Hi! 
So, I’m planning on introducing a non-binary in my story and I got informed on every Web I could find, I just wanted to know if you identify as non-binary or are very familiar with someone who is, what clichés you hate about non-binary character, what things are represented wrongly and what thing should be portrait?
Any advice will be very well received! 
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Thank you 
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Hey! I’m honored that you’d mention me.
While I can give some general advice on writing non-binary character, I personally identify as a cis-female, therefore I can’t give you the personal point of view of a non-binary person.
I’ll be directly quoting things from this page:
- Non-binary is not to be confused with being intersex. Intersex people have anatomy or genes that don’t fit typical definitions of male and female. Non-binary may fit typical definitions of male and female, but their innate gender identity is something other than male or female.
- Use the right pronouns — and if your characters don’t know, which ones to use, make them ask about it. Normalize asking someone’s pronouns if you’re not sure.
- Don’t make other characters ask what their old name was. This can come across as disrespectful. Use the name they want to be used.
- While some non-binary people are okay with gender-specific pronouns, it doesn’t apply to all of them. Make sure to get the opinion of an actual non-binary person on their pronouns to make sure your representation is accurate.
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Thank you so so much!!
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Thanks for summoning me lolol
Hi! I identify as non-binary, and I’m happy that you decided to include a representative in your story! Here are just a few things that I think should be considered when portraying an NB character.
- Non-binary is not a diagnosis. Anyone can act and express themself however they want even if it is considered gender non-conforming, and the only one who can identify their gender is that person themself. It’s recommended not to jump to conclusions when meeting new people, and instead just ask their preferred pronouns.
- Some non-binary people use pronouns other than they/them. I myself am comfortable with either she/her or they/them. Again, it’s always best to ask the person their preference.
- You can be trans and non-binary at the same time. Being non-binary is freedom— freedom to love and accept the real you, which means its definition is not clumped into one stereotype. A non-binary person can identify themself however they feel comfortable with.
- Non-binary has no specific look. Some NB people like to express themselves through androgynous or gender-neutral appearance, but it doesn’t mean all NB people has to look gender-neutral. Non-binary is an identity, which is not linked to how a person should express themself outwardly.
- Non-binary does not equal eccentric. There are stereotypes about non-binary people whose appearance and/or bubbliness stand out, and while they exist, being non-binary does not at all force you to adopt a specific expression for your identity. Non-binary people are still humans with different tastes and personalities, and not every human likes to dye their hair a flashy color or dance crazily at the club.
- Not all non-binary people have gender dysphoria. Every NB person is different, and so are their stories. From my personal experience, I never really went through a “transition” from being cisgender to non-binary. I have always felt and expressed myself as gender non-conforming regardless of the confusion and anxiety I endured when I still identified as cisgender, and finally coming out as non-binary served as a validation of my identity. I’m comfortable with the body I was born with, as I am non-binary nonetheless.
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This helps sooo much, thanks a lot!!! 
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Speaking of pronouns, I’ve met multiple enby people at LGBTQ events and they’ve used pronouns like “xe/xer/xers” (pronounce as if it starts with “z”) and “ze/zim/zis” and also “Mx” title as apposed to “Ms” or “Mr”
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Yeah, I think the answers above me summed it up well. It’s really just like writing any other character. I suggest researching more about the different types of dysphoria (though not all enby people experiences it), different non-binary gender identities, and common terminology. Also consider the stereotypes! Not all non-binary people are white, young, skinny, afab people.
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Oh thank you, didn’t know that 
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Also don’t mistake non-binary with gender nonconformity! It’s annoying when so many people do it. 
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Thank you!! 
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Could you explain what’s nonconformity?? 
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Gender non conformity is when a person dresses in a way that’s not stereotypically how their gender usually dresses. So it’s when a man dresses feminine and when a female dresses masculine. Because non-binary people are not male nor female, and since there’s no non-binary look, non-binary people aren’t dressing in a way that is not stereotypical to their gender. I hope that makes sense.
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Oh okay, got it!! Thank you so much!
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Could I ask you a question if you’re comfortable with it??
If I was about to use “they/them” pronouns for my character, should I plural or singular in phrases? Like, if we are talking about one single person using they/them pronouns, should it be like “how are they doing?” or “how is they doing”?
Excuse my ignorance, English it’s not my first language and I’m not familiar with non-binary, I’m trying to learn as much as I can
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The singular “they” pronoun still adheres to the grammatical rule, so the former is correct. Here’s a screenshot I took from Merriam-Webster to give a better example:
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Oh great! Thank you so so much!!!
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