BatGirl's Feedback For Your Stories - Honest Review

I’m @Bat.Girl. In this thread, I will review your story.

Keep in mind that I will be as honest as possible. YOU ARE DOING THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK!

To get a review, here’s what you need to do.

You need to tell me:

  • Title
  • Author
  • Description
  • Covers (both of them. You MUST attach pictures)
  • Number of chapters
  • Genre
  • Style
  • A link to your story (optional)

I WILL NOT be reviewing a story if you leave out any of this information (except for the link).

IMPORTANT:
If your story has more than 3 chapters, I WILL ONLY BE READING THE 1ST 3 CHAPTERS. If it has 3 or less, I will read the whole story.

The review will look some-what like this:

Things I liked

Improvements

Script / Spelling Errors

Once I review your story, I will tag you in it, so you get a notification.

Keep in mind, you don’t have to follow any of the advice I give you. I WILL NOT be offended.

Waiting List

Clue: Without A Trace @Problematic_Patrick
Beyond Repair @Geegtfo
Ghost Of Mona @Shivali

Reviews I have already done

Temperamental @sam.c
i-Robin @DanDuck

I have no specific time frame, in which I will give you a review. Do not panic if I gave someone a review in a day & you got one in a month, I might be very busy one week & not busy the next.

I can’t wait to review your story!

5 Likes

Hey I’d love if I could get a review for my first story! :innocent: (I would love to hear your constructive criticism)

LINK: https://www.episodeinteractive.com/s/i/6551964166455296

Story: Temperamental
Author: Sam & Renae
Genre: Romance/Drama
Style: INK
Episodes: 3
Description: Victoria Hartley will do whatever it takes to leave her past behind. What will she do when fate has other plans involving Jackson Kingsley.
Instagram: @renae.sam.epy

Cover

Hoyy Batgirl (secretly fanboying), thanks for offering to do a review thread!


Title: i-Robin (LINK)
Author: DanDuck
Description: In 2050, where technology advances, what challenges will Robin, a female humanoid, face along with all the dramas?
Number of chapters: 4
Genre: Adventure
Style: Spotlight / Limelight

Covers

Temperamental by @sam.c

Things I liked:

Chapter 1

  • I liked how you didn’t give everything away in the 1st chapter.

  • I loved the scene when the MC is looking in the mirror. Nice script writing!

  • I loved how you used click-able overlays.

  • I love the mystery around Victoria.

Chapter 2

  • I loved how you used zooming to build tension, in the scene where Victoria & Jackson run into each other.
  • I LOVED the scene where the principle was singing & dancing while Victoria, Jackson & Mr Gray were watching. It’s so hilarious :joy:.
  • I’m glad that I finally got to meet Diana.

Chapter 3

  • I liked how I got some insight into Jackson’s life.
  • I loved the scene where Jackson & Victoria are trying on lots of outfits.

Improvements:

Chapter 1

  • There is a scene where the MC is on a plane. Is it supposed to be a private plane? If not, I recommend that you put some background characters on the plane. To make it look more public.

Chapter 2

  • When Victoria is catching up on some shows, she types on the computer. When she types, her fingers don’t actually touch the keyboard.

Chapter 3

  • It would be nice to see more insight into Victoria’s past.

Script errors:

None that I noticed.

Conclusion:

I love the stories intro! I loved the amount of overlays & custom backgrounds that you used! It’s good that you put credits in your story. For your 1st story, I’m really impressed!

2 Likes

Aww thank you so much ! :scream: I really appreciate your feedback :innocent:

And yea in chapter 1 where tori is in the plane it’s a private jet cause she’s rich :joy: But I’ll be sure to take note of everything else so I can improve my story! Thank you again :heart:

i-Robin by @DanDuck

Things I liked:

Chapter 1

  • I liked the very beginning. It built tension.
  • I loved the idea of the story being set in the future.

Chapter 2

  • I love how the choices matter.
  • I loved the scene when Robin was lifting the weights.
  • I loved the timed choices.

Improvements:

Chapter 1

  • I was confused as to what was happening. Because it was in the spotlight style. I couldn’t see the characters doing much. I recommend that you write the story in the cinematic style.
  • There as a scene when you get to choose what coloured dress you want. The story is supposed to be set in the future. The dresses look like dresses from an EXCEEDINGLY long time ago. I suggest that you change the dresses into ones that look more modern.

Chapter 2

  • Try introducing more characters.
  • I don’t really understand what Oliver’s relation to Robin is.
  • The uniform looks incredibly old. Try finding an outfit that looks more modern.

Script errors:

None that I noticed.

Conclusion:

There were a couple of inconsistencies, but overall, it was a good story! In chapter 3, there was a choice that said skip the chapter or not skip the chapter. I accidentally clicked the skip option, so I’m not able to provide feedback for the 3rd chapter. Overall, great story!

2 Likes

Thanks for the time to come up with the feedback. I’ll take those into account and make adequate changes. :))

Your welcome.

Could you review mine? :grimacing:
TITLE : Clue: Without a Trace
STYLE : Limelight, Cinematic and some Spotlight
AUTHOR/EPISODE NAME : Problematic_Patrick
DESCRIPTION : One by one, your friends are going missing. Can you and your friends uncover who is behind it before you are next?
EPISODES PUBLISHED: 3
GENRE: Mystery
LINK : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5141884242821120
ADDITIONAL INFO/ FEATURES

  • Main Character Customization
  • Two Love Interests, one male and one female. I might make more as the story goes on though.
  • Various Minigames, Timed Choices, Chase Scenes
  • The ability to switch between/play as multiple characters
  • The point system…it will be used to determine whether you solve the case on your own or not.
  • The ability to solve the case using pieces of evidence you find along the way. This part obviously won’t really appear in episodes 1-3 as it’s too early.
  • Some choices that matter
  • Not complete, but by the end it’ll have at least two endings.
Covers

I would love for you to read my story!

Title Beyond Repair
Plot After a tragic accident Lola decides to leave her hometown hoping to find herself again. Instead she finds someone else. Is Lola capable of love or is she broken beyond repair ?
Style Ink
Genre Romance
Author Giana
Episodes 4 [and counting]
Link http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4518274726690816 3

Cover

Thank you for this thread :))
Title - Ghost of Mona
Author - Shivali
Description - Jenny thought that she was a normal girl but one night she found out that she could…
Covers -
Screenshot_20190621_160719 Screenshot_20190621_160646
Number of chapters - 5
Genre - Mystery
Style - Ink
Link - http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5459494207553536

I would love review

Title: The Star Necklace

Author: Mayah

Description : you are the most rich girl in your country in addition you’re famous but what happens when the Star Necklace uncovers your true identity

Genere: Drama

Style : ink

Number of episodes: 15

Cover :

This is the small and large cover

May i get a review?
It’s called " Black Hearts, Golden Desires"

  • Story Description: Nand,a princess of Solataria,is trained to protect her family and kingdom. What will happen if an old enemy arises for revenge?Will Nand be able to handle the storm coming her way?
  • Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5019562149478400
  • genre: Fantasy
  • Story Status: Ongoing
  • Chapters : 8
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