Amberose's Live Thoughts on Your Stories

@Shona4b @black_jack - Adventurous: Adventure House

  • Not really find of the author note, I’ll be honest. I understand why you do it though. When it’s a co-worker thing, it’s tempting.

  • Gah, thank you for CC ing my twin that way!!! Points to you guys.

  • Ooh, MC is preggers? Interesting :smirk:

  • I am a little surprised the gold chain gift wasn’t added to the outfits.

  • There was one tiny typo- you can fix this and it won’t affect the contest. MC when talking to her twin in the flashback says “planed” instead of “planned”.

  • It felt like a bit of a weird spot to end episode one, since we’re still in the flashback, but decent length overall and I’m definitely picking up on the horror concept.

  • You need to spot direct the speechbubbles for your second author’s note.

  • Woah @ beginning of episode 2! How did you do that hallway scene?

  • Just so you know, the filter is still on through the intro though.

  • The doctor gets stuck on a looping animation while Derek and MC are talking so it looks like she’s talking over them

  • Uh, for the funeral… It would probably be better to have them all change into black clothes, since it’s a good way to tell the reader what’s going on… I’m not sure if this counts as a “big change” though.

  • OOoooooh GHOST!

  • Nick also gets stuck on a looping talk animation. It looks like he’s talking over MC… and then after that, MC does the same thing.

  • Ooof awkward moment when your hand overlay doesn’t match my skin tone :grimacing:

  • When the friends all come over, they head to the couch and they sorta shrink too much too quickly. There’s also a few layering issues at this part too.

  • Maybe change some of the friends to be doing rear animations when MC is talking? They don’t really look like they’re looking at her.

  • The house flashing looked really cool.

  • Don’t stay after dark? Oooh, I thought that it was already dark tbh

  • Back in the present scene, something odd happens to the spot placement. MC is kinda small and looks like she’s not standing in the scene. It ruins the illusion of the background, I’m afraid.

  • Oooh, yeah… Episode 3 did feel a bit on the short side, I’m sorry to say. I’m guessing the dead line got a bit on top of you? It happens to everyone. I am curious if you guys will move it to horror once the contest is over though?

I really think it was a good effort. You didn’t have too many errors (just those pesky looping animations) and it was nice to see a fresh take on the contest. I really love that it took a more horror approach to the theme. I always find it oddly satisfying when MC is already in a relationship hehe.


Thank you so much for your thoughts! Because the deadline came up on us, chapter 3 and some corrections were delayed to after we published. Thank you for joticing the spelling mistake, I probably skimmed RIGHT over it! :joy::joy:

Hopefully the overlay worked in the scene you were talking about (if we are talking about the same one)

The looping thing is something that happens in a lot of stories, but it can be hard to use looping actions because everyone reads at different paces and all that. (Tho I completely understand) I sometimes ignore those :joy::sweat_smile:

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Fair enough, the deadlines are such a pain sometimes hahaha.

Is this the hallway you’re talking about??

Limelight animations are the worst for looping. I’ve got it drilled in my head to format dialogue like this:

BLACKJACK (looping_animation)
Blah blah blah.
&BLACKJACK is idle_animation
SHONA (looping animation)
Blah blah blah.
Takes up a few more lines, but worth it to make sure all their lips stay closed hahahaha

Good luck in the contest :slight_smile:

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Thank you so much! I hope we do well too.

And yes, that is a good idea, I’ll think to use it next time.

Also, random thing, I really like you and wanna be your friend (weird and random, I know :joy:) do you also have Insta? If not thats Ok. And if ya dlnt wanna be friends thats okay too!

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Also I failed to mention this, but yea, * think we are planning on changing it to horror afterwards

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Thank you so much for your review, and I have observed errors and I will definitely correct those and move the story to horror after the contest.

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Naww, thank you. This is how all good friendships start :hearts: My IG is amberose.episode

And I think horror is a good move for you and @Shona4b, like you both have said you will do. The Adventure genre is gonna be packed after this contest and the horror genre is starving right now lol

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Thanks!! I’ll contact you right away!! :joy:

True.:grinning: Thank you so much again.

1 Like its not finished meaning its PASS FREE and keep in mind ITS NOT finished so their still are errors but otherwise thanks! its called here comes trouble and its mostly comedy/romance (deals with abuse incase thats a trigger. my splash for that warning is still being reviewed)

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Announcement - Trying to be more organised lol

So… I have been very busy basically from January to March in my real life. Which sucked, since I am so used to having nothing to do at work hence why I am always online.

However now with things under control in my real life, I have time to catch up on my forum life. I know a lot of you are going to read this and tell me not to feel bad about falling behind and that my real should come first, blah blah blah, but I do feel bad that I let my waiting list get so backed up, so don’t tell me not to feel my feelings or I’ll flag you!

Anyway, it’s sorta been something I’m aware of for a while now and kinda bugging me too that out of a few of the reviews I managed to squeeze out amongst by busy period, some haven’t actually been acknowledged by the person who requested it. I know people get busy (because I am one of them, duh) or go inactive or just don’t come on to forums very much, but I’ve been feeling bad that I’ve done reviews for people who haven’t even seen it when there are people in the waiting list who are online and who I interact with every day. I’m not sure if my thought process makes sense right now, but it makes sense to me and that’s what counts.

So… to get myself more organized and back in the game, I’m just going to tag a few people who requested a while ago, just to make sure you’re still in the community basically.
@shanen @LiaLopez @Abimations4 @STEFFI01 @CosmicIvy @avajosefine @LunaMarieRose. If you guys could just like this post or reply to let me know you’re still keen, I’d really appreciate it :slightly_smiling_face: Alternatively, if you don’t want a review for any reason, let me know :v:

I still have every intention of doing all the reviews on my wait list, but if someone I’ve tagged replies right now and the person above them hasn’t been online in 2 weeks and doesn’t come online for another 2 weeks… Well, then it doesn’t really matter if I keep them waiting longer then, does it? Bahahaha :joy:

Thanks for understanding, everyone. I really do love doing reviews and honestly sometimes I get really overwhelmed by how kind and patient everyone is to me on this thread :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I’m very lucky.

Also, nearly @ 1000 replies :scream:


I would still love the review :slight_smile:

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Totally get what you mean in the post above. I have been coming back regularly just to check if you are up to my story yet, only because I’m super keen on your review. I read your reviews on other stories here and it’s so detailed. Just love it! I think I will probably be up to writing chapter 6 and beyond by the time you get around to reading my story, but it is totally worth the wait! :pray::hearts::heart_eyes:

Congrats on nearly 1,000 replies!! :clap::partying_face::two_hearts:

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1000 bishesssssssss


Ah, thank you so much. It really means a lot to me :relieved: Honestly, probably more proud of my review thread than my own stories hahahaha :joy:


I enter to the forum every day, lol. :joy:

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XD I was waiting for a post like this :funnyclap:


Me for the past few days seeing it creep up, like :eyes:


Would love your input still :blush:

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Oh you popping popping :smirk:

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