Um, people? People still need sleep even with energy drinks and coffee 
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Not me. I think when I finish 3rd chapter I will evolve into some higher human form, that doesn’t sleep and always is cranky. It’s 6am here, and I donnow why Im talking to u… I can sleep like for 90 more minutes. So bugger off lady 
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Hi hon
Was wondering if you have read my new chapters.
Would love your feedback on it.
jlouise
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Of course I’m stalking this thread, and will continue to do so FOREVER! Ha ha ha, I’m a dedicated stalker and once I set my eyes on something, I don’t stop 
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Ok, that sounded way too creepy 
Goes back to eating chips while reading
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@Kayoshe - A Perfect World
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So with the beginning, starting off with CC is actually kind of hard because I don’t know anything about MC or the other guy. I always like to try and find a way for my CC to be integrated naturally. And tbh, after seeing your first scene, it would be easy to do that with your story. This is only a suggestion, but what if you started with a close up zoom Kayah’s legs as she started running? You could have the thoughts/narration going as she ran and then slowly zoom up to her face and then do the CC?
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The looping background looks good up until the masked guy comes in. It sucks that episode doesn’t have a run animation with a gun, but there’s ways to work around it if you’re creative. One idea, is if you took on my CC idea, after the CC was over you could switch to an idle background, or if not that, you could zoom on unknowns’ top half so then we can’t actually see his legs aren’t moving. Either way, by the time Kayah is on the ground, you should switch it to the idle background so they don’t look like they’re sliding.
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There was one background character that “popped” into the scene at the school. Make sure you place them using & instead of @ to avoid this.
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Zach is her boyfriend? They really don’t come across as a couple hahaha.
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When the boys join the group and then again later on when Evina’s in the kitchen, their walking movement is kind of rushed. I’d say you just need to add how long it takes them to walk to their spot. Example:
@Evina walks to screen right in 3
On that note as well, in the school scene, was their a reason that guy chose to stand behind Kayah. He was upscreen right, but since it was more of a boy vs girls convo taking place, it would probably be better to put Kayah there and have Zach screen centre facing right. That way you’ve got a bit of a power play. -
In the store, Kayah and Zahara “pop” into the scene after the pan. Make sure you place them in zone one before you pan to it so it looks like they were there the whole time.
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Wait… What’s Eva up to? Isn’t she Kayah’s sister? Why has she got it out for Roxy? (Also, I laughed at that comment about shaving. Not sure if that was a pube joke or general statement but both made me laugh).
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Ok, apart from my overall confusion at Evina and Eva (btw I didn’t realise they were twins for the longest time lol) and their motivation, I really like how Blake is introduced. That was a nice simple way to have the reader meet the love interest.
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Blake dancing made me laugh soooo much because he just looks so serious in his suit. Wasn’t expecting him to let loose.
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So the way the DJ introduced the slow song was good, but there was an awkward pause getting Kayah and Blake into position and then in the end there dancing wasn’t timed to match each other.
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Zach and an anonymous texter all in one scene! Unlucky day for Kayah. Kinda sucks that it looks like she was cheating on Zach even though she only just met Blake.
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So the characters popping into the scene is happening quite a bit now. If you’re placing all your character into the scene on a different line, you need to swap out @ for &. The & will make them all appear at the same time.
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Also, wow this is a long episode. I’m surprised I’m still on episode one. I bet this took up a lot of lines in your script.
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I’m with Kayah, what the heck! What kind of a sister hooks up with your boyfriend in YOUR room! Low blow.
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Is it bad that I think it’s funny how Sneak pins the robbery on Marcus?
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Ok, this is strange because I thought episode one was long, but now I think episode 2 was quite short.
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At the beginning of episode 3, Kayah is wearing a completely different outfit.
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It’s a little weird that all the girls go to bed wearing shoes lol.
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Well, this phantom texter has got me intrigued. I feel like this could be related to the opening scene maybe?
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Wow, Kayah’s dad is so intense!
Ok, so I’m up to date. I know I made a few suggestions throughout my review already, but just to recap, I think it’s just a matter of using the & symbol to help you with spotting/placing characters. Once you get a hang of it, it’s going to help make the dances and hug scenes flow smoother and give it a nice polished look. Also want to say I really like how you ended all your episodes on cliff hangers, because that suits the drama genres.
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I’m only one behind! I can catch up tonight and let you know 
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Thanks babe 
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Hi Amberose, I would really appreciate if you will review our College Days entry 
Thank you so much 
3320BCF5-571E-4144-874A-5CC0C3CAACFC.png1228x1697 1.09 MB
Title: College Days: Professor De la Rosa
Style: INK
Genre: Comedy
Description: Professor De la Rosa is starting his first year teaching. How it will change his life? Will he keep his job or will he go back to being his bad boy self? 4 endings, Choices matter
Chapters: 3
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4580036740775936
Hope you will enjoy it 
Also I read every one of your stories And I loved them all, but I think that the best are Its a twin thing and One of the girls 
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Sure thing, I’m trying to be really prompt with doing the contest reviews now so I’ll make sure I’ll do it before the contest is over 
Omg, thank you. I just died. Also I agree lol
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Thank you so much
no need to thank me yours stories were definitely worth my time
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Hi, I’d love for you to review my story 
Title: CYBER
Author: Vivi
Style: Limelight
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Chapters: 3 (ongoing)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4657138351603712
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Here are two stories I have published. The second one is co-written. Also, I want a review plus more readings for my stories. You can click the link or look them up on the app.
First Story:
Title: Daughter of the Blue Dragon
Author: WolfGamerGirl37
Genre: Drama/Romance/Action
Description: Lena is the daughter of a Yakuza boss, who is being set up for an arranged marriage. She decides to run away when tragedy strikes within the Blue Dragon gang.
Episodes: 3 (more coming)
Style: INK
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5158041349652480
Second Story:
Title: College Days: A Mystical Beginning
Author: WolfnDragon90
Genre: Fantasy/Romance/Drama
Descriptions:Three best friends are admitted to Godafraedi College for creatures of mythological beings. Two know of their heritage but one does not.
Episodes: 3 (more coming)
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6027909525274624
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Hi there
Since last time your feedback was very helpful, I decide to ask for a review on my new story. It’s an entry for College Days Contest.
Title: College Days: Faking it (LL)
Author: dkr_episodes
Genre: Drama/ Romance
Description: A terrible accident makes the impossible, possible. The price? You have to give up on yourself and pretend to be someone else. How far will you go to pursue your dream? You choose.
Episodes 3
Style: Limelight
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@fcukforcookies - Pine Hollow: Hex of the Three
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I don’t know why the first thing I did was click navigation to see how many scenes you had, it’s something I do whenever I beta read stories because it makes me feel powerful… Anyway, fun fact: I know what you originally called this story
Prophecy of the Three -
Excuse my French, but holy fuck ! Dat intro! I saw your rain hack on that other thread, but it looks even better now seeing it used.
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I don’t even feel worthy of reading this and I’m like 30 seconds in. Just… so.much.advancedness.
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The figures, the opening credits, just the vibe. It feels like I’m watching a movie.
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Ok, so this is not really anything I think you should change because I don’t think there’s that many people out there like me who do this, but whenever people having a dressing game with “done” at the bottom of their options, I’m always inclined to click it before getting changed. I have character walking around in towels all the time. I was soooooooooo tempted to do that with your story, but I resisted. Anyway, just something to keep in mind, I don’t think it’s a big deal though. If people are like me, they’re not going to complain about it because it’s something our idiot selves chose to do.
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Ooh actually, maybe do change that dressing game because I checked the counters (another great thing about beta reading) and I’ve just seen that I’ve “gained” every outfit and every hairstyle. If you’re doing that to remember choices for future scenes, you’ll have to give every option an “are you sure” choice and put the gain in the “yes” bracket.
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Oh my, that was quite a long new-student introduction hahahaha. Made me laugh.
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…Witchcraft? Yes, please.
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I love the desperate housewives vibe I get from Beatrice. She seems like she’ll be the town gossip.
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I’m also just noticing we need some more mum-pants
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The reader message looks extra cool with the colours. I think most people don’t know that you can use text effects in the toasters just yet.
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Ok, I’m panicking! What do I pick? WHAT DO I PICK?!
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Also, ingage? Is that supposed to be engage? I guess I’ll pick walk away due to the typo. That’s my logic. Lol
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Locker scene contains so many good insults hahaha. I loved how Taylor threw Katarina against the locker.
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Shady mayor? Interesting… I’m wondering what his relationship with Beatrice is.
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Omg omg omg omg that flashback! The whole asthetic of that scene is just so physically appealing. Like the filter seems to enhance the black hair and white dresses.
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Behind the scenes? So innovative! Like I can’t even be mad that it’s technically an author note because so clever and creative and I was wondering about half of these things.
But seriously, that’s so sweet. I’m really honoured you would give me this shoutout-
One thing you didn’t add in there which I’m wondering about is Katarina’s nationality. She keeps saying “aye” so I was wondering if she was Scottish?
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Was going to ask about the shirtless kid but lol, Ms Wang beat me to it.
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Abigail and Katarina on the bench look like they’re scaled a little too big when it’s zoomed out enough. I think it’s because Katarina’s knees are hanging too far out. But, when the zoom is closer up on their individual faces, it does look properly scaled in comparison to the bleachers in the background. Did I just over complicate things?
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I’m asking this, even though I’m fairly sure of the answer, but the art class… I’m guessing you did all the students paintings, right? I’m a fan of Blake’s!
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Shart, lol.
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Katarina looks so relatable in class while Ms Summers is talking, meanwhile that idiot behind her looks far too excited. My guess is he’s on drugs? Amirite?
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Oooh, what’s going on now? Is she just remembering or hallucinating? I like the look of this scene, you’ve somehow made it look like the “memory” has a filter on it, but yet Katarina is still separate from it. It looks like she’s seeing what we’re seeing.
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And now in the hallway, it’s the same effect but with a dark filter… Well, not a filter… I’m guessing an overlay? And you’re changing the opacity. Doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s working!
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“Don’t worry, it’s just blood”.I repeat… “Don’t worry, it’s just blood” Hmm, ok. Seems legit
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And now he’s kissing her? Hahahaha what the heck is going on?
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I’m done. Selina shows up and I’m just done. I’m not worthy enough to read… Oooh, creepy hand!
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OH! You little sneaky, I see what you did there with a dream… You really had me going there.
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Girl. you’re spotting in the cafeteria is on point.
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I know I said I was done before, but now I mean it… You seriously went to all the effort to create a speechbubble just so you can have them speak at the same time? I mean, I know it might not seem like that big of a deal, but it is. It’s just that level of attention to detail that I can appreciate.
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Forgot to mention before I love the mirror in Katarina’s bedroom. The pictures hanging over it is again, amazing attention to detail.
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It looks sooooo realistic when Katarina and Abigail walk down those stairs.
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Art scenes aren’t really my thing, but I can’t get passed how realistic-y and limelight-y Alexander’s clothes look!
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…Vampires?
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I’m really loving these 1689 scenes
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It’s nice you updated the behind the scenes section. Especially with Katarina’s dream tab. I don’t think I picked up on all the hints though, lol.
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Not that I was going to, but I see you put the end of episode 2 on a loop to stop me from continuing…Smart choice as I’ve mentioned before I am a rebel… BUT… You know I can just get to episode 3 if I just click on the navigation button, right?
Also worth noting, I did actually watch with sound up (rare for me, but you said it was important so I did it) and I found everything perfectly timed.
And I agree with everything you’ve said here. You’ve not only outdone yourself, but you’ve paved a nice path for a Pine Hollows series. It’s going to be epic…
Just remember to check the gains with the dressing game, because yeah, when I clicked on the flags, it had every hair and outfit option highlighted and I’m not sure if you had plans for that or not…
6 Likes
Lol.
- Yeah, that was the intention, but I changed the title long time ago
- I was making the intro for several days actually, there were a lot of options, but eventually this came, and I’m really proud of it.
-blush so much lol…
-hahah. Actually the code is made the way, that you can’t press “go with it” if you haven’t changed at least once
got ya! - ok, I’ll fix that engage thing
- behind the scenes was a funny thing. So why this idea came to me: first of all, last night I was watching “behind the scenes” youtube videos about some movie, and also the next morning I read one of your reviews where you were bashing someone for author note
-Katarina is British, but it’ll be more clear further.
-bench scene…well I might look into it more carefully. I was changing spot commands a lot there.
-I didn’t make paintings :DDD Google - hahaha your dream reaction got me laughing a lot, and I’m at the office now lol
- I was super crazy about all overlays, and actually spend like half of the time just creating backgrounds and overlays.
-thanks for the flag thing I’ll fix it.
Yeah, thanks a lot for your review, I was waiting for it badly
I’m pretty sure about directing things, I was more curious and not sure about characters’ personalities. But I guess there weren’t major problems.
Thanks a lot: slight_smile: I definitely feel more sure about the story,
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DAMN! I should have checked that!I feel bad that I underestimated you by thinking you wouldn’t have included that limit on allowing me to have Katarina where her pj’s
Me? Bashing people for author notes? Whaaat? 
Lol true. And I very much appreciate when someone thinks up a creative alternative.
I am so sorry about the review of literally two episodes (lol) taking so long. No joke, (here comes my totally irrelevant explanation) water started leaking out from my bathroom ceiling in two different places so I got ~DiStRaCtEd~
Oops, I feel like I should have commented more on characterisation, but I was too amazed by the directing ahahaha. I would have pointed out if I did find something off about a personality though, so the fact that I didn’t is a good sign hahaha. I just thought they were all very well rounded (from what I saw)
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I’m very happy and I mentioned u in a shoutout in the behind the scenes too, but i guess u didnt go that far too bad i didnt finish the third chapter, but I intend to publish it next week, so it’s fine
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Did you miss my screenshot? Hahahaha
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what screenshot?
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