☔️ Avalie’s First Impression Reviews Corner ☔️

Heyo! I know none of you may know me as I have been quite the ghost in Episode forums for the entirety of my account’s existence, but a quick introduction: I am Avalie, a reader and an aspiring writer here on Episode!

So anyways, I have been on the forums enough to notice that a ton of authors are seeking for help when it comes to their stories. And lately, I’ve also been noticing the lack of review threads, so… here I am! I made this to help new authors improve their stories more. Though I may not be that experienced, I am willing to learn from this and I am willing to help you guys improve! :>

So as you guessed it from the title, I will be reviewing first chapters as I don’t have much time on my plate, of which the reviews will solely be based on my first impression.

BUT—there’s a twist. There will be two types of reviews you can request!

Type 1 is basically just a normal first chapter and first impression review.

While Type 2, on the other hand, is the same but with a twist. After reviewing your story, in the end of my review, I will determine whether I want to continue reading your story or not based on my first impression. If I do choose to continue reading your story, I will provide a review for the first three chapters of your story overall! This type is a bit more on the brutally honest side and takes a bit more time to review. (The reviews come separately!)

So without further ado, here’s the form!

Title:

Author:

Style:

Genre:

Description:

Link:

Type of Review:

Cover (optional):

Password:

Extra Notes: (Things you want to tell me before I review your story)

All reviews will be posted here. Thank you!

Type 1 Waitlist

None.

Type 2 Phase 1 Waitlist
  1. @beckybee.episode
  2. @Lizzie.epi
  3. @shronus0201
  4. @Summi
  5. @writerren
  6. @selvinachen61
  7. @calinight
Type 2 Phase 2 Waitlist
  1. @TamiRose

Password: Rain

2 Likes

Author: TamiRose
PW: Rain
Type of review: 2

Deadly Secrets

A vampire loves her. Her best friend’s a Werewolf. Her parents? Magically royal. Only one thing. Delilah doesn’t even know. Her world, is not as she knows. Will she accept fate?

Lost Summer Love

Crazy love. Wacky friends. Unnecessary drama. How will Evan and Sierra make it through this crazy thing called, life

1 Like

Hi @TamiRose! Thank you for requesting, but I will only review one story per request to make it fair for others. Which story would you like me to review?

That’s ok, I know some usually have a preference of genre. Let’s do Lost Summer Love :blush:

1 Like

Request accepted! :slight_smile:

Thank you :blush:

1 Like

T: "CAUSELESS"
A: Elizepisode
S: Limelight
G: Comedy
D: It was enough to have Evie back. Now what? A friend betrayal.An unexpected half brother.A spionage report. & 2 Impossible loves.
What she did to deserve this? Threaten teachers.

More of the description:Raina’s new scenarios will bring self discovery. Every thing she deal with will leave her with a good/bad teach. Throug the hurtful memories her sister bring with, there will be an important decision to make: stay in the past or move on just like everything around her.
ToR: 2
PW: Rain
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6420401277763584
EN: It’s not a romantic story. You get to meet -formally- the main love interest until chapter 5 (Not out, yet.) Its a slow read story. That why I decided to make the second kind of review, because the first chapter is not that impacting. It focuses more on how a normal day for Raina was like.
:blush:

C:

2 Likes

Hi :blush: Here is my story :two_hearts:
Title: Set me on fire
Author: Lizzie C.
Style: Limelight
Genre: Drama, Romance
Description: Ellen’s a young and ambitious girl with a bright future. What will happen when she meet HIM? Arrogant billionaire with a broken soul. Will she set his heart on fire or he’ll darken her soul? Story based on a true events. [CC, ART, choices matter]
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5894277082447872
Type of Review: 2
Story cover:


Password: Rain
Extra Notes: I’m not in a rush, so my main character is meeting her love interest only in 2 episode. Their relationship will be slowly developing .

1 Like

Request accepted!

1 Like

Request accepted! :slight_smile:

1 Like

This review was made for the purpose of helping the author improve. Take note that this review is solely based on my honest opinion and it is not intended to offend the author or hurt their feelings in any way.

Lost Summer Love

First Look (Title, Cover, Summary): The title is simple yet intriguing; whilst the cover is also simple and well done, I feel like it does not exactly stand out as there are many other similar covers out there. The description was able to give me a glimpse of what to expect in the story and it did not reveal too much of the plot which got me more interested. Good job! (8/10)

Start of Story: The introduction of Sierra’s character was on point and helped me understand her persona throughout the first chapter! Though, I would have preferred it if there wasn’t an introduction to her character as I would be more interested to find out more about her if there wasn’t one. And as the saying goes, “Show, never tell.” The first scene showing her thoughts got me hooked! But as this scene is supposed to be emotional, I feel like it would help people connect more to the story’s setting if there were music/sounds (for example, sounds of a beach) to set the mood right on the spot! And personally, I feel like it would be better if her thoughts were said in a narrator bubble because that would direct the reader’s attention more to what is being said. (7/10)

Introduction to Plot: I think the introduction to the sub-plot of this story was more emphasized than the introduction to the actual plot of the story in the first chapter. Wherein, it would show her being bullied and standing up for herself and whatnot (the sub-plot). I can’t exactly tell the exact plot from the first chapter, but I personally feel like it’s a bit cliche (popular dude falling for the outcast), but add your own uniqueness or twist to it and you’ll be good! (7/10)

Directing: Directing is pretty standard but there a few errors here and there. There is a layering error when Hazel and Rose were walking to Sierra in the outdoor cafeteria wherein Rose was walking under the dude with dreadlocks. There are also a few pop-up errors wherein characters suddenly pop up out of no where, like in the party, so I suggest using & when coding instead of @ in these types of situations. Dialogues were placed right but their tails would sometimes be pointing at someone who’s not the speaker. Animations could use a bit of work, especially at the end of animations. Sometimes, it looks kinda weird when they are stuck at the end of their previous animation after they are done talking. I’d recommend them doing other animations which do not involve talking as a reaction to the speaker so that they don’t look stagnant. I also think there was an error after Kels was walking towards the two boys, wherein she was stuck at the end of her animation when she should be talking. (6/10)

Creativity (Sound, Overlays, etc.): I did not notice much overlays used in the story which is a bit of a downer. As for the music, there was a lack of it and it was only used on certain scenes. To set the mood right depending on the scene, I suggest adding more music to add more color. There was also point where two pieces of music were colliding which made it sound kinda off, I think in the party scene? When going to a next scene using a different piece of music, use music off or sound off (depending on what you use) so it will sound better. Also, if I take too long on a certain scene with music, the music suddenly stops which kinda ruins the mood, so I suggest putting it on loop by using music instead of sound and put music off once the scene ends. Other than that, I also loved the splashes used! (6/10)

Characters: I love Sierra’s character development! She was this outcast at school but she turned into this badass person who would stand up for herself, of which I really enjoyed. I also love Kelsey, God, everybody should have friends like that. And sue me, but these mean girls are kinda likeable for me because I find them funny. There was also a lot of diversity within characters, so good job! My only problems would be the usage of stock characters, and Evan’s persona as he is kind of a bland and boring LI. But of course, this is just the first chapter, so yeah. (8/10)

Grammar: The grammar was good! There were only a few minor errors here in there when it came to punctuation, but it did not distract me from the story in any way. Good job (9/10)

Interactivity: There weren’t much choices in the chapter. But if more choices would harm the direction of the plot, I suggest adding choices that won’t change the direction but add more to the depth of the plot so that readers would be more engaged. (6/10)

Length: The length of the chapter was good! It wasn’t too long nor too short, so good job! (10/10)

Reader Enjoyment: This type of story usually wouldn’t be my cup of tea, wherein there is a nerd, her crush, and the mean girl(s). But once Sierra stood up for herself, I was amazed and hooked. Not much stories that utilize this plot make the ‘nerds’ stand up for themselves, and I have been waiting for someone to do so in their story for a long time. This made me enjoy the first chapter a lot, and I want to thank you for having her stand up for herself! (8/10)

First Impression Score: 76/100

Will I continue reading and reviewing it?

I will! I’m intrigued to see what will happen with the plot, and I guess you could say you did a good job on leaving me on the edge. You should probably expect that your next review would be a bit late as I am really busy. But yeah, good job!

Thank you for requesting!

Thank you for the review :blush: I’ll look over all you’ve mentioned.

I think there’s a glitch in regards to the popping up and layers because I use the & symbol and I’ve triple checked the layering. I’ll go over them again but I’m not sure what else I can do at this point :sweat_smile:

Hmmmm Evan is a little bland? :weary: My intention was to make him seem like the calm and laid back type of guy but have him become more open, etc in future chapters. Does this make sense? :thinking:

Well, thank you for checking it out and happy that you’ll continue it :heart_eyes_cat::blush:

1 Like

No problem! And as regards to Evan, well, I just read the first chapter so I couldn’t really pinpoint his exact persona :sweat_smile:, again it was more of my first impression of him. But I am looking forward to see his personality develop in future chapters. :smile:

Hey! I would like a review! :slight_smile:

Title: What You’ve Always Wanted

Author: Shronus

Style: Limelight

Genre: Romance

Description: Her life was turned upside down in one day. Who can she ever trust again? It was until a secret mission that led her into the inevitable path of love, lust, and betrayals. [CC, LL]

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5775709003120640

Type of Review: 2

Cover (optional):

Pass: Rain

Extra Notes: N/A

Thank you! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like

I gotcha, still it’s something to consider from a readers POV. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the next chapter. Thank you :blush: :sunglasses:

1 Like

Title: I’m in love with a faitytale
Author: Merlin Romantic
Style: LL
Genre: Romance
Description: A girl from a small village escapes to the bigger city and mets her biggest celebrity crush. Can she handle the city life?
Link:


Type of review: 2
Password: Rain
Extra notes: The story is not published. 6 episodes.

1 Like

Request accepted! :slight_smile:

Request accepted!

1 Like

My cover. I don’t know why its background is so dark when i upload it here. Originally it’s white with colors.

Summary

1572621026260

1 Like

Hi, I’d like to request a review if you have time please :blush:

Title: All That Remains

Author: Ren

Style: Ink

Genre: Adventure

Description: Will Lily be able to save the lives of herself and her people on a planet that was almost completely destroyed by an asteroid impact over 400 years ago? (Full CC) (M/F LI)

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6232182390849536

Type of Review: 2

Cover (optional):

Password: Rain

Extra Notes: (Things you want to tell me before I review your story): None

1 Like