@Sunset_Shimmer - The Story of Avalon
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So clever for you to add a disclaimer that the directing might not be compatible with tablets! I was only just told the other day that things were getting cut off in m own story when read on tablets lol
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The fact that the prince is one of the MC’s is intriguing. I do like reading from male POV.
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hahaha. nice horse.
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There was a little moment whee the gates background popped up before the guards. Try spotting the guards with & instead of @ then have your transtion:
&GUARD1 spot XYZ
&GUARD2 spot XYZ
@transition -
I’d recommend some close up zooms when MC and Cathleen see their parents, if only because Cathleen looks high as a kite being stuck in that one position. So some close ups of the characters talking will make that hidden.
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The fairy flashback was cool. And I like that you’ve used the tattoos and new LL features. Towards the end, there was a small problem with Moonbeam and Hazel standing on top of each other, I think you meant to have Moonbeam walks to screen left? And then when Novus enters, he’s not visible on screen.
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Episode 1 was a great length, and for the record I haven’t noticed any grammar mistakes of overuse of ‘Of course’, ‘But’, ‘And’, or ‘However’
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Episode 2 starts and I’m actually surprised to see this is a short story… With your description, I was anticipating at least a 10 episodes story, so… I’m interested to see how you plan to pull this off as a short.
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The subtle way you turned the shopping for one dress into choosing between three dresses felt very natural.
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I’m guessing you have plans to put something behind the mirrors when doing Marabella’s hair and make up?
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Just so you know, same thing with the guards at the beginning of the ball, they pop in after the transition when they should be placed before it.
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I also like the chimes you play with the transitions.
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Lol! She got changed in the bushes
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Whoever the BG character is that’s talking to Cathleen needs to move back a few layers.
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And Rowena’s little group look scaled a little too bog for where they are standing. Use the curtains for reference wen placing them and imagine what size they are in comparison to the curtains.
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Good spot to end episode 2. Rowena makes me laugh.
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So I read on to episode 3, but I think you’re still working on it since Rowena is finding the dress again which happened in episode 2
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Randolph and Quentin
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Ooh that got violent very quickly! Poor Marabella
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I liked the glimpse we got of the pirate (I’d been waiting for her since I read the description)
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The barrel idea made me laugh
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I enjoyed watching the prince basically interview everyone LOL
I wouldn’t be able to tell you which version to pick honestly… Both have pros and cons. LL had better costumes for the fairies (especially males), ink had better outfit for the king, ink has males who aren’t shorter than females by default, but LL has a lot more options within CC… so yeah… I really don’t know 
I know I wasn’t helpful there, but I quite enjoyed reading it so keep me posted on when you publish whichever version you do because I’d like to read on.