Amberose's Live Thoughts on Your Stories

@epy.kalea - Sinfully Yours

I want to start by saying ugh, the cover is just like, super pretty! I’m jealous.

  • I think I’ve mentioned before that I love stories about like, angels or the afterlife, or just stories that explore those kind of themes, so I’m really hyped now seeing all these backgrounds. And I love how your splashes sort of tie in with the themes.

  • That was really nice spotting in that throne scene.

  • I love reading unpublished stories because I can be really nosey and so after some sleuthing, I can already tell you must have been working on this for a while since the the navigator thinks your OG story was named Demi hahahaha.

  • When Evangeline exits to go and get dressed, she grows a little too much, which I’m guessing is because you have her exit right instead of having her walk to a spot of screen. It’s only something small, so doesn’t necessarily need to be changed, but it will make it look a little more realistic.

  • Wait, that traffic light! How did you get the looping background to stop at exactly the right moment for the traffic light! Woah.

  • Something really small that I appreciate you’ve included is the overlays to the car crash scene. It looks kinda smokey and the rain really sets the tone.

  • Does the mother have braces? Lol.

  • You should probably scale the cars a bit larger, just for when Evangeline checks out the boot (that might be Aussie slang. If you’re American, I think you call it the “trunk”). If you imagine where their legs are, it looks as if the car could be used as a step ladder. Try bringing the scale up so it looks like the boot/trunk is inline with her waist.

  • Your art scene is pretty cute. I almost feel kinda disappointed seeing Lucifer in limelight form now because the art version of him looked better hahaha.

  • I knew as soon as I picked that choice, he was going to say “you think I’m handsome?” And I’m pleased I was right.

  • The background character with pink hair in the library slid into place. You want to have her enter THEN do the thinking animation after she’d in place.

  • Pink haired girl is you, right?

  • Damn, the beginning of episode 2 :open_mouth: Amazing!

  • Loving that phone background

  • Wow, Grace is me when I’m a work.

  • Ok, that push was random but made me laugh.

  • Training montage was nice.

  • I loveeeeee Lucifer’s face after he tells her no romantic relationships in the work place. It’s my favourite animation atm.

  • Ev says that Lilith has a perfect nose but it’s the same as Ev’s. Lol.

  • Spotlight? Hmm, unpopular opinion but I actually quite liked that change. It saved the awkwardness of having a character be frozen while the other talked.

  • It’s not really a big deal, but not having Ev’s clothes in that art scene match what I chose feels a little weird. I wouldn’t have the clothing choice that morning and instead just have her wear the first option so it matches.

  • Lucifer’s smirk in the art scene gives me the creeps!

  • I think this is the first time I’ve seen a pan of Ev’s place and wow! I normally don’t care about backgrounds, but that is one nice crib.

  • Just be wary of Aspen when he’s sitting on the floor talking… It’s a looping animation, so you’ll want to have him do a sitting idle animation when the girls are talking.

  • Bahaha, Aspen’s the only one who clued in to him being the devil.

  • Episode 3 has a different intro? It says Lucifer instead of Sinfully Yours :thinking:

  • In Episode 3 when they’re at the library, you may want to spot Ev’s speechbubble because it’s covering her face.

  • Two years, five months and 15 daysssss?!?! Yikes. How old is Ev again?

  • Sophia is right! And I’m clearly nothing like Ev hahahaha

  • With the OTS shots, I think the person facing rear is positioned a little to far down on the screen. Makes them look more like a short-ass haha

  • That outfit reveal was niceeeeee. Evangline looks super tall in comparison to Sophia, but I’m loving her personal cheer.

  • All three of them look rather tall compared to the background characters, come to think of it.

  • The club is so full it makes me want to cry and cheer at the same time.

  • I love the crowd moving in the background.

  • When it goes to the flashback to the first day, Ev’s wearing a different outfit to the one I chose.

  • Hahahaa porn virus. The overlays for that were creative.

  • Is it just me or has the same song been playing for quite some time now?

  • Oh, now I’m thinking Sophia is supposed to be shorter, right? And I just haven’t noticed until now.

  • Outside the club, Lucifer gets stuck on a talking loop.

Pretty sure I’ve caught up to where you’re up to in terms of directing so I’ll end it here. It’s a very engaging story I must say. I really like that there’s tension between Lucifer and Ev but it’s still paced well. If you continue like that, then I can definitely see how it can reach 30 episodes. I’m also really intrigued to find out what’s up with Ev’s mind reading thing haha. I actually can’t wait until you publish so I can put this one straight on my recommended shelf.

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