@gisellec - Demigodess
Since I’ve already done a review for you, I’m sure I don’t need to express how I feel about author notes haha.
- Director (whether he’s important or not) looks too defaultish for my taste.
- Lol at your LGBTQ warning.
- I noticed these are the same splashes as your other story. Nothing wrong with that, although I always have fun making everything different for each of my stories, so I guess I’m a little surprised to see someone keep it the same.
- So since I vaguely know what this story is about, the opening scene is quite fitting I think.
- I feel like there’s a bit of an awkward pause between each character talking. I think it’s because you’re giving them animations once they’ve said their lines, so it uses up a beat. Make sure to use ‘&’ to prevent this.
- Christian asks for her name, but the teacher already said it when she was telling him where to sit.
- Hmmm, nice ending to episode 1. It’s intriguing.
- Lol, just noticed your note about the LL splashes… Although by the time you publish, you’d have them done anyway, right?
- The way Christian tells her she’s a demigod really bothered me. He was too chill. Tbh, that’s not your fault. It’s the walking talking animations. Quite frankly, they suck. You might want to consider changing that to a scene where they can stand and actually show accurate emotions.
- MC is very easily swayed. Me in real life being told I am a demigod would need a lot more persuading for me to believe it.
And that’s me basically up to date. It’s pretty good so far, it’s just the walking-talking scene I’d suggest changing. MC should kind of be freaking out at this point but she can’t because of the lack of emotions in the animations.