Amberose's Live Thoughts on Your Stories

I’m so sorry! I didn’t even notice that I didn’t respond. I’m so sorry. I cannot express that more! I understand if you don’t wanna review my stories. It meant a lot to me when you did, I’m sorry I didn’t respond! I’m kind of new, I just started a few months ago. I never thought that it meant that much, I’m sorry!! I don’t even know why I’m making up excuses!

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I sent an apologie to that reviewer, I’m sorry, I’m bad at this stuff

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Sorry, I am being harsh because, well, it hurts. It hurts all of us reviewers to be ignored when we could have used that time on someone else’s story or to work on our own. If you scroll up to your Figures review and like my post, I will add your Clue story. But you should also look through and see if you have missed any other reviews you requested a few months ago too. You can do this by clicking on your own profile and looking at the notifications tab, where you can filter it to show mentions (when someone @'s you) and replies (when someone has replied to your comment).

And yes, I know you apologised to her. But you only apologised to her. Other people have given you reviews and you could have realised that they might have felt the same way as her and that you owed it to them to like and/or reply to them too.

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I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to use you or anything. I’m sorry

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Well thanks for apologising and explaining. I will be adding you to the wait list now

@DanDuck - i-Robin

  • Okay, wow! I love the way you’re using cinematic to introduce/show off characters but then returning to spotlight.

  • Robin having some type of phone on her arm? Very clever. Good way to indicate it’s in a futuristic setting.

  • So was I picking up on flirty vibes there between Allicah and Robin?

  • Okay, it felt a little short. I didn’t write down much for episode one. Though you left enough breadcrumbs that I would read on, but I still don’t know as much about the story as I expect after the first episode

  • Just noticed your intro lol, I missed it the first time. But it’s very on-theme and I like that.

  • I liked your mini game. I was curious in the lead up because of it being spotlight how you would do it. But timed choices was definitely the way

  • I have to be honest, I find it weird naming a character that isn’t CC-able, nor the main character… So I’m wondering if that character is important later on or something?

  • So… after meeting student number 2 that I name… Am I right to think all love interests I will be naming? Are they love interests? Lol :sweat_smile:

  • I think this is something on my end… but it’s zoomed in now and everything’s off? I can’t see characters or anything… But pretty sure this is a glitch on my end - it happens when Robin gets home

  • The zooms reset in episode 4, so idk what happened, but double check episode 3 just in case

  • If it isn’t necessary to board, then how is it a must?

So I really don’t have much to add. I thought there was a good amount of choices, the episodes were a bit too short imo, but ultimately the story did feel like it was still progressing. My only real “thing” is about naming those two students but not CC-ing them lol. Other than that, your story is a pretty great adventure one and it will be interesting to see where you take it

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Do you still want me to review your Clue story? You deleted your post so idk how to find it if you still do want me to

Maybe I should tone it down… a bit. It was pure admiration from Robin.

They were meant to be… LI but for some reason, I took away LI options.
And because of that, there’s a big loophole there which I haven’t got time to fix it yet, might consider to revamp it even.
And yeah, I definitely should fix it, thanks for the heads up. :")

Actually, one other person told me that too… It’s strange, I looked at the code and I wasn’t zooming or anything. Maybe I should consider having zoom reset there just in case then.

Definitely should fix this sentence lmao.


Thanks for pointing out the confusions. I’ll look into it soon. :')

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Hahahaha it clicked in the end. It just looked like mutual admiration from Allicah at one point so I thought maybe there was more to it.

Hahaha. Is this a case of your plans chancing after publishing? Coz been there, done that lol

I would recommend that then. It can’t hurt to have some insurance.

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I believe it’s at the party scene. I was trying to have Allicah play friendly though. LMAO. Kinda like the vibe where you know how a fan finally meets his/her idol, and then the idol is actually pretty nice and friendly (but perhaps Allicah is a bit over-friendly at some point).

YEAH. At some point I was like “Ehhhhhh, the LI scenes are so extra, and after all, they are humanoids, and perhaps there shouldn’t even be romantic in the first place”, so… :")
So yeah, basically it’s a pool of mess (slightly) right now until I fix it, which is gonna take me another month. TuT

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It is definitely not a mess hahahahah, don’t stress too much. As for Allicah, I think I thought that bacaise she used a flirt animation when talking once lol. Maybe if you just changed a few of her animations, you’d be able to make it feel more like an idol talking to a fan type of dynamic?

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Advices taken. Thanks again for your time invested in my story!
I appreciate every bit of words you mentioned earlier, Amber. :))

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Aww :slight_smile: I’m glad I could be of some assistance

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Hi there! Could you please do a review on my story? It’s not the best but that’s why I’m here. here is the link :slight_smile: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5702242260877312

Thank you in advance! <3

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Oh sorry. I still want one.
Title: Clue: The Bow

Author: London

Genre: Mystery

Style: Limelight

Number of Episodes: 4

link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5703527630700544

Description: You are playing as Beverly Davis. Beverly is the receptionist at the Chandelier Hotel in Los Angeles. What’s going to happen when strange thing start happening in the hotel? All because of a Bow?

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@writeslondon - Clue: The Bow

  • Oooh I like that you’ve set this in 1940

  • I think the B&W filter is really perfect for this vibe too

  • When Donna enters, I kinda see her shrinking from the right side. It doesn’t really look like she’s walking in from behind that wall

  • After Beverly gets the note, I chose to do what it said and then when the scene changed, it sorta look like she came up from the screen?

  • Lol, I died :rofl:

  • Not a fan of the super speed run when she followed him - I would change it to the walk_sneak animation to get the right look

  • Wow, I am making all the wrong choices

  • I’d take out the part about being sorry for the short episode - it’s not a bad thing and it wasn’t even that short anyway

  • I didn’t really write down anything for episode 2 because yeah it was a little short - but here’s the thing… If you think it’s too short, rather than apologizing for it, you should make it to your standards. If you don’t think it’s too short, don’t be sorry. It’s your story

  • When the suspects walk in and off the screen when looking at the journal, they do that shrinking and growing thing. It would look better if you spot them offscreen and have them “enter” from those points.

  • My main question now from episode 3 is how did Beverley work out those people were suspects? Since she’s who we are playing as I feel like that process could have been shown more

  • Oooh that kiss was random lol. Though I semi-get what Beverly’s saying through narration… It just felt like there was not much of a lead up to a kiss to me

  • When they stop kissing, Wayne’s still doing the kiss animation loop for a second longer

  • Oooh nice cliff hanger ending.

So yes, most of your episodes were really short, but overall it was a good story. I personally would have liked to seen more in line with that era… It started to feel a bit too modern at times, which can happen when the portal is lacking a variety of assets for you to use. But I think more attention to mannerisms can make up for what the portal lacks. I also think to tie in with the vibe, leave a filter on. Maybe not the B&W one, but if you’ve read Amber J’s stories, you might notice she uses a filter across the whole story and it really looks good for the mood. Good luck in the contest :slight_smile:

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Hey lovie, what’s the title of your story? Just need it so I can add you to the list :slight_smile:

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It’s The Dangerous Fight

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Thank you :slightly_smiling_face:

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@Abimations4 - Elementals

  • Damn, that intro! Just be wary that the MC is sometimes blocked when she’s talking - it happens when you do OTS shots sometimes and some animations have her tilt forward

  • Ah, I love how you introduced CC for the guys. I laughed at Storm’s quote because I skipped over the word “away” which made it a much more dirtier phrase :sweat_smile:

  • Essential oil isn’t essential - I know that’s not the exact line but you cracked me up :rofl:

  • When Phoenix carries “me” in to the house… They all look kinda big in comparison to the couches in the background. I’d recommend scaling them smaller…

  • And on that note, nice job making it look like MC is getting carried

  • Just a suggestion, but in the bedroom scene, Phoenix’s fire eyes don’t look convincing like they did in the first scene and I think maybe if you didn’t have the overlay at full opacity, it might help blend it to look more real.

  • Oooh that rock overlay!

  • After Phoenix says “she saw things she wasn’t supposed to see”, you need to reset your speechbubble

  • The rule about alcohol suddenly making humans be unable to forget about seeing their powers seems like a bit of a reach, but you know, fantasy needs rules, so I respect yours. Plus a world where alcohol strengthens your memory? Sounds nice to me

  • Oooh fancy portal

  • So when MC and Wren (who I chose) went through the portal, it paused for a sec and I saw really really small versions of them upside down in the portal… So you might want to fix that so they disappear straight away

  • The spotting of them all exiting the portal is spot on and also made me laugh

So… somewhere between episode 2 and 3 I kinda realised you’ve basically got a kidnapper story on your hands lol - I’m guessing they’re all love interests too, yeah? So this is Stockholm Syndrome but the kidnappers have powers based on the four elements. And weirdly, it sorta works… It’s kinda light hearted the way you’ve done it considering the kidnapping concept and I can see why this is different to a regular-kidnapping story - less problematic because they’re keeping her hostage to protect themselves not because they all want to smash her… But I feel like towards the end of episode 3, you sorta lost a bit of that unique fantasy twist that you created for this trope - the shopping scene sorta lost me. It just felt like all of a sudden MC forgot she was being held against her will and was all fine with the situation, which would maybe happen eventually, but probably not after just one day.

That being said, all I would really recommend is to add more of MC’s thoughts throughout so she can express that she still misses family and friends, that she still wants to return to regular life… Or if it’s not the case, inner thoughts of her saying that this situation is better than her regular life then :woman_shrugging: Just something to make it clear she knows this is still not a normal situation that she can adapt to over night, you know what I mean? As for everything else, you’re pretty sweet there. Directing was great, just a few scaling issues but ultimately it looks like you know what you’re doing haha

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