@AdyElly - Fallen Angel
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Couple of things I want to just say I love right off the bat: no author note, I’m thrilled. I also love this kind of intro because MC is about to get married. I feel like majority of Episode stories end with a marriage (I guess because most stories are all about the chase), but starting off with a wedding stands out to me and I’m interested to see what goes wrong (since I’m guessing it’s not going to go off without a hitch or else why would this be in the drama genre, lol)
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I liked the way you organised your hair choices, because it will make it so easy for readers to find what they’re looking for.
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Your spotting with Brandon’s family is almost perfect, just when Brandon leaves, it looks like he walks on the coffee table lol
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I love the dedication you put into that montage to change Mal’s hair. That’s something I’ve always been far too lazy to do even though I always appreciate when other people go the extra mile to do it.
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I know I’ve only started this story, but the twins are my favourites! And I really like how I can tell they’re twins even though you’ve given them different hair styles.
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Um… She’s leaving the dress choice pretty last minute isn’t she? HAHAHA, just kidding though, because I can see you’ve included it that way so the readers get a choice. I like how you’ve set up this choice too.
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That random mention of her dad’s best friend makes me think he might be up to something. I expect him to pop into the story soon.
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Woah, what the heck? Did she get shot?! EDIT: A bomb? A fire?
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I can only imagine the patience you must have had to spot all those letters/overlays and animations haha.
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They’re ALL dead??? I’m guessing Hector is er dad’s best friend?
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Mal recovered quickly! She’s already up and ready to catch the killer. At least Hector is able to be the voice of reason.
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So… did everyone really die? The twins? They’re gone?
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Your montages are great, you’re spotting is on point and you really go all out by changing hair styles and outfits.
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Did Mal say “I’ve got nothing left to live for” out loud? I thought it was a narration bubble, but then Hector came in and replied as if he heard it, so maybe I tapped too quickly, whoopsie.
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You probably know I’m not an author-note lover, but I think that was a nice thing you added at the end of episode 2, so good job. Also, not being able to change the past? That was deep AF!
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I hope Hector doesn’t turn out to be a love interest…
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Minor typo - “this house is on her name” - on should either be “in” or “under”.
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I am thinking though… why would they be treated as suspects anyway? Mal wouldn’t because she was a target… I may be looking into this too much, but Hector could very well be a suspect… I don’t trust him.
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“You can be around me only if you throw this ugly clothes” - Did you mean throw away these ugly clothes?
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Maria changed clothes before going shopping? Or…? I put her in the stripey dress, but now she’s in the pink top and shorts.
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Mal’s worried about trusting Maria? Lol, I’m still worried about Hector.
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I’ve been wondering why she keeps calling the body guards monkeys… Since they haven’t done anything to make them come across as monkeys.
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Oh yes, I was hoping you’d make a duplicate character to change their names to Sofia and Matteo.
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Oh my, don’t even get me started on the overlays in the living room. That stair case? Amazing! Great directing.
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Adam = Love interest. So I don’t need to worry about Hector in terms of that…
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“I need a cold shower” LOL
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Your first choice in episode 5 has a lol typo. You say “change this clothes” but it should be “change these clothes”.
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And also… “Wait me here”… Did you forget to add the word “for”? - wait for me here.
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The ghosts look sooooo cool
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You’ve got a great hang of overlays. I always think bruise overlays sometimes look tacky because they don’t always fit on the face with every animation, but you’ve got it mastered.
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Scene in the park, two things: one- the typing animation was a genius move. Two- Sofia says “someone who regret decision to come here” but it should be “someone who regrets their decision to come here”.
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Your club scene looked great. I loved all the background characters.
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I’m not sure if this is a coincidence… But I feel like I’ve seen Kim as a BG character a lot… So I’m not trusting her.
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The shopping bags! OMG! Love!
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Hmmm… mysterious no name entering… Another love interest? I don’t know.
You’ve really caught my attention with this story. There’s a great balance between the mystery side of it and the drama side. It’s great, I don’t really have much to say other than that… I am curious where the title came from? Is it going to be explained more as the story progresses?