Amberose's Live Thoughts on Your Stories

truestory :smiley: I will, thank you :slight_smile:

Oh, and @amberose when you have time, you might want to check that first dressing game, I fixed it (specifically for badasses like you lol). Hint try to go in your PJ’s more than once.

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This is one of my fave stories!! :joy::tired_face:. I have it in my recommendations list!! I’m a hugeee fan!

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Thank you!! I’m glad :relieved::blue_heart:

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Oooh, I forgot to reply to this! I caught up and omigod, you’re directing has improved so much! The horses and limb overlays looked great

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Thanks hon did you like the love scene​:joy::joy::joy:

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@Januva - College Days: Behind Closed Doors

Before I start, just wanted to let you know that this was actually on my list before you requested here. Lol :slightly_smiling_face:

  • Hehehe, what stereotypical posh British accent? Haha, I totally am not going to imagine Naomi with a posh accent now, no way :wink:

  • Atleast should be “at least” (this is a change you can make without it affecting the contest btw)

  • Oh wow, that was such a perfect way to tie in the intro… Because I totally was thinking that she was starting to ramble a bit, and I was kinda like “what’s the relevance of the shower and talking with mum if we didn’t hear what they said?” but now I get it and I have to say I quite like that for an intro.

  • Excuse me, what? Naomi would rather shave her hair than eyebrows???

  • Oh, her reasoning actually makes sense. My initial shock has subsided.

  • That was a pretty creative way to include a text input style question, although Naomi didn’t say my explanation, instead she said “EXPLAIN”. I’m not sure if that’s because my explanation was just too long, or what.

  • Iris = lol

  • Ohhh the note in the locker scene looked cool, I love that you’ve used your own backgrounds for it.

  • Of course now I want to know more about Jacob haha.

  • I think it was a little short for an episode, but a perfect length for a contest entry, if that makes sense.

  • I’ve been loving your use of text effects and filters.

  • The lunch splash was cute.

  • Cora makes me laugh. The fact that she asks about the locker before the envelope is hilarious

  • Nice OTS shots

  • The blurred background looks so cool. It’s such a great way to convey how Naomi must be feeling.

  • Oh god, there father is awful.

  • My face is like this when Naomi gets all angry :scream: Like, wow! Shit just got real.

  • Kinda weird advice from the receptionst, but it made me laugh. I feel like this is a bit of a drama/comedy story.

  • “I smell something fishy” @amberose is spits_out_drink.

  • I feel like Naomi is going to regret not investigating straight away ahahaha.

  • Oooh those fades and that one hour later overlays looked fancy!

  • Hahaha, the swim animation looks great.

  • I really like and appreciate that you have been changing Naomi’s hair in dreams/flashback’s. It feels real.

  • This is a dream, right? Naomi didn’t really kill anyone, right? :sweat_smile:

  • The dad looks extra creepy without a nose hahaha. I also think that was a much longer episode than the first, but you left it at a good cliff hanger.

  • The missing girl poster looks awesome, and I literally did a jaw drop because I thought it would be Cora, not Iris! Idk why, I guess there was signs pointing to it being Iris but for some reason I just thought Cora would be the first to go lol

  • Still loving those blurred backgrounds…

  • I feel like the posters are an omen of some sort…

  • I noticed that your background characters are all wearing default background character outfits. Not really a big issue, I’m just kinda pedantic about changing them up to make them look unique.

  • OMG I don’t trust the Dean.

  • I really liked the choice of what to help out with - I chose decorations btw. It just felt like the type of choice that could possibly lead to different outcomes.

  • Oh no! I timed choice! Panic!

  • Ooh, I liked what you did there by swapping out the background but still keeping the zoom on Cora.

  • Another nice cliff hanger for episode 3!

So other than those two spellings of “atleast”, I really didn’t spot any errors. I think my only suggestion is to mix up some of the BG characters’ outfits to keep them all looking unique. You’ve done a great job at incorporating nearly every feature Episode has to offer too (overlays, timed choices, filters, text effects) and I think overall this is a nice balance between comedy and drama. Also, I get the feeling that based of your story description, Iris won’t be the only one to go missing, so it will be interesting to see where that leads.

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Just a little quick note before I start for @Mehasels and @epy.kalea to explain why my thread is about to get the order all out of whack. Since Santa’s Naughty List has 13 episodes and @epy.kalea’s is unpublished and only has 2.5 episodes, I will be starting the former literally right now, but will read and post the latter while I’m waiting for passes to reload for former.

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That sounds fun. :sweat_smile: Take your time girl.

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Cora is surely here to stay, and Iris won’t be the last to go. The poster definitely is an omen. Not saying anything else :eyes:

But thank you so much for reading my story! That EXPLAIN was an error I forgot to fix! Gahd dang it! And I’ll change the spelling. Thank you so much!

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@epy.kalea - Sinfully Yours

I want to start by saying ugh, the cover is just like, super pretty! I’m jealous.

  • I think I’ve mentioned before that I love stories about like, angels or the afterlife, or just stories that explore those kind of themes, so I’m really hyped now seeing all these backgrounds. And I love how your splashes sort of tie in with the themes.

  • That was really nice spotting in that throne scene.

  • I love reading unpublished stories because I can be really nosey and so after some sleuthing, I can already tell you must have been working on this for a while since the the navigator thinks your OG story was named Demi hahahaha.

  • When Evangeline exits to go and get dressed, she grows a little too much, which I’m guessing is because you have her exit right instead of having her walk to a spot of screen. It’s only something small, so doesn’t necessarily need to be changed, but it will make it look a little more realistic.

  • Wait, that traffic light! How did you get the looping background to stop at exactly the right moment for the traffic light! Woah.

  • Something really small that I appreciate you’ve included is the overlays to the car crash scene. It looks kinda smokey and the rain really sets the tone.

  • Does the mother have braces? Lol.

  • You should probably scale the cars a bit larger, just for when Evangeline checks out the boot (that might be Aussie slang. If you’re American, I think you call it the “trunk”). If you imagine where their legs are, it looks as if the car could be used as a step ladder. Try bringing the scale up so it looks like the boot/trunk is inline with her waist.

  • Your art scene is pretty cute. I almost feel kinda disappointed seeing Lucifer in limelight form now because the art version of him looked better hahaha.

  • I knew as soon as I picked that choice, he was going to say “you think I’m handsome?” And I’m pleased I was right.

  • The background character with pink hair in the library slid into place. You want to have her enter THEN do the thinking animation after she’d in place.

  • Pink haired girl is you, right?

  • Damn, the beginning of episode 2 :open_mouth: Amazing!

  • Loving that phone background

  • Wow, Grace is me when I’m a work.

  • Ok, that push was random but made me laugh.

  • Training montage was nice.

  • I loveeeeee Lucifer’s face after he tells her no romantic relationships in the work place. It’s my favourite animation atm.

  • Ev says that Lilith has a perfect nose but it’s the same as Ev’s. Lol.

  • Spotlight? Hmm, unpopular opinion but I actually quite liked that change. It saved the awkwardness of having a character be frozen while the other talked.

  • It’s not really a big deal, but not having Ev’s clothes in that art scene match what I chose feels a little weird. I wouldn’t have the clothing choice that morning and instead just have her wear the first option so it matches.

  • Lucifer’s smirk in the art scene gives me the creeps!

  • I think this is the first time I’ve seen a pan of Ev’s place and wow! I normally don’t care about backgrounds, but that is one nice crib.

  • Just be wary of Aspen when he’s sitting on the floor talking… It’s a looping animation, so you’ll want to have him do a sitting idle animation when the girls are talking.

  • Bahaha, Aspen’s the only one who clued in to him being the devil.

  • Episode 3 has a different intro? It says Lucifer instead of Sinfully Yours :thinking:

  • In Episode 3 when they’re at the library, you may want to spot Ev’s speechbubble because it’s covering her face.

  • Two years, five months and 15 daysssss?!?! Yikes. How old is Ev again?

  • Sophia is right! And I’m clearly nothing like Ev hahahaha

  • With the OTS shots, I think the person facing rear is positioned a little to far down on the screen. Makes them look more like a short-ass haha

  • That outfit reveal was niceeeeee. Evangline looks super tall in comparison to Sophia, but I’m loving her personal cheer.

  • All three of them look rather tall compared to the background characters, come to think of it.

  • The club is so full it makes me want to cry and cheer at the same time.

  • I love the crowd moving in the background.

  • When it goes to the flashback to the first day, Ev’s wearing a different outfit to the one I chose.

  • Hahahaa porn virus. The overlays for that were creative.

  • Is it just me or has the same song been playing for quite some time now?

  • Oh, now I’m thinking Sophia is supposed to be shorter, right? And I just haven’t noticed until now.

  • Outside the club, Lucifer gets stuck on a talking loop.

Pretty sure I’ve caught up to where you’re up to in terms of directing so I’ll end it here. It’s a very engaging story I must say. I really like that there’s tension between Lucifer and Ev but it’s still paced well. If you continue like that, then I can definitely see how it can reach 30 episodes. I’m also really intrigued to find out what’s up with Ev’s mind reading thing haha. I actually can’t wait until you publish so I can put this one straight on my recommended shelf.

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OMG. Haha. You figure me out. :joy: Demi Lovato. I totally forgot about that. But yeah! I COULDNT FIND A MATCHING ANIMATION FOR GABRIEL SITTING ON THE FLOOR AND THE MOM TALKING WHILE SAD AND DYING. :joy::joy::joy: If you know of any, LMK. :sob: I haven’t fixed speech bubbles and music and ending animations on episode 3 yet, soooooo…that answers that part. :joy: I should’ve told you that. Sorry.

But thank you sooooo much for reviewing it for me! I’ve had other people review it and they were too nice to give me something I guess. This was the best review yet. And damn, I thought I had the outfit choices down. :sob::sob::sob::sob: I’m so glad you reviewed it before I published it. :heart:

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@Mehasels Santa’s Naughty List

No joke, this has been on my read list for AGES! and ironically, being busy with reviews is what has stopped me from actually starting it.

  • Socks with sandals? Amberose exits story

  • Santa is not a love interest? Hahaha, should I be concerned that you have to mention that? :sweat_smile:

  • Woah, what am I even looking at right now? Like seriously? Is this like a custom background that you’ve looped and then an overlay? I can’t even process, but it looks cool.

  • “Genies, Werewolves, Fairies, And as much hotties…” - take away the comma before ‘and’ and also change it to a lower case ‘a’.

  • Similar thing in the next line - take away the comma before ‘with’ and change it to a lower case ‘w’

  • This has got to be my favourite set of background characters. Especially that elf lol.

  • The simplicity of this little narrative is so funny but like also kind of cute: “And so Santa said” “Fuck you” - :joy::joy: Also, is it weird that I think Mrs Clause is, like, really hot?

  • Part of me is like “why would a parent tell their child that story?” But come to think of it, that would be me as a mum, so I guess I should say thank you for giving me some future material.

  • “you look like that guy from Garfield” HAHAHA, I can’t believe you let me say that, but also, THANKS for letting me say that! I really hate when people reject a choice that they coded in, but that’s not you!

  • “Cliche friends” :rofl: I’m worried my thoughts on your whole story is just going to end up as quotes and emojis

  • Ok, now wtf is Cyrus!!?

  • No, now WTF is CYRUS?! I’m trying to figure out if what she’s saying is like some other word jumbled around or something, but I give up.

  • The only thing I’m not sure of in the beginning of episode 2 is that MC is joining in and laughing about Santa needing to go to school, since no one’s explained where she is yet. I feel like she’d be the type to ask over the top of everyone until she got her answer.Though, I do love her response to be called a fairy. She’s so self centered and I love it and this would have been a good one for the Bad Girl Shelf tbh.

  • How did she know he was Santa though? Like how did you know-know.

  • Oh, that was really cool how Uziel said a messed up variation of the name I typed in. Like creative AF because everyone would be typing different things… Good thing I didn’t name her something stupid like I’ve done so many other times.

  • This socks and sandals thing keeps coming up and I’m cringing every damn time at the thought.

  • Please don’t make me choose between those three outfits! :sweat_smile:

  • “I see you when you’re sleeping and know you don’t wear underwear” HAHAHAHA I died

  • Epsiode description for episode 3… “IDK seems pretty straightforward” - lol

  • Mary kind of looks like how Mrs Clause did (before CC) and I feel like that’s not a coincidence.

  • It would probably look better if the blanket overlay was back a layer so that it was behind the dim overlay

  • I agree with Seller… How did MC get her number? Bahaha.

  • I agree with MC all those clothes were ugly! Hahaha. But on a serious note, I believe you meant to call one of them “acne teen”. Acne with a ‘c’ not a ‘k’.

  • I really love your background characters.

  • “Hello?!? didn’t you notice I faint” should be “Hello?!? Didn’t you notice I fainted?”

*. Ew! The socks and sandals combination is literally burning my eyes!

  • I thought the way you narrowed in on Santa’s eyes looked amazing. Like I’ve been subtly noticing that your story is like really advanced directing disguised as basic. I mean that as a good thing too, I just think it has a nice effortless kind of feel to it.

  • What? How the heck did you do that green, black and white filter?

  • The sleigh overlay looked great.

  • Woah, Elijah’s girlfriend looks like the mum I customised.

  • Oh! Elijah’s girlfriend is the mum I customised. Random!

  • The dad looks like those weird experimental things from Spy Kids 1 (I forget what they’re called but if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know)

  • Right before the song choice, there was another sentence missing a song choice, but I tapped too quickly before I could copy it down. It was the bit directed at the reader.

  • I was right about Mary! Woop!

  • I really like what you’ve done with Elrick’s sizing and omg MC’s fall was in front of the perfect background to make it look like a continuation from the previous background.

  • I feel you’ve got a bit of a thing for having random, ugly clothes on characters and I am here for it!

  • Should I ask why Mrs Clause can teleport but Santa can’t? Should I just let this be one of the mysteries of life?

  • Ohhh Mary and Elrick!

  • The detail in that YouTube scene!

  • Oh no! Did she just become a vampire? Wow this is nothing like what I thought this story was going to be.

  • Ahhh I’m so annoyed at myself. I clicked no, but I did have more questions! :woman_facepalming:

  • Ugh, I shouldn’t have picked the white dress. Doesn’t suit her vampire body. Lol

  • Ok, that was a really creative art scene!

  • Eh, you could probably do without the author note about the disappearing characters now (Of course I’m going to say this though, I hate author notes!!)

  • Am I sensing a Nikki-Santa ship?

  • Ew, why is Vladimir wearing socks with thongs “flip flops”?

  • Oh wow! That fire thing you did looked awesome.

  • Hahaha HAHAHAAHA that Santa meme!

  • This has to be the best story in terms of consistency with background characters. It just looks like you never get lazy because your scenes are always so full AND you don’t leave them as default ones either :laughing:

  • Oh ahaha, I feel like I should have seen that coming with Nikki finiding out Santa was “dating” MC but I didn’t.

  • Poor Nikki… Although Santa did kind of warn her that he’d hurt her.

  • How did Justin get there? Woah

  • Oh shit, I just realised you’re episode description says “Update: NAH I still feel the same way”, which must mean you’ve been putting easter eggs in it and I haven’t been paying attention enough. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THEY ALL ARE!

  • Where did this fire come from? lol

  • “stop talking nonsense” needs to start with a capital “S”

  • Ahhh, socks with sandals again! :nauseated_face:

  • Loved the “makeover” montage.

  • Flying scene was great!

  • ooh, wait? wth? A bat???

  • hahahaha, i’m starting to love these fart moments.

  • AHH You’re spot placing during the elevator scene WAS EVERYTHING

  • “Are you out of your mind? are you drunk?” - needs a capital “a”

  • “Also, Why do you care? you never care about anyone but yourself!” You need a lower case “w” for “why” and un uppercase “a” for “are”

  • Why did my mum get so short all of a sudden?

  • Mimsy = best character I’m paying attention now

  • Your warning at the beginning of episode 8 worries me.

  • The live feed overlay is so cool. I feel like I’ve said this about nearly every overlay though.

  • Santa’s exit :rofl::rofl: “moon walk” sure.

  • “nobody cares bout your opinion anyway” - “n” needs to be a capital.

  • “Friends! there’s free alcohol!” “there’s” needs a capital ‘t’

  • “No, it means I want 10” hahahahahhaha

  • “Wanted? as in past tense” - “as” should have a capital “a”

  • “She was such a kind person. at that time I didn’t mind…” - you can probably guess by now what I’m picking up on - there needs to be a capital “a” for “at”

  • “He wasn’t good enough for her! she deserved better…” - capital “s” for “she”

  • Santa on the phone says “What? how?” - how needs to begin with a capital letter.

  • I’m laughing so much. “Why are you sitting on my lap?” :joy::joy:

  • “Santa! move your fat ass…” - move needs a capital ‘m’ (also what the heck is Drac wearing in this scene lol)

  • “You’re leaving now? what about Dracula?” – what needs a capital letter :wink:

  • Kinda feel sorry for Santa because they see him kissing Jane, but like, she kissed him.

  • “Santa? where are you? we’re going to be late.” - “where” and “we’re” both need capital letters.

  • IS SANTA GOING TO BE A VAMPIRE??

  • Allstar hahaha, such a good song to include.

  • I think you can’t include a second song in this episode though, because of guidelines. It’s a max of 4 (or five, I can never quite remember) lines from any song per episode.

  • I was noticing with all your time-passing-texts that they were on a black background, but then carried on over through to the next scene for a second before fading… but now it’s stopped doing the fade out.

  • How is the nose outlined like that?? :open_mouth:

  • Oh the abs looked as if they wee actually part of the body, nice!

  • This ferris wheel scene is blowing my mind.

  • Hands fetish lol

  • Well that was a quick fix hahaha

  • “F- you. this was a mistake” - “this” needs to start with a capital letter.

  • Oh wow! I was not expecting that proposal.

  • Mimsy the real mvp - I’m still paying notice to these.

  • I’m with Santa on this one, what? How did that escalate to kissing?

  • Woah, that phone smashing was cool.

  • Jane’s tattoos popped up after a second, like they weren’t always there.

  • OMG you went there! You literally gave Santa’s peen thoughts.

  • Hahaha, subitles.

  • I can’t believe three months has passed. What’s happened to spoilt brat MC?

  • YMCA? Also, “I said young man! when you’re short…” When needs to starts with a capital letter.

  • I’m so impressed with your tappable overlays scene that I almost don’t care that I have no idea what’s going on.

  • Same thing before about the song lyrics… I think you should just double check that it’s allowed if it’s two different songs, because I am under the impression it’s not.

  • Oh Christina is back.

  • The background with the photos… I’m probably staring at it too intensely, but it looks like there’s a white cross going through the center of the photo.

  • I can’t be bothered to type the episode description this time because it was too long, but note, I did read it haha.

  • I liked how you included Santa there when you offered the recap.

  • I shouldn’t be laughing at the gun comment but I am :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

  • Mad credit for all them speechbubble overlays at the bar (I read them all)

  • When Ori goes to get his makeover, Sant thinks “Did Ori brought this magazine with him?” It should be ‘bring’ instead of ‘brought’.

  • The switchers scene with those bubbles was creative AF

  • I’m so excited for this battle.

  • Oooh that little comment at Lee Funk about 1,000,000 endings :rofl: (Also you forgot the ‘s’ on the end of ending)

  • PLOT TWIST! Is that Santa’s dad?

  • “Kids! this is a respectable…” - this needs to start with a capital letter.

  • Oh, now your fanmail makes sense. I was wondering why there was a comment about Jane lol.

So, I know I kept bringing up a lot of missing capital letters that you needed to add in, but those few errors honestly do not detract from the story. It was such a random-funny story but also a truly-funny story. I think earlier I said you had such advanced directing that looked simple and I stand by that. I don’t know how to explain it. Like you just made it look effortless and it all kind of flowed without throwing anything too flashy in our faces. Really good story, maybe just do a little research about those song lyrics guidelines though.

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Ohhh you must be like me then, adding sounds as the last thing? But you don’t have to say sorry for that hahaha.

I’m so happy that you found my review helpful! (And that you said it was the best hehe :tipping_hand_woman:) Defs let me know when you officially publish xx

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If you want to put @dkr_episodes story before mine, that is fine. I didn’t make in time for the contest but it was too late to change the title.

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Oh ok, thanks for offering then :slightly_smiling_face: Sucks you missed the deadline, but that actually means you can change the name now whenever you want to

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True, I have College Days on the cover as well. So I will keep but it also means I can add fixes to the episodes without consequences too. So it kind of worked out in the end.

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First of all… You said you’re happy you eventually did comment… So like… Is that supposed to mean you were scared of me? Hahahaha.

Ah damn. Stupid Episode. I used to put so much effort into my episode descriptions and then I stopped with my latest story but you kinda made me want to go back and add them.

Good to know about the lyrics… If episode’s reviewing your story that’s exciting too! It means you have a chance to be on an upcoming shelf!

Anyway, I’m so glad you found this helpful! I really did enjoy your story :laughing:

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That’s so kind and thoughfull of you, thank you :blush: Although it’s a shame about the deadline :frowning:

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I always read descriptions. If they don’t hook me - I don’t read. But Santa’s list is really great :slight_smile:

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Well I did at least haha

Hahaha, well know they know your story exists so you’re closer than most lol

Ah it was you! I saw someone say this on forums a while ago that their goal was to do something new every episode and I really admired that and even though I forgot who said it, it’s been something I have never forgotten.

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