Amberose's Live Thoughts on Your Stories

@fcukforcookies - Pine Hollow: Hex of the Three

  • I don’t know why the first thing I did was click navigation to see how many scenes you had, it’s something I do whenever I beta read stories because it makes me feel powerful… Anyway, fun fact: I know what you originally called this story :laughing: Prophecy of the Three

  • Excuse my French, but holy fuck ! Dat intro! I saw your rain hack on that other thread, but it looks even better now seeing it used.

  • I don’t even feel worthy of reading this and I’m like 30 seconds in. Just… so.much.advancedness.

  • The figures, the opening credits, just the vibe. It feels like I’m watching a movie.

  • Ok, so this is not really anything I think you should change because I don’t think there’s that many people out there like me who do this, but whenever people having a dressing game with “done” at the bottom of their options, I’m always inclined to click it before getting changed. I have character walking around in towels all the time. I was soooooooooo tempted to do that with your story, but I resisted. Anyway, just something to keep in mind, I don’t think it’s a big deal though. If people are like me, they’re not going to complain about it because it’s something our idiot selves chose to do.

  • Ooh actually, maybe do change that dressing game because I checked the counters (another great thing about beta reading) and I’ve just seen that I’ve “gained” every outfit and every hairstyle. If you’re doing that to remember choices for future scenes, you’ll have to give every option an “are you sure” choice and put the gain in the “yes” bracket.

  • Oh my, that was quite a long new-student introduction hahahaha. Made me laugh.

  • …Witchcraft? Yes, please.

  • I love the desperate housewives vibe I get from Beatrice. She seems like she’ll be the town gossip.

  • I’m also just noticing we need some more mum-pants

  • The reader message looks extra cool with the colours. I think most people don’t know that you can use text effects in the toasters just yet.

  • Ok, I’m panicking! What do I pick? WHAT DO I PICK?!

  • Also, ingage? Is that supposed to be engage? I guess I’ll pick walk away due to the typo. That’s my logic. Lol

  • Locker scene contains so many good insults hahaha. I loved how Taylor threw Katarina against the locker.

  • Shady mayor? Interesting… I’m wondering what his relationship with Beatrice is.

  • Omg omg omg omg that flashback! The whole asthetic of that scene is just so physically appealing. Like the filter seems to enhance the black hair and white dresses.

  • Behind the scenes? So innovative! Like I can’t even be mad that it’s technically an author note because so clever and creative and I was wondering about half of these things.

Also

Who? Me? :face_with_hand_over_mouth: But seriously, that’s so sweet. I’m really honoured you would give me this shoutout

  • One thing you didn’t add in there which I’m wondering about is Katarina’s nationality. She keeps saying “aye” so I was wondering if she was Scottish?

  • Was going to ask about the shirtless kid but lol, Ms Wang beat me to it.

  • Abigail and Katarina on the bench look like they’re scaled a little too big when it’s zoomed out enough. I think it’s because Katarina’s knees are hanging too far out. But, when the zoom is closer up on their individual faces, it does look properly scaled in comparison to the bleachers in the background. Did I just over complicate things? YES

  • I’m asking this, even though I’m fairly sure of the answer, but the art class… I’m guessing you did all the students paintings, right? I’m a fan of Blake’s! :wink:

  • Shart, lol.

  • Katarina looks so relatable in class while Ms Summers is talking, meanwhile that idiot behind her looks far too excited. My guess is he’s on drugs? Amirite? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

  • Oooh, what’s going on now? Is she just remembering or hallucinating? I like the look of this scene, you’ve somehow made it look like the “memory” has a filter on it, but yet Katarina is still separate from it. It looks like she’s seeing what we’re seeing.

  • And now in the hallway, it’s the same effect but with a dark filter… Well, not a filter… I’m guessing an overlay? And you’re changing the opacity. Doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s working!

  • “Don’t worry, it’s just blood”.I repeat… “Don’t worry, it’s just blood” Hmm, ok. Seems legit :joy:

  • And now he’s kissing her? Hahahaha what the heck is going on?

  • I’m done. Selina shows up and I’m just done. I’m not worthy enough to read… Oooh, creepy hand!

  • OH! You little sneaky, I see what you did there with a dream… You really had me going there.

  • Girl. you’re spotting in the cafeteria is on point.

  • I know I said I was done before, but now I mean it… You seriously went to all the effort to create a speechbubble just so you can have them speak at the same time? I mean, I know it might not seem like that big of a deal, but it is. It’s just that level of attention to detail that I can appreciate.

  • Forgot to mention before I love the mirror in Katarina’s bedroom. The pictures hanging over it is again, amazing attention to detail.

  • It looks sooooo realistic when Katarina and Abigail walk down those stairs.

  • Art scenes aren’t really my thing, but I can’t get passed how realistic-y and limelight-y Alexander’s clothes look!

  • …Vampires? :smirk:

  • I’m really loving these 1689 scenes

  • It’s nice you updated the behind the scenes section. Especially with Katarina’s dream tab. I don’t think I picked up on all the hints though, lol.

  • Not that I was going to, but I see you put the end of episode 2 on a loop to stop me from continuing…Smart choice as I’ve mentioned before I am a rebel… BUT… You know I can just get to episode 3 if I just click on the navigation button, right? :smiling_imp:

Also worth noting, I did actually watch with sound up (rare for me, but you said it was important so I did it) and I found everything perfectly timed.

And I agree with everything you’ve said here. You’ve not only outdone yourself, but you’ve paved a nice path for a Pine Hollows series. It’s going to be epic…

Just remember to check the gains with the dressing game, because yeah, when I clicked on the flags, it had every hair and outfit option highlighted and I’m not sure if you had plans for that or not…

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