Amberose's Live Thoughts on Your Stories

@sally.episode96 - College Days: College of Suffering

  • The title of this reminds me so much of my own Uni College days.

  • I’ve been trying to be less judgey about author notes, but gah, I’m sorry, I still hate them… Even though it’s interesting to know this is based off of your own experience, you really shouldn’t say “even though the first three episodes seem short” because that acts as a deterrent.

  • The mother’s CC confuses me a bit. We’re only allowed to do skin tone and lip colour? Why is that?

  • Nevermind, now that I’ve done father and brother too, I think I understand why.

  • So when MC first changed, my eyes literally went wide eyed because I thought she was changing into her bikini LOL, but I think it’s great you included “underwear” without making it feel like she was taking too long to get dressed.

  • Oooh, I love how the road is actually busy with traffic.

  • I was wondering why when it came to the choice about admitting it was a copy or not, the “pretend you didn’t know” option was gold?

  • Oooh mini game - I love it!

  • In the car, a few speechbubbles were covering MC’s and her dad’s face. I’d recommend spotting them above their heads with the tail on the bottom. (I’m not sure if this is considering a small change though, so best to wait until after contest)

  • I kinda hate the shoes MC is wearing with the towel… But since they’re kinda like thongs flip flops, I’m guessing that’s actually there for sanitary purposes? Possibly because of a college shared bathroom? In which case, I will sacrifice the fashion for that.

  • The way MC talks about her dad is actually really relateable to me. This won’t be the case for everyone, but it sure is for me.

  • Episode one was a good length and I liked how it ended with “we need a miracle”… Even though that wasn’t a cliff hanger, it still had a sense of foreshadowing.

  • In episode 2, when we meet Ameera, consider zooming closer up so we don’t see their legs shift from sitting animations to standing animations (Again, better wait until after contest for this change)

  • Ugh, why is Mrs Havill such a bitch?

  • Yay, another mini game!

  • Just a small thing, I think most readers would probably benefit from all the answers being given prior to the game. For example, having MC studying it the night before. Because for most people (including myself) the quiz is just random guesses. At least if you had actually mentioned it in the episode, I wouldn’t be able to blame you if I fail this. Does that make sense? I feel like I explained it weirdly…

  • Wait, I just noticed the correct answers are a shade darker :woman_facepalming: Do I need my eyesight checked?

  • I really appreciate that each class has a different background but still looks like it’s all part of the same college.

  • So in Trent’s CC I spotted an error. On the eye colour page, you haven’t added the [shouldPaginate: YES] code in, so the done button and the change-eye-shape button appears twice.

  • Did I just read that right? “It’s happening again?” What are the odds of MC meeting two people she already knew hahaha

OOoh, I just realised I barely wrote anything for episode 3… Guess I was enjoying it too much? To be honest, I couldn’t really find much to fault. There was a decent amount of choices, it was the perfect length for me, and it was really nice to see MC had to face some real life problems too, like the copy of the document and the money troubles. I am really looking forward to seeing more mini games when you continue, because I thought that was really good to include.

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