Do you still want me to review the rest? 
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I would be really happy if you did, but honestly Im glad that you read that much and gave feedback of it too. But it would be awesome regardless, but I dont want to take any more of your time. Thank you again♡
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No, don’t be like that. I love reviewing stories, I’m happy to read more
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In that case yes!
Thank you
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@epi.lynne444 - The Dangerous Fight
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Please please please don’t start your story with an authors’s note! I’m begging. I know you might feel like you need to put a disclaimer because it’s your first story and english is not your first language but you don’t. The fact that you are coding a whole story in another language to what you’re used to is a big deal and you should be proud of that.
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There was a little transition error in the school hallway. Caitlyn was checking her phone and then the fade in happened. If you want it to flow naturally you need to place her there wait an & instead of @ and then add your transition on the next line
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I feel like something was off with the spotting in the cafeteria… The background characters were great but when you zoom out Caitlyn seems so much smaller. It is a tricky background to use since the tables are not overlays, but I would recommend avoiding the zoom out
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James says “I thought u would look away” - it’s probably best to avoid text talk and say “I thought you would look away”
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When they leave James’ room, they don’t fully leave the screen and the reader can see them standing at the edge before the transition happens
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Your characters say “K” a lot, lol
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Ooh skeleton at the graveyard can’t be a good sign
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I still just want to urge you not to have an author’s note. In episode 2, the length was not bad so you don’t need to be sorry
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The fight scene at the beginning of episode 3 might be considered a bit excessive. I would cut it down if I were you. It also makes me feel a bit uncomfortable that her opponent is a man. Everytime he punched, it looked like it was straight to her face
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When Catelyn walks up to Don at the shops, maybe have her walk_rear so it looks more natural
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The scene where Catelyn says it’s closing time might actually be a bit pointless. I think you can skip straight to her in the kitchen and it would be fine.
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When James entered, he was really big for a second and then kind of jumped into place. I’m not sure what you have in your script but you might want to check it and adjust it.
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The fight at the beginning of four was way too much violence for episode guidelines. You will need to cut it down a lot
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When Catelyn gets dressed the next morning, she doesn’t go into the same spot, so when she leaves the room it looks as though she’s cutting through the furniture
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There was a couple of layering issues when the waitress left. The BG was in front of her so she looked like she walked in between him and his chair.
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When they move to the bedroom, James and Catelyn aren’t actually kissing on the lips until they turn around…
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The next morning, there’s a lag between the cut to zone 3 and then appearing in the bed. Try spot placing them with an & symbol instead of @
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James wasn’t facing Catelyn when they stood up out of bed the next morning
Ok so ultimately there’s a few things that would need polishing in my opinion. It’s like you have a good understanding of directing, but there were just a few very small minor errors that can be distracting to some readers. I still really want to stress that you don’t need the author notes at all. Lol. And I feel like you should condense your fight scenes and just kind of tame them a bit. The plot was not really my cup of tea as I’m not much of an action or romance reader usually, but I know this would be a hit with the majority of readers on the app 
So keep it up
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Thank you!
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That was a quick reply lmao, you’re welcome
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Lmao😂, I was on the forum and I saw that I had a notification so yeah lol.
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@aprilish - Sidereal
Ahhhhh I’m so excited! I love moments like this. You were the first review I did and now you’re back being all awkwardly formal because we’re friends 
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I like that you’ve given the alien MC unnatural hair colour. That’s cute.
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Oooh the lipstick!!!
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The silhouette chats gets, even though they were only there for a second, looked cool
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There was like a milli second delay where love interest wasn’t on the screen
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The space background moving is a really nice touch.
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Ummmm are Amy and Savannah meant to be related to Felix? Because their skin tone is very different to what I chose for him
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The way you’ve positioned Felix to look like he’s looking out of a cruise ship balcony was quite clever and I love how Dahlia appeared. If you really wanted to be extra, you could animate the water too
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Good length for episode 1
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Ah, I can’t help but feel like there’s something off with how it looks when Felix swims over to her… I think it’s because there’s no significant difference in opacity of the ocean, so it looks like he’s head is also under water… Unless that’s what you were going for?
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Moist dress
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Ah necklace transmitters… I didn’t even notice they were all wearing the same necklaces… Don’t you wish there was at least one necklace for both male and females?
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Ok, so they are Felix’s family
You’re really going to want to fix up that skin tone thing -
Oooh I guess I’ve got my eye on Savannah now
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…and Betty
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Damn, you spoke directly to me with that comment about author notes lol. Side note: did people really want to kill you about the ending of silhouettes?
So other than the mismatched skin tones of family members, I can’t really fault this. It’s cute. The characters are likeable and easy to ship. Plus you’ve got more than just a budding romance going on too with the scientists and other aliens on earth. I’m so keen to see where you take this. Nice job 
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Ahhh thank you so much, Amberose!! 
This was so helpful! You’re right—I completely forgot to add the code for changing Amy and Savannah’s skin tone, but I’ll make that change right away! As for the glitches with the water…I’m really not sure how to fix that. I was just hoping that no one would notice but that isn’t really the best way to go about it…
About Silhouettes: yes, I got the most horrific death threats and accusations on how I was making everyone cry. (okay maybe that’s a wee bit exaggerated but you get the idea xD
Anyhow, thank you so much for this extremely helpful review! I’ll definitely work on making those changes! You’re the best! 
Okay this probably isn’t the right place to put this but is that you in your profile picture?! Also, your name—Phoebe yayyy!!!
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You’re welcome 
Where I said Felix looked completely under water?
If that’s what you’re talking about, I’d just duplicate the water overlay and then have Dahlia at layer 0, the first ocean layer at zone 1, Felix at layer 2 and the second water overlay at layer 3 and position it so that the water only goes up to his waist or chest?
Was that not your goal? To make every one cry? 
Yep, it’s me 
And nice catch there 
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Ahhh that makes sense, I’ll definitely try it out! Thanks yet again :’)))
And yep, that was my goal—you caught me! 
Omgg okay I can’t see you too clearly but it’s nice to finally be able to put a face to the forum queen 
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Hey, any chance I could be added to the waitlist? Here’s my story info:
Title: Out of my Element (LL)
Author name in app: Kenya
Genre: Action
Style: LL
Chapters: 5 (ongoing)
Story bio: Lee was taught that emotions make her weak. But when evil targets her home & friends, & she discovers her lost power, she needs to learn how to embrace those emotions to save both
Cover: still pending review but:
Story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6368011338448896
I saw somewhere that you said you generally don’t like action stories too much so sorry if this feels like a task for you to read lol😂
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HAHAHAHA 
I’m on the hunt for ones I enjoy though!
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On second thought, you dont have to😅 i dont like my story anymore. Its more like a game than a story anyway🙄 but thank you💗
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@nellyy.epi - Falling For Bad
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For some reason, I didn’t think this was going to be a full CC story… Is that weird?
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I have no idea what cyclothymia disorder is
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With Kyle… your goto label sends the reader back to his intro, so we get the “This is Kyle” speech each time.
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It’s just a personal preference, but like… I hate having to CC so many characters before actually starting the story
I know most readers love this, but mum and dad walking on screen for CC just made me feel kinda deflated. -
So in this first kitchen scene, I can’t tell if Helen is supposed to be standing behind Kate or is she’s just supposed to be taller. If it’s the former, move Helen back a layer. If it’s the latter, try scaling her bigger as her feet placement look like she is standing further back.
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Leading up to Kate’s room, after the cafeteria, Kate and Kyle both look sort of odd? I think it’s just because they’re growing smaller as they walk, but facing the screen. They should probably be rear walking.
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In your template for hair and lipstick, your “try other colours” for the lipstick button is not at the bottom of all the options. It doesn’t really affect anything, but just thought you would like to know.
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So with the background you’ve picked for the dance, just be mindful of your scaling. Your background characters look rather large in comparison to the chairs in the background. And this is just something I’m being nitpicky about but the default outfit for Kyle’s supposedly best friend is so distracting to me haha. I feel like something a bit more formal would be better suited for the occasion anyway
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Kyle is stuck doing the talk_awkward_loop animation while Jennifer is talking.
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That final scene of episode 1 is… WTF. Oh my godddd
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Did we need to repick the dress in episode 2 because you didn’t have gains?
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Thoroughly enjoyed this murial painting mining game. The wrong choice options made me laugh.
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I think the detail in your background characters here is really great too. They all have the right look for the kind of outcast group
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You may want to consider/should add a trigger warning for when they talk about what Jayden did to Stella. The way Ace mentioned it seemed way too casual and so it kinda shocked me a bit. I know it was only a couple of lines of dialogue, but gah. I can’t stand people getting away with that in a fictional world
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Ace saying he would save space on his body was a smooth line. Damn
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Oh geez, this just got a bit dark. I’d definitely recommend those trigger warnings.
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Wow, this story with Stella and Jayden really came full circle
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Kate is standing a layer behind the blood overlay so when she walks in the middle of Jayden and Ace, she walks through that blood
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Ummm… I’m a little confused, did Ace just shove Kate or did he push her to the wall to kiss? Because if it’s the latter, I feel like you’d need to make that smoother/clearer or else it looks like he hurt her, you know?
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Ooof, beginning of Episode 5 is going to get you in trouble with the guidelines. Probably better to keep them kissing each other’s lips…
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The water overlays around Kate and Ace’s bodies in the water was a nice touch
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Your narrator bubble said “several time later”. Did you mean several minutes/hours later? Or did you mean “some time later?”
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Kate says/yells to John “HE HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG” - “Haven’t” should be “Hasn’t”
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Ooof end of episode 7 is, like, NSFW. Naked kissing in the shower where one character moves their head lower down on the other is so against guidelines
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Oh my god, I can’t believe I got caught. This is a cringe talk with Helen and Kate right now
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When Kate left art class after Mia was bullied, I could still see the desk overlay and because she didn’t move layers, it looked a bit warped.
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Just with Ace’s backstory… You said he was adopted by a nice couple but later that he ran from his foster parents… So there’s a bit of a discrepancy there.
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I quite like this growth now with Kate calling her parents and appreciating them a bit more. It’s sweet.
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During the flashback of Kate’s childhood, there was a point where she left the room after arguing with her mother, and she grew taller as she left but was still at the layer behind Helen.
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“How come did you guys return in a normal hour?” - I think you mean to say “How come you guys returned at a normal hour?”
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Ooof two guys crazily in love with her? How long has she been there now?
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Omigosh, spin the bottle? This should be fun, I love how you’ve set it up with the overlay
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Wow, I really didn’t see that coming haha
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I loved that transition to turning the lights off and adding that glow from the TV, it looked great
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I can’t remember if you said something about this during CC, but you’ve described Ace’s eyes as ice blue when I’ve changed them to be dark brown
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Cleaning lady
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Rose’s backstory was interesting. I wasn’t actually expecting to learn more about her lol. Is that weird?
Ok, so I’ve reached the end of episode 14 and only really have a few final notes. Your episode length was great and considering this is a pretty heavy romance-based story (which is not normally my thing), I did find it rather engaging. You probably should adjust some of those sex scenes though, try to keep characters kissing each others lips and you should be fine. One thing I kind of found throughout your whole story though was just the lack of diversity. Even though you had a lot of CC for the main characters, it just felt like every slightly important or supporting character that was introduced to the story was very pale… I feel like the shop assistant who helped with Kate’s birthday outfit was the only character that had a speaking role who’s skin tone was darker than 02. I just don’t want you to rely on CC to make your story more diverse.
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Ohh 
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Oof, so are you ready for a review now? 
Hello, thank you so much for all of your advices 
Especially with grammar ones, because English is not my first language, and I’m struggling sometimes 
I’ve tried to fix most of the things you’ve told me about, such as bugs and grammar.
Also, I’m trying to adjust the scenes, and the future episodes are going to be different.
Lastly, I feel like adding semi-CC in a story may make some people quit reading ;/ So I’d prefer to keep it that way.
Regardless, thanks again for the review 
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@daniepisodewriter - Where the Shadows Belong
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Damn, your first episode was strong. I actually didn’t type anything because I didn’t look away from my phone lol. I just think there’s a great overall vibe and the way you introduced demons was really well done.
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Alexia finding that demon hideout did kinda creepy me out though. I was expecting her to get caught there for sure
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Episode 2 felt a little bit shorter? I don’t really have much to add here, but the ending had me hooked anyway.
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I loved that reflection scene in episode 3
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The motorbike scene looked great. I was really impressed with how that turned out
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Aha, I like the way Lukas learned the truth and I like how it was handled in the end when he apologized for not believing me.
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The choice to “have fun with Talia” wasn’t quite clear to me what it meant until I chose it. I thought it was a line of dialogue I was going to be choosing, lol.
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The demi demons have such a cool way of characterizing themselves.
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I appreciate you narrating how this is not typically the type of actions that should be encouraged ie. the taking a drink from a stranger
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Omg the happy face and frog face
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Lmao, I had a feeling we’d end on that semi cliff hanger haha, nice timing there.
Overall, it’s a pretty good story. I don’t really have too many things to recommend or even say. It was very engaging and I quite enjoyed it. Keep it up
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