Asking for review

Hello guys I just published my first story… I dont know if its good or not… If anyone check it I’ll be glad :blush: :blush: Story is PEARL by lu_na_epi… please let me know if you like it :heart::heart::heart:

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Hello guys I just published my first story… I dont know if its good or not… If anyone check it I’ll be glad :blush: :blush: Story is PEARL
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4736027883405312

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I will definitly

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Mind If I give some feedback?

sure

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So, It had a lot of stuff what bothered me, firstly transitions maybe try to change it to different number than 0 maybe 1 etc. Then dialogue, as a girl I really don’t call everybody hun maybe like honey or something. Then there were LOT’S of mistakes about this -> Thats = That’s. Outfit choices were meh…
Spotting,sized etc. wasn’t great… It seemed like quickly made story and tbh I didn’t like it :sweat_smile:

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thanks…its my first story soo im kinda learning…I’ll try to do better… :blush:

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Practice makes perfect :heart:

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Hey I’ll check it out if you want me to <3

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sure

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