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@Mehasels Santa’s Naughty List

No joke, this has been on my read list for AGES! and ironically, being busy with reviews is what has stopped me from actually starting it.

  • Socks with sandals? Amberose exits story…

  • Santa is not a love interest? Hahaha, should I be concerned that you have to mention that? :sweat_smile:

  • Woah, what am I even looking at right now? Like seriously? Is this like a custom background that you’ve looped and then an overlay? I can’t even process, but it looks cool.

  • “Genies, Werewolves, Fairies, And as much hotties…” - take away the comma before ‘and’ and also change it to a lower case ‘a’.

  • Similar thing in the next line - take away the comma before ‘with’ and change it to a lower case ‘w’

  • This has got to be my favourite set of background characters. Especially that elf lol.

  • The simplicity of this little narrative is so funny but like also kind of cute: “And so Santa said” “Fuck you” - :joy::joy: Also, is it weird that I think Mrs Clause is, like, really hot?

  • Part of me is like “why would a parent tell their child that story?” But come to think of it, that would be me as a mum, so I guess I should say thank you for giving me some future material.

  • “you look like that guy from Garfield” HAHAHA, I can’t believe you let me say that, but also, THANKS for letting me say that! I really hate when people reject a choice that they coded in, but that’s not you!

  • “Cliche friends” :rofl: I’m worried my thoughts on your whole story is just going to end up as quotes and emojis

  • Ok, now wtf is Cyrus!!?

  • No, now WTF is CYRUS?! I’m trying to figure out if what she’s saying is like some other word jumbled around or something, but I give up.

  • The only thing I’m not sure of in the beginning of episode 2 is that MC is joining in and laughing about Santa needing to go to school, since no one’s explained where she is yet. I feel like she’d be the type to ask over the top of everyone until she got her answer.Though, I do love her response to be called a fairy. She’s so self centered and I love it and this would have been a good one for the Bad Girl Shelf tbh.

  • How did she know he was Santa though? Like how did you know-know.

  • Oh, that was really cool how Uziel said a messed up variation of the name I typed in. Like creative AF because everyone would be typing different things… Good thing I didn’t name her something stupid like I’ve done so many other times.

  • This socks and sandals thing keeps coming up and I’m cringing every damn time at the thought.

  • Please don’t make me choose between those three outfits! :sweat_smile:

  • “I see you when you’re sleeping and know you don’t wear underwear” HAHAHAHA I died

  • Epsiode description for episode 3… “IDK seems pretty straightforward” - lol

  • Mary kind of looks like how Mrs Clause did (before CC) and I feel like that’s not a coincidence.

  • It would probably look better if the blanket overlay was back a layer so that it was behind the dim overlay

  • I agree with Seller… How did MC get her number? Bahaha.

  • I agree with MC all those clothes were ugly! Hahaha. But on a serious note, I believe you meant to call one of them “acne teen”. Acne with a ‘c’ not a ‘k’.

  • I really love your background characters.

  • “Hello?!? didn’t you notice I faint” should be “Hello?!? Didn’t you notice I fainted?”

*. Ew! The socks and sandals combination is literally burning my eyes!

  • I thought the way you narrowed in on Santa’s eyes looked amazing. Like I’ve been subtly noticing that your story is like really advanced directing disguised as basic. I mean that as a good thing too, I just think it has a nice effortless kind of feel to it.

  • What? How the heck did you do that green, black and white filter?

  • The sleigh overlay looked great.

  • Woah, Elijah’s girlfriend looks like the mum I customised.

  • Oh! Elijah’s girlfriend is the mum I customised. Random!

  • The dad looks like those weird experimental things from Spy Kids 1 (I forget what they’re called but if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know)

  • Right before the song choice, there was another sentence missing a song choice, but I tapped too quickly before I could copy it down. It was the bit directed at the reader.

  • I was right about Mary! Woop!

  • I really like what you’ve done with Elrick’s sizing and omg MC’s fall was in front of the perfect background to make it look like a continuation from the previous background.

  • I feel you’ve got a bit of a thing for having random, ugly clothes on characters and I am here for it!

  • Should I ask why Mrs Clause can teleport but Santa can’t? Should I just let this be one of the mysteries of life?

  • Ohhh Mary and Elrick!

  • The detail in that YouTube scene!

  • Oh no! Did she just become a vampire? Wow this is nothing like what I thought this story was going to be.

  • Ahhh I’m so annoyed at myself. I clicked no, but I did have more questions! :woman_facepalming:

  • Ugh, I shouldn’t have picked the white dress. Doesn’t suit her vampire body. Lol

  • Ok, that was a really creative art scene!

  • Eh, you could probably do without the author note about the disappearing characters now (Of course I’m going to say this though, I hate author notes!!)

  • Am I sensing a Nikki-Santa ship?

  • Ew, why is Vladimir wearing socks with thongs “flip flops”?

  • Oh wow! That fire thing you did looked awesome.

  • Hahaha HAHAHAAHA that Santa meme!

  • This has to be the best story in terms of consistency with background characters. It just looks like you never get lazy because your scenes are always so full AND you don’t leave them as default ones either :laughing:

  • Oh ahaha, I feel like I should have seen that coming with Nikki finiding out Santa was “dating” MC but I didn’t.

  • Poor Nikki… Although Santa did kind of warn her that he’d hurt her.

  • How did Justin get there? Woah

  • Oh shit, I just realised you’re episode description says “Update: NAH I still feel the same way”, which must mean you’ve been putting easter eggs in it and I haven’t been paying attention enough. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THEY ALL ARE!

  • Where did this fire come from? lol

  • “stop talking nonsense” needs to start with a capital “S”

  • Ahhh, socks with sandals again! :nauseated_face:

  • Loved the “makeover” montage.

  • Flying scene was great!

  • ooh, wait? wth? A bat???

  • hahahaha, i’m starting to love these fart moments.

  • AHH You’re spot placing during the elevator scene WAS EVERYTHING

  • “Are you out of your mind? are you drunk?” - needs a capital “a”

  • “Also, Why do you care? you never care about anyone but yourself!” You need a lower case “w” for “why” and un uppercase “a” for “are”

  • Why did my mum get so short all of a sudden?

  • Mimsy = best character I’m paying attention now

  • Your warning at the beginning of episode 8 worries me.

  • The live feed overlay is so cool. I feel like I’ve said this about nearly every overlay though.

  • Santa’s exit :rofl::rofl: “moon walk” sure.

  • “nobody cares bout your opinion anyway” - “n” needs to be a capital.

  • “Friends! there’s free alcohol!” “there’s” needs a capital ‘t’

  • “No, it means I want 10” hahahahahhaha

  • “Wanted? as in past tense” - “as” should have a capital “a”

  • “She was such a kind person. at that time I didn’t mind…” - you can probably guess by now what I’m picking up on - there needs to be a capital “a” for “at”

  • “He wasn’t good enough for her! she deserved better…” - capital “s” for “she”

  • Santa on the phone says “What? how?” - how needs to begin with a capital letter.

  • I’m laughing so much. “Why are you sitting on my lap?” :joy::joy:

  • “Santa! move your fat ass…” - move needs a capital ‘m’ (also what the heck is Drac wearing in this scene lol)

  • “You’re leaving now? what about Dracula?” – what needs a capital letter :wink:

  • Kinda feel sorry for Santa because they see him kissing Jane, but like, she kissed him.

  • “Santa? where are you? we’re going to be late.” - “where” and “we’re” both need capital letters.

  • IS SANTA GOING TO BE A VAMPIRE??

  • Allstar hahaha, such a good song to include.

  • I think you can’t include a second song in this episode though, because of guidelines. It’s a max of 4 (or five, I can never quite remember) lines from any song per episode.

  • I was noticing with all your time-passing-texts that they were on a black background, but then carried on over through to the next scene for a second before fading… but now it’s stopped doing the fade out.

  • How is the nose outlined like that?? :open_mouth:

  • Oh the abs looked as if they wee actually part of the body, nice!

  • This ferris wheel scene is blowing my mind.

  • Hands fetish lol

  • Well that was a quick fix hahaha

  • “F- you. this was a mistake” - “this” needs to start with a capital letter.

  • Oh wow! I was not expecting that proposal.

  • Mimsy the real mvp - I’m still paying notice to these.

  • I’m with Santa on this one, what? How did that escalate to kissing?

  • Woah, that phone smashing was cool.

  • Jane’s tattoos popped up after a second, like they weren’t always there.

  • OMG you went there! You literally gave Santa’s peen thoughts.

  • Hahaha, subitles.

  • I can’t believe three months has passed. What’s happened to spoilt brat MC?

  • YMCA? Also, “I said young man! when you’re short…” When needs to starts with a capital letter.

  • I’m so impressed with your tappable overlays scene that I almost don’t care that I have no idea what’s going on.

  • Same thing before about the song lyrics… I think you should just double check that it’s allowed if it’s two different songs, because I am under the impression it’s not.

  • Oh Christina is back.

  • The background with the photos… I’m probably staring at it too intensely, but it looks like there’s a white cross going through the center of the photo.

  • I can’t be bothered to type the episode description this time because it was too long, but note, I did read it haha.

  • I liked how you included Santa there when you offered the recap.

  • I shouldn’t be laughing at the gun comment but I am :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

  • Mad credit for all them speechbubble overlays at the bar (I read them all)

  • When Ori goes to get his makeover, Sant thinks “Did Ori brought this magazine with him?” It should be ‘bring’ instead of ‘brought’.

  • The switchers scene with those bubbles was creative AF

  • I’m so excited for this battle.

  • Oooh that little comment at Lee Funk about 1,000,000 endings :rofl: (Also you forgot the ‘s’ on the end of ending)

  • PLOT TWIST! Is that Santa’s dad?

  • “Kids! this is a respectable…” - this needs to start with a capital letter.

  • Oh, now your fanmail makes sense. I was wondering why there was a comment about Jane lol.

So, I know I kept bringing up a lot of missing capital letters that you needed to add in, but those few errors honestly do not detract from the story. It was such a random-funny story but also a truly-funny story. I think earlier I said you had such advanced directing that looked simple and I stand by that. I don’t know how to explain it. Like you just made it look effortless and it all kind of flowed without throwing anything too flashy in our faces. Really good story, maybe just do a little research about those song lyrics guidelines though.

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