@XxAlphaBetaxX - Fantastical: Welcome to the Amazon Forest
Ok, I got really excited to see there’s three endings. Keen to see where I end up. And I actually had this on my list to read before I started doing reviews so finally I’m up to it!
-
Here’s my actual, word-for-word thoughts holy shit! dat intro…. Animated intros are my weakness! Like wow, we’re starting off with a bang. I like you fade to green because I feel like that suits the theme. The music is on point, and you only take a quick second to explain how choices work, which is all that was needed. Dare I say, perfect intro.
-
I had to laugh at the reader message to pretend it was a Greek book. For all the effort you went to for other overlays and custom backgrounds, I feel that the readers message was somewhat an intentional joke. Also laughed at the needs comment and Mr Jones asking what he’s been doing to the plants
-
I loved your montage with Khalil annoying Mr Jones. That was done really well.
-
I really thought you did your scene with the flower really well!
-
And how you animate that squirrel! I mean I see it moving up and down as well as across. That must have taken ages!
-
I felt episode 1 was a little short, but that might just be me because I got interrupted in the middle and didn’t come back for like an hour. But if it’s not just me, and it is on the short side, that’s apparently a tactic for contests so I guess it’s not bad either way.
-
Episode 2 is giving me major Futurama vibes. If you watched the show, you’d know what episode I’m talking about.
-
I love how Khalil appears smaller than all the women. It gives them that fantasy vibe, like we’re in a whole other world.
-
Your story is exactly what I was hoping to see when first saw the announcement for the fantastical contest.
-
And I love this pisces thing Kahlil keeps relying on. Like somehow announcing his zodiac sign is going to help him. Lol. But it’s very good characterization to give him that nervous twitch.
-
KH3? Was his display named not changed? I’m assuming it’s Khalil in a flashback.
-
Your juxtaposition between Penelope’s in the flashbacks was great. You didn’t give away too much, but enough for me to make specualtions about what happened.
-
Khalil reacting to the flowers (as a result of me choosing to get fresh air) was me reacting to your overlays. I literally said “the flowers are SPINNING!” and then the next line was exactly what I said.
-
I thought I should let you know the difference between point choices is a little tricky. Dark choice boxes only look dark next to lighter boxes. When it’s two dark or two light boxes, I honestly have no clue what is what. Gold boxes might work better - something to consider changing for once the contest is over.
-
Going to make a few more comparisons… Your love triangle between the two fantasy world Love Interests is set up like an episode official story (the good ones, not the ones when the relationships are forced). I also see a bit of H&V contest winner The Jungle by Ames in this. I say that because the two love interest in this fantasy world seem to have a certain distaste towards each other, but now I realise you have similar settings too! Anyway, these are like great things to be compared to. Good job
-
“You scared me. I could have dropped my bread” hahahaha. It’s like he’s never heard of the 3 second rule!
-
There’s actually a lot of humorous moments in this I’m noticing. “We’re gonna die. We’re gonna die. We’re gonna die” for example.
-
Also I forgot to say before when I noticed, but the character names seem so fantasyish. I’m wondering if they have a kind of meaning or were they just random?
-
So I’ve reached the end and I’m actually really craving more. That was really well done.
-
I have a couple questions: so I see there is a couple in this fantasy world (I’m sorry I can’t remember and/or spell what you named it), which surprised me because I was assuming it was a female only world… So, if you can tell me without giving away spoilers, is this you touching on gender roles and doing a role reversal to, you know, make your readers think? That’s my main question, actually. Everything else was honestly great. Good luck in the contest, I hope you do well because I can see how hard you worked on it and I believe it’s worth it.