@Zey - Bio-Hysteria
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Okay, I really love the way you introduced CC into the story. It felt really on theme. There was only two issues- 1. You said if I was baffled to write “Amanda”, but then for the last name you wrote ‘baffles’ so I think that was a typo. The other issue might not actually be a big issue to you. Depends on how you look at it. Basically I selected “This is perfect” without changing anything and now I’m playing without a face
I do this a lot to test dressing games and so I did it with the CC. I’m sure not everyone will be as silly as me though, but I’m just saying it’s possible for people to play your story without even adding a face 
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Ah, so straight away I can see there’s a definite divide on the train scene. It’s amazing you can convey that just be clothing choices.
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I found the backstory quite interesting. You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it
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Love the way you got the blood to appear on Nash’s clothes during that fight
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Episode one was a great length, but you only had one choice from memory. It’s not so bad, but I noticed you’re entering the contest so if you have time or can think of places to add in more choices, it might be worth doing as I believe they do take into consideration how much choices affect the plot when it comes to judging.
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When the hologram appears in that first scene in episode 2, the woman is behind the couch (and Nash) for a beat, before she moves to the correct layer.
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Aww Roman and Nash are cute. I ship.
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The mission idea is cool. I’ll be keen to see how difficult it gets as the story progresses
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Oooh so was I kidnapped in the attack?
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Saw a light flickering when Nash pulls up to Odyr
That was cool -
Ooh. I was pleasantly surprised to see one of my choices already had an impact… Because now I am alone lol. But it’s what I deserve.
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I love how futuristic it felt getting dressed.
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The punching bag I caught a glimpse of didn’t quite rotate fast enough to look real… Unless you wanted it to look slow mo, I’d change the timing.
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There’s a typo: “I’Id”. It’s said by a character without a display name
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I am left feeling confused at the end of episode 3 but I feel like that was supposed to be that way, right?
Now you did have a few typos throughout that you may want to get a proofreader to go through and adjust for you. They didn’t distract from the plot, but I believe they count as a small change so you can fix them and it won’t disqualify you. Overall I found your story quite intriguing. Action is probably my least favourite genre, but this had enough thought provoking ideas to keep me personally interested so it’s a really good balance in my eyes 
Good luck in the contest!