed to be talking to him but he wasn’t there. Was this a mistake?

• I noticed Haloke and Michelle kiss him on the cheek a lot. Like a LOT. Wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, just something I noticed.

• Whenever Vincent and Takoda talk, it’s always Takoda entering and talking to Vincent who is on the couch and I noticed you always use the same background and most likely same coding. After a while, it seems a little bit repetitive. Maybe you could try using a different background every once in a while to switch it up?

• I would have liked if we saw a little bit of Vincent’s life, just to see more into his personality outside of being Takoda’s roommate.

• In the end of chapter 4 and start of chapter 5, I thought it was a little weird that Vincent, Haloke, Michelle and Takoda were all at the same place on the street at the same time. But I guess that was for the plot.

• I found it a bit interesting that Takoda had to ‘choose’ between them so little time after knowing Michelle. No one admitted their feelings either, so how did they know that he had feelings for them?

• I would have liked a more dramatic buildup to the final choosing between Haloke and Michelle.

• In chapter 5, Haloke was kissing Takoda for a really long time and he was just awkwardly standing there.

Things I liked:

• Love the male MC. I don’t usually see many of those.

• Liked the spot directing at the park in chapter 1.

• Really nice use of sounds and text effects.

• I liked the amount of choices.

• The chapters were a nice and satisfying length.

• Great grammar and punctuation.

• Uh oh, Takoda’s gonna have to choose between Haloke and Michelle, isn’t he? I like the love triangle.

• Haha! I knew he would have to choose between them.

• Aw, I feel bad for Michelle when I chose Haloke.

So overall, I actually really liked this story. I usually don’t read stories in the comedy section, but I quite enjoyed this. I liked the diversity of the characters, I liked their personalities and it left me wanting to read more. Even though I only read to chapter 5 (as promised) I could see myself reading more when it comes out. It’s super unique and I don’t think I’ve ever read a story like this. Keep up the good work!

Hi, Abi. Thanks for offering a review, here are the details. :nerd_face:

Title: i-Robin (Link)
Author: DanDuck
Description: In 2050, where technology advances, what challenges will Robin, a female droid, face along with all the dramas?
Number Of Chapters: 3
Cover:

1 Like

I will add you to my waiting list :slight_smile:

1 Like

Hi Abi,

I’d like to ask for a review

Story: Secrets from Hell (INK)
Autor: WNVT
Chapters: 19
Genre: Action
Description: “Since we were born, we’ve been torn. But, I’ve lost too much, even myself…”
A cold-blooded killer with an odd family whose members have a lot of secrets to unfold
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5186087242825728

Important Note

The story is still unpublished you’ll definitely need

Cover

Thank you in advance :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like

Adding you to the waiting list now :relaxed:

1 Like

Thanks so much for this!

Title Compulsion
Author Aimee.A
Description Zyro Morte is sent on death row. He’s given the chance to extend his time after the FBI need him for a mission. Simple? One problem, he has to jeopardize his soulmates family!?
Number Of Chapters 3 so far but the story isn’t published yet!
Covers (Include Images!) Not made yet!
Link to your story (optional but it is preferred.) http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6725446713540608

1 Like

Please review my story :blush:
This is my story😊Chaos%20cover

Story name : CHAOS

Author name : RJ_GSB

Genre : Romance

Episodes : 6(more to come)

Summary : Blaze Norman, a cold and ruthless CEO of Norman enterprises has decided to take Ava Carter as his bride.Not in heavens was going to stop him.

Style : limelight

Link:

1 Like

Hey! Would love your review on my story :heart:

Author: C.W.Kingston
Instagram: c.w.kingston
Title: And Remember
Episodes: 7 (and more)
Style: Ink
Genre: Romance
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5630609166761984

Description: They say that if you truly love someone, the whole universe will conspire to bring you to them. Will it? For Matt and Ravina?!

1 Like

I would love a review from you.

This is my first one and english is not my first language. The details are below.

Story details

Story Title: Black Hearts And Golden Desires
Genre: Fantasy
Description: Nand is a princess of Solataria, along with her better two halves, her sisters. But what will happen if an old enemy arises back for revenge? Will Nand be able to handle it?
Chapter: 6
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5019562149478400

cover

Cover:

1 Like

Thanks for the feedback.

I tried to make Vincent face Takoda while he’s on the couch, but he overlaps weird with the couch when he faces left.

Ironically, I have another story where the MC actually gets kissed on the cheek more times than Takoda does in this story.

I was trying to show Takoda getting kissed all over his face (if this makes sense) by the love interest the reader picks (in this case, Haloke). I’m not sure if there’s a better way to direct it though.

1 Like

Tribe Of Malapinchi @JannahJackson

Improvements:

• Honestly, the only thing I can say about this is that the chapters were a bit long for my liking, but that’s subjective, some people like long chapters and some don’t.

• Although I liked the spooky nightmare intro in the first chapter, it was super long and there was no way to skip it.

Things I liked:

• Okay, so just by the cover and title alone, I can tell I’m going to love this story.

• Thriller! Interesting, I’ve never read a thriller story.

• Wow, really nice and clean intro and warnings. Love all the detail!!

• Oh wow, I loved the cliffhanger beginning. Spooky! It really got my attention!

• Really nice use of sounds and text effects.

• I like how you used the proper text format instead of speech bubbles. I see that mistake a lot with writers.

• Really nice zooms.

• Great grammar and punctuation.

• Love the backgrounds.

• !!! How on earth did you manage to get the INK style and the Limelight style in the same story?! That was amazing!

• I can’t stress enough how awesome I thought it was that we were playing in “ITS” perspective in some scenes.

• Oh no, I died in the first chapter hahah

Okay, so. In the simplest way, I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH. How does it not have more reads?!! I literally can’t fault anything on it. It has amazing character development, directing, zooms, everything. I love this story so much. I bet a LOT of work went into this, which I really appreciate. Keep up the awesome work!

i-Robin @DanDuck

Improvements:
• I think maybe the only thing I can say to improve this is to make the chapters a little longer.

• In the second chapter, when Robin says “Hey Allicah…” there is no animation.

• In chapter 3, the narration says “You throw your butts on to the end of your bed” instead of “butt.” Wasn’t really a huge thing, just a funny little thing I noticed haha

• Same kind of thing as before, where it says “You play with your hairs” instead of “hair”


Things I liked:

• My first impressions of this story are great. Love the name, cover, and idea.

• Ooh! Spotlight style! Love it!

• I love the intro.

• I love how choices matter.

• Good grammar.

• Cute dress choices.

• Woah, freaky! The ‘cute stalker’ on campus that Robin meets looks exactly like my episode avatar but with a different hair style and colour.

So, I honestly can’t really fault this story. I tried really hard to look for things to critique, but I honestly couldn’t. It was a super cute rather simple story and it was a nice idea as well. Keep it up, I liked it :blush:

1 Like

Secrets From Hell @Nessya

Improvements:

  • Bah! Try not to begin with a character saying an Author’s note. Maybe add the information at the start (info about choices etc.) in a Narrator box. This doesn’t really bother me, but I know that it bothers a lot of readers and bores them before they read the story.

  • The sound screen and advanced directing screen in the intro go too fast and don’t give me enough time to read it.

  • I noticed nearly all of your sentences don’t have full stops/periods at the end. This bothers me a little bit but not that much. I advise going through and adding them at the end, because I know a lot of people don’t like this. Although, I did notice you started adding some later in the chapter.

  • Like I said before, try not to do Author notes (your character popping up and saying things) at the start and end.

  • A lot of things are happening very quickly and the scenes switch fast. I often forget which character is which because there are so many.

  • Is there supposed to be a main character? And who is it? I can’t tell.

  • The intro screen was super long.

  • I couldn’t fault much in the third chapter.

Things I liked:

  • I love the outfit of the character at the beginning

  • I love love LOVE the slow zoom going up her body.

  • Love the overlays!

  • Really liked the first flashback scene. That was really well directed and transitioned.

  • I liked the length of the chapters, maybe a little bit longer than I would have preferred but kept me interested.

  • Vivian is so cute.

  • Woah, Damon is super tall. Or is Patrick just really short? I like the height differences between all the characters.

  • I liked the amount of flashbacks.

  • This might be a weird thing to say, but I like the words they use. They sound really professional.

So, in conclusion, even though I only read until Chapter 5 (as I was supposed to) I really enjoyed this story and I like the idea. Although, I found it hard to keep up in some places because the scenes switch fast and there are so many characters. Other than that, the zooming and spot directing was perfect and there were no errors from what I could see. Although I do have one question, why did you decide to keep the story unpublished even though you have a lot of them? Are you planning on completing the story first and then publishing? Anyway, keep up the good work!

1 Like

No way, you actually love Spotlight style? You could say that again haha. I just thought people here in Episode generally love directing and stuff, which I’m pretty bad at it. Instead, I’ll use words to make up my weakness.

Well, then we can all agree on the fact that the face feature is indeed adorable then. :wink:

Anyway, I appreciate you for pointing out the flaws in my story (which is pretty hard for me as I have to go through a few different branching for different endings like Doctor Strange and it kills. Muahaha).

Ah, I tried to make it slightly over 10 minutes. But if I should be able to chuck in a couple of minutes of less significant conversations. :thinking:

Whelp, I thought it should be butts, with a plural form. Ahahaha.

Last but not least, thank you for such a sweet review! :star_struck:

1 Like

You’re very welcome! :smile:

1 Like