@TheBigMystery - Fantastical: Regnum Fortes
So I have seen this floating on the forums a lot lately and have been eager to get up to it. Really excited for this.
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Your intro splashes look so pro! I think a second longer to read would be beneficial, because I was a little distracted staring at the background that I missed the first one. But still, it’s a really clean, professional look you have.
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With the love interest customization, I’m so confused but like in a good way. Like an excitedly “what the heck is going and who do I choose to customize” kind of way. It’s so intriguing, with the way I get little descriptions.
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I think this is a glitch with my phone, but sometimes the narrations bubbles show up blank, when I click on a love interest to get the description. I thought it was you as the author trying to be mysterious and not give any details about certain love interests, and was going to ask how you did it, but then I realized it was a glitch. LOL!
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You’ve got a great use of text effects, and they feel like the add to the story, rather than distract.
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I love that you’ve spot placed the narration bubble when introducing the scene.
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Your scene looks full of BG characters, great effort there.
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Subtitles… What?! What world am I in? Imagine me doing the shocked animation in INK right now, because that is literally my reaction.
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Ok I’m pretty early in to this story, but I’m going to make a wild guess you’ve had this in the works prior to the contest being announced? Please confirm, because I am insanely jealous if you can come up with all this in the short amount of time contests give you. I literally take a whole day to spot one overlay!
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I’m more putting this point here to make sure I’m following and understanding… So the twins don’t know about these kingdoms or anything? Like they think they’re regular humans?
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OMIGAWD that scene with Xylon and the fireball and the… ice-ball (???). That looked amazing! Like you zoom in the right places and time the transitions perfectly that you can’t even tell that this is just some animation on a phone screen.
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When I chose “I want to be your princess” I didn’t actually say it. Not sure if that’s the case for all the other options in that choice, but I have been saying all other choices I pick, so I think that one might have been overlooked.
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I like that we get to ask all these questions again, because even though a lot of this has been explained in the intro, I have been a little distracted looking at all the pretty overlays and what not that I may have missed a few details.
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I like the mini montage you had with Briony showing everything. She seems so energetic.
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I can’t believe I’m still on the first episode. This is quite long.
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Man, you are like, super creative. Coming up with those mannequins for the training? Clever. It even seems like you’ve found a way to convey things that episode doesn’t even have proper animations for!
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And are all these backgrounds custom made in the training scenes?
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I think you might have missed a text effect when they’re about to go on their missions. The line is
MARYSE
Trust me, it gets easier to cope with | in time
I think the “|” is either the start or ending on a text effect… Or good just be a random typo all together. (If you want to change this it counts as a minor fix and won’t affect you in the contest) -
Exin read my mind when that ice wall grew up and the arrow flew in.
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Holy moly, that split screen thing you did! I feel like I’m watching a movie. It’s annoying that I have to tap the screen, when I just want to sit back with popcorn and watch this unfold.
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You’ve got some really inspirational quotes sneakily weaved in here.
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Episode 2 felt shorter, not that I’m complaining, just stating it because it’s usually episode 1 that feels shorter. Could possibly have to do with the fact that it was so action packed.
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I haven’t said anything about your author notes as of yet, because I feel your explanations are necessary for such a complex plot, buuuuutttt at the beginning of episode 3, don’t worry about apologizing for your episode focusing on characters and being “shorter” than usual. It’s almost like you invite people to say “Wahh this was a short episode”. I say don’t bother with it and if they complain in your fanmail, just reply there saying “sorry”. At the end of the day, I’m sure readers can see how much effort was put in to this and that sometimes, there’s appropriate moments to end an episode and sometimes that moment comes sooner rather than later… Lol, woops that turned into a little mini rant.
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Did we just do a time skip? I remember Briony saying the ball was in 2 weeks, but Xylon just said it’s tonight?
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I really like the shift in focus for episode 3 to relationships. I know this isn’t a romance story, but with so many love interests, it’s sort of necessary to have that time dedicated to figuring out who I want and what not.
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I used to want Limelight clothes updates selfishly for me, but now I want it because I feel like you would make good use of it. I see you’ve gotten creative with some outfits, but I’m guessing it’s pretty hard to make all your background characters look different but still make them look not-really-human.
I really honestly have nothing else to say. Your story is really great and you should be really proud of it. I feel like I’m not even worthy of reading it because it was just so mind blowing 