@dkr_episodes College Days: Faking it
Woop woop, return customer!
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Oooh fancy CC background and overlay.
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I only picked up on this because I’m blonde and was looking for my hair colour, but the only options for Hailey’s hair in “light” are strawberry blonde or that peachy blonde colour, which I thought was weird considering you said skin tone was the only thing that couldn’t be changed… Which is another thing I want to ask about. I’m guessing limb overlays?
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The first line in the actual story is a question… but doesn’t actually have the question mark (small thing, you can change this without it affecting the contest)
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I like the use of transitions to make it look like stage lights flashing.
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I’m loving whole Pirate Pizza thing. I think the backgrounds are super cute and the fact that her actual role is out the front singing. It’s a nice motif which I’m thinking, based on the intro, will carry on.
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Hailey looks soooooo terribly sad at the end of that scene, but kind of in a cute way and you’ve got me wondering what animation that is??
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There was one small thing that stuck out to me with the TV scene, and that was that the reporter was in front of the school’s overlay, so her elbow stuck out a bit. (Changing the layers won’t affect anything for the contest.)
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Woah, wtf?? That night to day transition looked amazing!
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I liked that you had all the background characters in that scene as she’s going to work the next day… There was one that looked a little too close to the car that drove past, but that’s not really an issue, it just sorta made me fear that there would be a car crash.
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Mr Puccini’s dancing
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I’m imagining your script must have a few spot placing commands because I can see you’re using my favorite reaction face, which is a sitting animation, so I know you’re going back and forth between sitting and standing, but it’s worth it because it looks good.
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No staff? Lol, what’s the point of even opening and running this business.
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She can’t even make a pizza? Puh-lease! who can’t make a pizza, it’s easy…
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Hailey’s thinking “who orders pizza at 11am?” and I’m just like “oh, that’s me at least once a week at work ahaha”
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Oh wow, she really can’t cook pizza… Nice fire overlay btw, and then having the sprinklers go off was genius.
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The puddles were a nice touch, but the actual drip and splash were a stand out.
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Lol, there he goes firing more people… I feel like he should just close his business, but that’s neither here nor there.
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At the crossing road, the characters look like they’re scaled too big. When you zoom out, you can see that Hailey could probably cross the street in two steps if she tried to.
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Ooh, he took the wrong bag, didn’t he? Side note: I’m guessing this is why blonde wasn’t a hair colour option before?
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OMG! I mean… I knew what this story was about from the description but I was not expecting it to go down this way. I really can’t decide if I should call parents or not…
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Eh, I decided not to. I await my bad ending lol
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Wow, episode 1 was pretty long actually - but in a good way, you covered everything. Like if this were a TV show, that would be a great pilot.
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… that awkward moment when you credit yourself as if you are not you for overlays and backgrounds hahaha
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In the shower, the narration bubble covers Hailey’s face a bit… I know she’s not talking, but it still just kinda looks weird not seeing her face…
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I meant to say this before, but I like that some of these choices are gaining personality traits.
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Oh damn, I didn’t even notice this at first, but you have a very subtle overlay in that shower and it makes it look like there’s actual water droplets on the characters… especially Carolyne.
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Small thing… So MC finishes shower and she opens the door to get out… But right before that Carolyne and Brian were in there and just exited left without the door.
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I’m a little surprised that you’ve put a character wearing a headscarf in a short sleeved dress for the party scene. It’s not really appropriate.
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I really like that you made the hair dye choice actually matter. I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t dye it
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I find with a lot of multiple love interest stories, the first one you meet always seems to be the “good” one, but I kind of like that Hailey’s already developing a lil crush on Alan… I think it will make choosing between them harder.
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Hahahaha, I laughed at Brian’s fall.
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The “woozy” background was cool! I really understood what Hailey was feeling because of that.
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That fade in actually frightened me a bit… it was so dark for so long and all I could make out was Jacob’s tattoo and it looked like a really close close-up of an eye to me lol
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I was about to point out she left in her undies… I’m glad she realised hahaha
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What happened to her tattoo? The bird one?
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What’s with the whistle Carolyne’s wearing? And later Hailey has it too.
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Jacob’s hand when he’s carrying her (the limb overlay) looks really red… Is that because of the filter?
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The washing machine scenario is gold
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Oh wow, an ex boyfriend? Is it weird that her ex knows it’s her straight away but her own mother isn’t questioning why her “dead” daughter’s hair has changed colour?
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I’d recommend changing Police1 and Police3 display names to either blank or detective something or officer something… (I’m pretty sure this is considered a small change so you could do it without it affecting the contest)
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Me at the end of episode 3:
MURDER?
So overall I really enjoyed this. If it were a TV show, it would definitely be something I’d watch. I can see a lot of potential plot holes though, so I’ll be interested to see if you have any plans to explain these… Things like where are Olivia’s parents? Why couldn’t Hailey’s family tell it wasn’t her… even the fact that they probably don’t sound the exact same when singing could be a plot hole, but since it’s episode and they don’t have voices, I feel like you can get away with that one lol.