@Addivi101 - Here Comes Trouble
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Nice bedroom background
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Jack needs to have a capital letter when Ellie says “Did you forget I was dating jack?”
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And “You” needs to have a capital letter when Ruby responds since it was the start of a new sentence.
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I love the blue mannequins
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Not that I support violence, but I love how you used the scar in the outfit to show he hurt her
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I think you’ve said the f word too many times. It’s a limit of five swear words per episode
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Consider changing BG2’s look and name so she doesn’t look like a default character
Ok well… Since it was pretty short, it’s hard for me to really say much. I’m not sure what this story is actually about yet, but assuming you haven’t finished episode 1 yet, I’m sure you’ll explain it more to readers. I would suggest trying to add more choices though. There was two outfit ones, but some choice of dialogue and what the reader should say in a reply is probably a good idea to include too