@claire.epy - Criminally Lovestruck
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Well, I really love your intro. It feels professional without pulling out bells and whistles, if that makes sense. Plus, you had a nice way of introducing your main character.
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I think I spotted a minor layering issues in the boardroom, but it was very minor… Maybe I imagine it even.
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Aww, I’m so sad looking at all the clothing. Those jackets literally bleed and it’s a real shame because it would suit your characters and the setting so well if they just didn’t let the shirts underneath seep through like that
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Honestly, I don’t normally listen with my sound on, but I have been so far and I have to say that it’s very well timed.
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In the jury room (nice use of the jury room btw), I feel like the front row needs to be scaled a little smaller.
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Rhonda seems… interesting…
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Ooops, you went over the line limit of song lyrics. You can only have a max of 5 lines of a song in an episode.
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Omg, my effort with the choices is embarrassing. Is it possible that Charlize will die? I think if so, that she will die in my playthrough because I’m getting these wrong
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This camera mini game will be the death of me…
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Yayyy I got through it!
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Oh gosh, all your choices feel intense… I love it… But also hate it too haha
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Is there a reason Stephen and Charlize seem to be standing so far apart in the hallway?
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Just a small thing, but the dress choice in the bathroom with the mirror? The mirror character should technically be facing rear
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Wow, I love how you’ve directed these photo album scenes
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Hehehe, I’m laughing at what you’ve named the criminals. It’s good though, makes me giggle nonetheless.
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omg omg omg. I’ve figured it out. JO!
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Wow, that took me longer than it should have. You revealed it in the very next line. Side note: I feel like my guessing in mystery stories is way off. It’s probably my favourite genre to read in and I didn’t even guess Jo. What’s wrong with me?
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Great length for the first episode. Like really. Mine was about an hour because I struggled with the camera mini game, but never mind that - everyone else who has brain cells will be fine.
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Ah, Stephen’s room, blanket, clock… It’s all so perfect
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Layla! Hahahahaha omg. Nice job with the bag overlay
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Ooh the bruises too. They looked so real.
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The coffee shop tables showed up a fraction of a second too late when we first open on the scene.
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Hmmm yes, I do think a ship this Elliot marine guy. He’s dreamy. I like the crew hair personally.
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Charlize’s nose changes in the flashback?
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Another I was not expecting- him at the coffee shop
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Maybe pan across the note slower? I didn’t quite read it all because there was three lines and only one pan.
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I feel like Layla was very chill about her kidnap story… But maybe that’s because I’m reading it in a certain type or voice? Or maybe she is just the type who is like “Oh yeah, I got kidnapped the other week, no biggie”.
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Good news, I think I’m making better choices now
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Oooooh myyyyy goodddddddd the punching bag! The background kind of looks a bit too cartoony for my liking but I cannot get over how much I love the punching bag!
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The hospital backgrounds also have the cartoon look. It looks cool, but it does sort of stick out compared to the episode ones.
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Wow, Jo does not hold back. I kind of love it but am a little worried there’s no room for redemption when Charlize finds her and that will be so sad.
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Ok, loading episode 3 and noticing that you only have 45 reads? What? How? Girl. When did you publish? I probably haven’t made it clear enough, but I’m really enjoying this. I tend to write less with stories like this because I’m either too engrossed or I’m scared I’ll miss a clue, but just to be extra clear, I have really enjoyed episodes 1 and 2 and think it’s a crime you only have 45 reads.
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Oh I see you made our victim match the background one… That’s clever
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Nice improv to make it look like they’re going under the crime scene tape
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I like how you’re making the choices disappear after we have chosen them. I’m often too lazy to do that myself hahahaha lol
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I don’t know how I feel about these scenes with the others working he case… Specifically this one with Rhonda and Jonas. I had MC tell them to focus on the case because I feel like this is no time for dancing. Hmph.
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Oooh, the roses are connecting
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Ahh, crap! Timed choice… What do I do?
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I love love love love love love your fight scene timed choices - I really want to be specific here, because I was talking on a different thread the other day about how having “guess” choices were kind of dumb. Like choice to duck or hit, without any context, is just a blind guess. So I appreciated the way you did it because I didn’t feel blind. Thank you, I love you.
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Woah at that flashback. I must have a thing for military men because all three of them were pretty attractive in my opinion, and one even had a nose I hate, so that’s impressive. (Also, I noticed the overly cartoon background again… Still feel like they don’t quite “flow”, but I don’t mind them that much either so if you disregard these comments about the backgrounds I don’t blame you)
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The trenches background is to die for
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Ooops, shouldn’t have said “to die for” . Anyway, the bullet overlay and movement was super amazing. I loved it. Perfectly directed and I still don’t understand how this has 45 reads???
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I have been loving the amount of choices you have and how even though they’re different styles (as in “how do you feel” vs “what should I do” choices), they all seem to flow. It just feels very elevated. Like a story that knows what it’s doing.
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Heh, as soon as the phone call came up, I knew you were gonna leave me on a cliff hanger lol. Good job.
Soo… I really loved this. Definitely one of my new favorites. You have talent. My only critique is that in a few scenes where you had background characters, you left some of them looking like the default stock characters.
Also, I had a thought about Rhonda… She reminds me of Garcia from Criminal Minds. Do you watch that show?