Anyone Have Feedback On My Story The Young Actress?

community

#1

Yes, I gave opened a thread on this, but no one has replied to it in soooo long! So does anyone have Feedback on my story, “The Young Actress”?


Thoughts On My First Story - The Young Actress
#2

I will check it out! Are you interested in doing a read for read


#3

Yes. What’s yours called??


#4

Fantastical: The Mermaid
Author: Rahdia



#5

Okay, I’ll read it!


#6

I will start yours right now
Do you have the link?


#7

Thanks, I think we’ll get along well! Maybe we could even be friends! If you’re interested.


#8

Hi! I read your story and it was great. There were a few glitches like when they were at dinner and they were under the table.
Also I felt like the story was a little too rushed. The pregnancy happened a bit too soon. At first in the beginning, I had no clue what was going on. The storyline was all over the place.
I like that you added choices but there I felt like they didn’t affect a change in the story. If you add more I feel like this story could be much better.

I did like it though! And boy, Emma is thick!
Why was her ass so fat! Lol!
It was a great story overall.


#9

Thanks for this! And I’ve been reading yours it’s awesome!


#10

Thank you!


#11

If you want to see a better looking version of The Young Actress, check out the original:


This is the original Ink Version!