Okay so I don’t really know why I’m posting this here but hopefully someone will understand me because when I talked to my friends about it they were like- Eh? I don’t blame it because I’m like, super weird
So I’ve never been in a relationship before, my last crush was almost six years ago and I haven’t had a crush or something like that since then;-; I always say I really want a crush and when I read or write romance or see cute couples irl I’m like ohhh I want this as well. But when it comes to reality I’m super, super stressed from it. Last year a guy was interested in me and he asked me out, and I ignored him for more than four months because I didn’t know how to react and when he told me I thought I was going to cry. Every time someone mentioned it I felt sorta anoxious and stressed ;-; I told him no at the end because I wasn’t really interested in him and I was too scared of my reaction from the whole situation. ;-; I really have no idea why am I like this.
What triggered me to post this sh*t was today. I was sitting with my friends in the classroom and some guy stared at me for a moment and talked to his friend and it looked like he was saying I’m cute or other positive things about me because he smiled and I immediately turned my face away and I felt like I was going to cry again. I got really stressed and for a moment I felt like I prefer that he’ll say bad things about me instead of whatever he said to his friend.
I’m only sixteen tho and I have a whole life ahead of me and I don’t really want a relationship atm. But my reaction to these situations really bothers me and I wondered if I’m the only one who feels like this. Because I honestly feel super weird and I have absolutely no idea why it causes me so much stress I’m sorry for the long post but if you feel the same or smth pls advice me cuz I have no idea what the f am I doing