Okay so I don’t really know why I’m posting this here but hopefully someone will understand me because when I talked to my friends about it they were like- Eh? I don’t blame it because I’m like, super weird
So I’ve never been in a relationship before, my last crush was almost six years ago and I haven’t had a crush or something like that since then;-; I always say I really want a crush and when I read or write romance or see cute couples irl I’m like ohhh I want this as well. But when it comes to reality I’m super, super stressed from it. Last year a guy was interested in me and he asked me out, and I ignored him for more than four months because I didn’t know how to react and when he told me I thought I was going to cry. Every time someone mentioned it I felt sorta anoxious and stressed ;-; I told him no at the end because I wasn’t really interested in him and I was too scared of my reaction from the whole situation. ;-; I really have no idea why am I like this.
What triggered me to post this sh*t was today. I was sitting with my friends in the classroom and some guy stared at me for a moment and talked to his friend and it looked like he was saying I’m cute or other positive things about me because he smiled and I immediately turned my face away and I felt like I was going to cry again. I got really stressed and for a moment I felt like I prefer that he’ll say bad things about me instead of whatever he said to his friend.
I’m only sixteen tho and I have a whole life ahead of me and I don’t really want a relationship atm. But my reaction to these situations really bothers me and I wondered if I’m the only one who feels like this. Because I honestly feel super weird and I have absolutely no idea why it causes me so much stress I’m sorry for the long post but if you feel the same or smth pls advice me cuz I have no idea what the f am I doing
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Oop- so I’ve never liked anyone in my entire life. But maybe you could go up and talk to him about him staring. And if it’s nothing then. Just say you would like to be friends, maybe in the future you two could hit it off ya know… but is he did mean something tell him you want to know him better maybe then one of you could ask the other on a date… I’m not a best at relationship advice but I try lmao
I’ve never had this experience but this sounds a lot like what some of my asexual friends describe when they talk about dating in high school. They didn’t know they were asexual at the time and they were not getting what other people seemed to be getting out of relationships so they forced themselves to pretend and it gave them massive amounts of stress and anxiety. I have a lot of gay friends who grew up in homophobic situations that describe something similar.
To be honest, I have been with multiple partners over the past few years. I’m 20 years old and my partner today is a blessing. But I went through a lot from previous partners such as abuse. I try to keep my chin up and distract myself with hobbies for League Of Legends and Episode. If it helps, consider writing a story where you can use your feelings to personalise the writing.
You are only sixteen, you’ll meet loads of new people in the future and I’m sure you will find someone. I know that isn’t what you probably wanted to hear but as someone who has gone through exactly what you are feeling right now, I’d love to offer my ears to you if you want to chat more privately or you generally need someone to rant too.
I have only just started Episode so I’m hoping to make some good friends who I can help support and grow as a writer with. If you did want to ever message me, please do! x
Without reading the post, I already know how to reply to you. I just looked at the title. If a relationship has resulted or will result in anxiety then it’s not worth it. At the end of the day, it’s about what you need and how you feel-- so fuck what whoever thinks or wants because you have control over yourself.
I don’t blame it because I’m like, super weird 
I’m sorry for the long post but if you feel the same or smth pls advice me cuz I have no idea what the f am I doing 
ya know… but is he did mean something tell him you want to know him better maybe then one of you could ask the other on a date… I’m not a best at relationship advice but I try lmao
x