@azariasin - Thrill of the Hunt
This looks very different. I’m intrigued already… But also a little scared 
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That was a good thing to include over your splash about the warnings and about what you’ll include at the end… Had I not been reviewing though I actually might have clicked the exit, so I’m now a little nervous that this is going to be a bit much for me even.
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Noooooo an author’s note at the start?!
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Your CC has got me very intrigued for the in story descriptions and the art, I must say.
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As someone who doesn’t have instagram, I felt the screenshot sequence was rather long, but that’s neither here nor there.
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You’re directing has really impressed me so far and I’ve only just started. I like that you’ve kept the younger version of MC looking the same but younger. It’s sometimes overlooked in CC stories, so I imagine you really spent time making sure your script was perfect.
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For Jason’s slap, you might want to bring him forward a layer.
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The montage was pretty interesting. And I felt the crime scene with the woman was done well too, not too graphic, but I saw enough to put two and two together.
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Ok, I still hate author notes, but did laugh when MC enters and does her whole “what’s a stranger doing in my room” bit.
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Unknown needs to be brought forward a layer in the alley way scene.
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So I’m actually terrified of needles. So much so that the mention of one makes me feel light headed. Thank you for panning away from the scene and only mentioning it once and not narrating it or anything. (another review I did had a whole scene explaining someone getting stitched up and I really struggled with that lol)
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Gah, after all that, now you’re showing me a close up of one?
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Btw, I love that you haven’t used the standard skeleton mask for your “bad guy”
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Ayo, I love that use of spotlight! I do that in my stories too.
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Oh I love this scene with the school boys. Very funny.
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Uh oh… So the description of Ruben I’m getting is wrong… It saying long black hair but my version has short brown hair… What coding did you use for this?
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There first meeting was done very well. I was worried it would be an insta-love case, but I felt there was a great amount of tension build up first, so yay!
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I liked how you introduced all the other characters, and I especially love the captain.
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It’s so trippy to see Ruben’s last name because it’s so close to my name haha
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I was a little surprised they were about to hook up at work, but then I was kind of expecting someone to walk in on them,haha. It was a good funny moment.
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A minor thing that is just me being picky… Change the display name of your BG charcaters so it’s not BGCOP7 who’s worried about his sick mother
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Am I really still only on episode 1?
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Showing the officers reactions to the video instead of the video was such a creative way to illustrate what’s happening.
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I seriously cannot believe that was one episode. You had so many minor cliff hangers where I thought it would end. It actually feels like I’ve just been watching a TV show and all the other cliff hangers were for the ad breaks or something!
Jokes aside, I’m both impressed and worried at the length. Don’t get me wrong, having enough content is great, but such long episodes can affect your retention rating (although if you don’t care about this, that’s totally fine), since people don’t always have the time to read something so long in one sitting (I’m actually thinking this might take me over a week to read 
). You could have honestly ended that episode so many times, and I would have still been interested enough to read on, so your extra long length was not necessary but is still appreciated. I bet you never get fanmail saying someone wasted a pass lol -
Minor layering issue in episode 2 at the very beginning with the captain and Angelo during the phone call.
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Also, beware of phone call looping animations - unknown was talking while MC still looked like she was talking.
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Ugh why did this plot have to so heavily rely on my biggest fear??
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Not a major thing, just a pet peeve, but with this scene, the background include a drum barrel thing and the way you’ve scaled victim number 1 and unknown makes them look like giants compared to it.
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What an interesting first day on the job for Ruben lol!
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So I really like how you’ve tied in the backstory to the main crime in this story
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I normally don’t turn my sound up for stories, but I do right now and have to give your props for those voices sounds you had playing. Attention to detail!
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I’m being nit-picky now, I know, but when Gabe and MC talk privately in the kitchen, they look too short compared to the cupboards.
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This is such an intriguing plot - which I think I understand, but I’m also half expecting a massive plot twist (or several) that I don’t see coming as well. But at this point, this whole trauma injecting serum that causes them to kill themselves is kind of genius
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Aha, I was wondering if the blue and pink haired boys were going to link back
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Do not think for a second that Ruben taking selfies in the background has gone unnoticed! HAHAAHAHA
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And I’m crying of laughter at Ruben narration of basically how much he wants her while she does every angry animation that ink has available.
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Ayo, finally MC’s smart enough to lock the door
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Woah… Did not see Jenny coming - I’m glad there was a twist like that. Good representation, you know.
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I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but I love what you name your outfits
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Yay, your BG characters at the club actually look like they’re dressed for the club!
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“I have a feeling” “Can’t you wait until your home” HAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m laughing so much!
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Oh, I thought the hand over the mouth would be the cliff-hanger ending… But it was only what I’m calling the commercial break cliff hanger… So there must be something even more dramatic for the end.
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Oooh it’s all linking up now (these comments probably are making no sense right now unless your following along in your script, sorry!) - so Grunts’ tell Alina, who tells the fake owner… Smart. You’re very good at connecting the dots.
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Easter egg: old spice hahaha
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Gah, I haven’t typed anything in ages because I’ve been so engrossed in it, but need to state this; You utilize the spotlight format very well (I’m up to Ruben flashback while he tells MC) - it really enhances your story telling.
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I’m pretty sue this is just a glitch on my phone, but going to tell you about it anyway for the laughs - At the park scene, Ruben’s mum’s shirt DISAPPEARS. I took a screen shot too lol
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AHH! Then when we come back to the present day, Ruben’s wearing no pants! I really think this is just a glitch with my device though, so don’t worry…
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Ok, so this next one I’m not sure if it’s the glitch or if you intentionally have Ruben butt naked when he’s explaining his past affairs…?
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The background from the bar didn’t change for the next part of the flashback…? (This could also be a glitch, I don’t know what’s happening with my app right now)
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Ruben’s a bit of an idiot if he thought they’d go to work together… I’m sure MC hadn’t brought a fresh set of clothes, you know…
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I had a feeling this would tie into MC’s dad somehow… And I’m betting Ruben’s dad will make an appearance somehow some way.
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I love that your police station is actually full with people all the time.
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Um, I’m totally on Kat’s side here, just saying.
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Aw they’re becoming roomies?! Cute
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I feel like you’ve made it look like the captain was getting Ruben in trouble for their affair, but I bet he’s actually telling him about Roman, hmm…
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Hey the description of Ruben is correct now! I’m not sure what happened in episode 1 that was describing him differently
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I’m not a huge fan of using the bar overlay as a desk but I like that you thought outside the box anyway
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Loving this laptop overlay scene.
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So I’m up to episode 8 and… since starting this thread with over 40 passes I am now officially left with 0! So I will end the review here… Unless you really want me to do the final four (though I feel like I’m actually under-qualified for your story anyway - you’re writing it way above my level) ahaha. I will definitely be continuing this one. Have already added it to my recommendations shelf.
TL;DR
This story is everything- Drama, Crime, Romance. Your two main characters have great chemistry. Probably one of the best I’ve seen on episode. You’ve got fantastic directing, use overlays, custom backgrounds, text effects, sound, the works! And you handle the whole plot with a great level of maturity. Your episodes are quite lengthy - especially that first one. It’s up to you whether you think that’s a good or bad thing, I think it’s great but it’s also taken me over a week to read it and I’m still not even up to date. Lol. You really had me on the edge of my seat basically this entire time! There were very few issues, but I pointed out all the ones I saw (description of Ruben, a few layering issues were the main ones and idk if it matters to you, but consider changing the display names for background/minor characters so that your readers don’t see numbers), but they definitely do not take away from how amazing this is.
Questions I have for you...
Just purely out of curiosity…
- How long did it take you to write this?/How long have you been working on this?
- How many lines is an average episode for you?
- Where did you come up with the title?
- How long has this actually been published for?