Amberose's Live Thoughts on Your Stories

@MysteryMaker - LURKING IN THE SHADOWS

  • Your backgrounds are giving me scary vibes and I’m only 6 seconds in lol

  • I don’t understand quite what you mean by watch without the blink of an eye…

  • Even before you said it was every Halloween, I could tell based on outfits so good work.

  • I feel like I’m watching a movie trailer the way you have done your text overlays.

  • Actually, I feel like I’m watching a movie full stop. I haven’t tapped the screen since the kids said trick or treat… Which is not good for me writing all this because I’m scared I’ll miss something if I type it down but if I don’t type it down I will forget my thoughts hhahahahaha aahhhhh

  • Ok, shadow itself I love. That looks cool AF

  • In the street before the lights flicker out, I’m not sure what was happening with the zooms, they just felt like they were zooming in odd spots. But the lights switching off was done very well.

  • “That dream had been haunting me since five days” - since should be for, I believe.

  • Oh strooth, that was all just a dream?

  • The lightening strike looked cool on the tree out front.

  • Wow, I haven’t worn long pants underneath my skirt in YEARS.

  • WTF is wrong with Carol? Don’t tell your sister to dress as a clown if that dream has been haunting you for 5 days.

  • Not too sure why Carol asks the reader what they will dress up as… I don’t think that’s needed, feels out of place in a thriller.

  • In the dream, Carol is facing the wrong way for the looping background

  • You will need to spot place the speechbubble when she wakes.

  • Opening window overlay was amazing.

  • I like that you switch up your angles a lot. Helps with the movie vibe. I’m not a fan of so many backgrounds being realistic photos, because I feel like it doesn’t suit ink, but that’s just a preference.

  • That timed choice looked different to episode’s one, is it your own overlay?

  • The lantern overlays showed up a second too late in ep 2

  • “Does bushes have I eyes?” - does should be do

  • I see your other story advertised at the cinemas? Nice!

  • The character in the movie was also walking the wrong way for the looping background.

  • WAIT, Richard Shine? But shine is Carol’s last name. What does this mean?

  • Hang on, Kazama didn’t say where he was? How do police know where they’re going?

  • That arm overlay looks amazing with the gun hold and all.

  • Should be “pull” the trigger, not “push”

  • Kath must be dedicated to her costume since she’s not wearing shoes lol.

  • Richard says “If Something happens to them then you wont be standing here alive” - something should start with a lower case."

  • “I was still regretting myself for Jessy’s disappearence” - should it be blaming instead of regretting?

  • I feel like I’m making all the wrong choices hahahaha

  • Kath says “And you knew they are dead” - knew should be know.

  • The video scene was very interesting… Something’s happens to Carol, right? Because she wouldn’t say that. Her phone must have been hacked.

Overall I’d say it’s an entertaining read and I’ll be carrying on to see what happens. There was a very grammar things that need to be fixed, and the direction of running for the looping backgrounds but ultimately it doesn’t take away from the story.

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