@JMO - A Spark of Hope
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A main character that must have short hair is something I haven’t seen before. Tbh, I kind of guessed she had cancer because of that.
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I’m one of those people that doesn’t really like to CC mums and dads, and would rather just have their skin colour/hair colour change when I CC main characters so they automatically look related, but that’s kind of a non-issue because there are others who like to CC everyone.
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The first scene alone is full of grammar and punctuation mistakes. It doesn’t make it unreadable, but it’s still something you might want to fix. Things like random capital letters in the middle of sentences and the word “it’s” always missing the apostrophe. I was going to start quoting, but I’m afraid there’s just too many and it’s something you’ll have to look through yourself.
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I also in the first scene and in the hospital scene, when characters exits they “grow”. It’s most likely because you’ve spot placed them and then you use the exits command. If you want to keep them the same height, have them walk to a spot off screen instead.
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Nylah is wearing something my Nan would kill me for. Her bottom half is like she’s not cold because she’s wearing shorts, but the top half she’s wearing a sweater and scarf.
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I notced you said that hospital was her home away from home and then a little bit later you said her hospital room was her home away from home? Maybe think of another comparison to make to keep them different.
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What was the deal with the bonus outfit?
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In the cafeteria, there was one BG character that needs to be moved back a layer… The zoom was too fast for me to tell you which one it was, but it was the female in zone 1 who needs to go back.
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The transition to the flashback could have been smoother. There was a fade out white transition but then it went back to the present day scene for a second and then switched back to the flashback.
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Great animation for exercising!
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Omg, how embarrassing when her mum walks in!!! LOL!!!
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I feel like not all of Alex’s reaction animations suit her… She sometimes looks more scared rather than excited.
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In your dress up options for the party, you have “try another style” but it won’t let me click on it.
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At the actual party scene, there’s two characters “grinding” on each other, but the female is behind the male, so it doesn’t quite look right.
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A really weird/funny glitch just happened to Ren. I’ll add a screenshot below.
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Really? Ren’s going to jail? A think that’s a bit much for a lil fight at a party though.
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I remember in my first review I said your episodes were really short, but that’s not the case here! You’ve had a great length so far.
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I noticed mum mention your other story Him & I. That’s was a cute Easter egg you put in there haha.
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In the scene in the hallway, when Nylah is talking to Michael, the transition at the end of the scene is a fade in when it should be a fade out.
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That was a great cliff hanger to episode 3.
Since you said you only wanted three episodes reviewed, I’m leaving it there, but I can always do more if you want me to. My only real issue with your story was that there were so many apostrophes missing from where they should be. I’d really encourage you to go back and look at that because having could grammar makes your whole story feel more professional. I get the feeling this is going to be a really emotional story so good luck with the rest of it and making your readers cry lol.
