Any suggestions for new description to attract more readers?

Hey! I already have a description for my story, Blades of Desire by Giselle C., but I was wondering if anyone could come up with a better description?

This is my current one:

He loves you, he wants you, & he must have you. He will stop at nothing to make sure you’re his, even if it means killing anyone who comes in his way. But, do you love him? CC*(CM)

Story;

Story Name: Blades of Desire

Author: Giselle C.

Genre: Mystery/Horror/Drama/Romance

Description: He loves you, he wants you, & he must have you. He will stop at nothing to make sure you’re his, even if it means killing anyone who comes in his way. But, do you love him?

Features: Advanced directing, non-cliche plot line, choices matter, FULL character customization, unique and big closet, POC and LGBTQ characters, LGBTQ option, mini games.

Episodes: 5

Covers:

Blades_of_Desire_posterThumb_J1kh4mLA0x

Blades_of_Desire_posterImage_heaCSCtYK6

Link:

I think it looks really interesting already! I’m gonna read it when I have a chance. :hushed:

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Thank you so much!! :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:

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Mhm. I don’t think I’d read it. I love LL so much. But I will see if I like it because I don’t really feel like it is worth it.

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Excuse me? That was rude

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I don’t think it is rude. It’s more like my opinion.

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How can you tell that “it’s not worth it” if you haven’t even read it?

Opinions are based on facts. Not guesses.

Ever took a look at my comment again?

Yes, you said “I don’t really feel like it’s worth it”, meaning you don’t feel like my story is worth reading when you haven’t even seen anything of it?

I said

But I will see if I like it

Almost forgot liking comments is a habit.

Yes I saw that part, it was the one after that got me confuzzled

Just say puzzled :joy:
I’m gonna give it a try although it does not feel worth it to me. Because every story needs a try is what it means. I don’t understand why people always read the comment in a rude way.

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Well I hope you enjoy anyways, I admire your attitude :joy::heart:

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I’m fierce :wink:
But I’m sure I will love it :heart_eyes:

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That you are! I wish I was honestly :frowning: I hope you do!! I put months of effort into it so I hope it meets your expectations :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::sparkling_heart:

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I’m sorry to say but it feels cliche, Idk why. Probably because of the description or the cover. Idk, I’m having some mafia vibes as a first impression. Although you do mention that the story is non-cliche, the description gives me a feeling that he’s a mafia/serial killer.

I’m telling you this because your description may ruin the readers’ first impression. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you…

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Would you please help me come up with a better one then please? And it is about a cerise killer, it does involve someone from an ex mafia, but the plot in general is unique :slight_smile:

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I’m reading the story to figure out the plot.

I’ll discuss with you after reading.

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