@ab.creates Piece of Me Missing
Hi Aimee and Jade,
- I’m going to start off by saying I hate all author notes. This is totally my own opinion, but if you guys really want to have an author’s note, move it to the end instead of having it at the beginning.
- It’s starting off nice, well paced. You’ve got a good use of text effects going. You’ve got a cool bed overlay. And most importantly you spell mum the correct way! Yay!
- I like the motif of the necklace.
- The way you zoom over Megan, made me think her Dad was checking her out! Idk if there’s a less pervy way to do that, but yeah, had me a little freaked our for a sec.
- Hmm, I’m getting “gang story:” vibes from the way the dad said he had a big job for her, which I’ll be honest is not my favorite genre.
- It was cool you added a mini test in your episode.
- The diary entry was a nice touch.
*Episode 1 was a little short, but I felt it still set up the story well enough. - That was a nice, but cruel trick you played with the outfit choice at the beginning or episode 2.
- I get kind of bored from zooming over every outfit choice. If you want to show all angles of an outfit, can I recommend doing something similar to what The Baby Project did? There’s showed the whole outfit, but it was also done quickly.
- I do like that you establish a difference between both twins by their outfit options.
- Be wary of your background characters looking too much like the default ones. It makes a huge difference to change their outfits and/or facial features.
- And also make sure you animate them. Especially at the party. They should be having fun and dancing.
- I actually did not see that twist of Mia getting kidnapped instead of Megan.
- Wait, wait, wait… So Mia’s boyfriend works for Megan’s dad? So he knows that they’re twins and doesn’t tell either of them?
- Wow, I’m impressed with your overlays during all this crying!
- The explosion was on point!
- I’m surprised this doesn’t have too many reads yet. Whilst gang stories are not my thing, I know they’re very popular on episode and the way you guys have executed it is flawless. There hasn’t been any spelling errors, no layering errors, you’ve got a decent episode length going. Even now, you’ve got an art scene.
- Woah I did not see that coming with the mum! And I feel like I should have, but I really had no idea.
- I’m going to leave the review here because I really don’t much else to add. My two suggestions for this story is to make your background characters look less default, and change up the zooming thing you do with outfit choices. Everything else was perfectly fine.