Hello everyone! I’m back with ANOTHER thread for you to enjoy🥰! This is a part 2 to my previous thread that I started. it had to close down due to some personal issues going on at the time. But now I’m back and would love to start reviewing stories again! As an author myself I LOVE receiving feedback from people about my stories and so I’ve decided to create a thread where I could do the same for everyone else😌! This is TOTALLY FREE of anything!! No R4R just follow these simple rules to have your story reviewed:
1. If your story is PUBLISHED please leave the author(s) name, title, and a brief description of your story 2. If your story IS NOT PUBLISHED please comment with the link, story title, author(s) 3. Please be prepared to have COMPLETELY HONEST FEEDBACK. I will not be “sugar-coding anything just to boost someone’s ego. If you KNOW FOR A FACT that you CANNOT handle such feedback then please DO NOT REQUEST A REVIEW. I don’t want to deal with temper tantrums because you didn’t like something I said 4. A ‘thank you’ is not required but it is greatly appreciated 5. I have just recently started my new job so i won’t be free every second of every day to just read stories all day everyday, on top of the fact that I HAVE A LIFE🙃 so please don’t rush your review. I won’t put a limit on how many reviews I’ll do but I’ll most likely try to do them in the order that they come in 6. If possible, post a cover of your story with your request to make it easier to find
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NOTE: These reviews will be VERY detailed to help people who actually want it, not to bring anyone down or hurt anyone’s feelings!
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I WILL READ THE FIRST THREE CHAPTERS UNLESS MORE IS REQUESTED AS TO SPEED UP THE REVIEW PROCESS!!
Any questions, comments, or ideas please feel free to comment them!
Title: Dance Party Author: Karlon Artis Genre: Drama Description: Akira Arakaki has been a professional dancer for several years, but a few subpar dance performances make him lose confidence in his talent. Can he restore his confidence? Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5516066628632576
Story Title:On The Brink Author: Seep Mukta/ @mukta.episode Genre: Drama Chapters: 3 Description: Sometimes the strongest among us smile through silent pain, and cry behind closed doors. Follow Quinn on a journey that not only teaches to be happy but also fight battles nobody knows about. Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5083506430640128
Here’s mine!
Name : Bring Me To Life
Genre : Romance
No. of episodes : 8 (more coming soon)
Description : Alessia swore to herself never to wear her heart on her sleeve again after the final straw. What happens when she meets the breathtaking Gilbert? Will she let him in?
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5731462147145728
Title: Shado
Author: Roy
Description: After tragedy, Roy returns to civilization a changed women. She begins her crusade, determined to put things right, with the help of her trusted people,waging a one-woman on crime.
Genre : Action
Style: Ink
Chapters: 10 and ongoing (You can review as much as you like.)
Instagram : @roy_episode
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5108744574074880
The directing in general was good! I didn’t have any glitches or parts of the story that didn’t seem right or were just off.
Your plot was original and so were you characters, so great job on that!
The plot was very original and that’s great, especially for the episode community!
Characters were consistent with their original personalities and traits so that’s great!
Great background use! I love to see original backgrounds!
So based on the length of each episode and the story in general, I gathered that this story in particular was a “short story”? I know from personal experience as an author how readers can get about short chapters & short stories in general so you should let them know at the beginning of the story so they don’t spam you fan mail with messages saying the story is “too short”.
As mentioned above, I know this was a short story. But even still, the dialogue was short and sort of dull.
Feeding off of the last point given, your dialogue made the story seemed rushed. There weren’t too many grammatical errors but the conversation between the characters seemed dry and forced. Try to think about how you would talk to someone in real life and apply it to your character dialogues.
Try to use different transitions throughout your story, otherwise it makes the story seemed choppy and forced together.
Translations: It is very creative and amazing to add in other languages to your story to make them different and unique . However, for the readers who don’t speak that language would need a translation would expect it to be after EVERY dialogue that was in english. You had translations for the most part but after some of the lines in the other language there weren’t translations so I couldn’t really follow the story because I didn’t know what they were saying. So just try to remember for future reference.
All stories, (even short stories) should have the proper amount of time taken on them. Do t rush your story and make sure that everything is correct and it is given the proper amount of love & care.
hi! i love receiving feedback on my story too lol, so I’d like to request a review :))
Author name/IG: Tuna/@epybruh
Title: Squad: Sleeping Dogs
Genre: Mystery
Description: Four teens find themselves forced to solve a mystery together. Will they uncover the secrets of Rochdale or will they discover it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie?
The plot is very interesting. Good plots always make for good stories.
I like the customization! It took my forever to start the story because I was having so much fun customizing lol!
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1.Transitioning is a very very very important part of writing episode stories. Without transitions it doesn’t seem like your story fits together at all. And there weren’t any transition in any of the episodes I read.
2. Dialogue is also very important to the story because that’s what the reader is reading. The dialogue throughout your story was very very short & choppy. In the first episode I believe where Asher is talking to his friend in beginning and they are talking about the new girl (which happened to be my character) he automatically says “… And she’s going to fall in love with me”. That kind of dialogue is very basic especially for a story about “bad boys” & not falling in love with them. This plot has been done over and over and over and over again on episode, not saying your story is bad because it has this plot but just try and make your story stand out from all the other stories with this plot.
3. Your scenes didn’t seem planned out at all. Like in episode 3 where Mia goes to the party. They start the game of truth or dare, in this case I chose truth (i won’t ruin the story for other readers) but then she runs out of the house and then appears right back in her bathroom . It’s very confusing and scenes like this discourage readers from continuing your story.
4. The first 3 episodes were very short . Now usually I say episode one will typically be short if you have customization (which in your case, you had 3 sets of customization) so the first episode so I could understand being short . But episode 2 & 3 were extremely short.
5. The characters had no description of themselves . At all. Now i’m not saying you should lay everything about them out in the first three episodes but you didn’t give ANY description of any of your characters. Not even basic things and that’s not the best thing to do when writing a story.
6. This goes back to transitions but when you have scenes that have time passage present in them (a.e When Mia goes to the gym) that’s where the transitions come in as well. Try adding in @transition iris out black 5 and then have her doing some workouts or something when it comes back on screen. Panning to another zone and then panning back instantaneously makes the story seemed rushed and poorly written.
7. You had such amazing ideas and scenes but they didn’t show that because they lasted all of 50 seconds when I was reading them. The characters entered the scene, talked for 35 seconds, starred at each other and then left . These kinds of episode will make readers extremely upset because they feel like they’re wasting their passes when the story is short and choppy like this.
8. Throughout the episodes I read, occasionally characters would slide into the scene (meaning they were talking while they were supposed to be entering the scene) and then would stop and do nothing while their dialogue was on screen . Try having the character that you want to speak first already in the scene . So it would look something like this in coding:
&CHARACTER stands screen right AND CHARACTER faces left AND CHARACTER starts arms_crossed
@transition fade in black 3
The “&” and the “starts” makes the character do any action you put there while the scene is being transitioned into. That way the story looks like it flows better.
9. Very small detail but still could make a difference, when having family members be part of the story (unless you plan to have your MC be adopted or something of the sort) it’s best to make them change their skin tones too so they match the color of the reader. That way, it makes the reader feel like it’s really them playing and keeps them interested.
10. Try adding some background characters in your scenes to make them feel more realistic or alive. Everyone is a background character on someone else’s life so you want to see things like that in your stories as well. & who knows ? Having those background characters there might even give you an additional idea for you story.
11. The outfit choices for ten party seemed a little too much . Like instead of going to a party with people her age, she was going to a party with people her mom’s age and they were going to some fancy ballroom gala or something . Not complaining at all just something for you to think about. Try making your outfits match your scenes.
12. In the second or third episode (can’t remember which one exactly) but the MC is talking about her parents and their ages. She says her mom is 48 and her dad is 50 and that she was born when her mom was 32 and that her mom was a teen mom. You should probably change that dialogue as it would not be true if her mother got married at 25, had the MC at 32 and then was currently 48. (Also, wouldn’t this make the MC 16 & not 15 if i’m not mistaken right ?)
This story has great potential but it was extremely rushed and therefore it doesn’t make it stand out from all the other stories that have this plot! I really think you should go back and redo your first 3 episodes and take more time on them to make them amazing because I KNOW this could be a featured story if you took more time on it and refined those rough edges.
Hey! Thank you so much for doing this!
My story: Tempting
Description: Being a rich one-hit-wonder having a bad breakup can lead you to some bad circumstances and Chicago’s most eligible bachelor. What happens when the two of you collide? LL/CC/CM
Insta: @tiff_episode
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5664934106169344
Hi
I would love a review of my story, if possible could you do 4 chapters.
IG: @Ducky.stories Author: Ducky
Title: Anxious
Description: Jenny is kind-hearted but trapped by her anxiety. Can she see she’s surrounded by people who care while an even darker secret looms over her?
Full CC & choices from ch. 4 - M/F LI
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4565278715478016
Cover:
Your directing throughout the whole story was absolutely amazing! I LOVE seeing stories with the clickable overlays and you used them in such a creative way!
Your characters were amazing! They all had personalities of their own and their dialogue ALWAYS fit them! AMAZING!
This is something that I’m working on within my stories as well but your sound choices for every scene was amazing! It gives this sort of vibe to the story that makes it so much better! GREAT JOB!
I love how you did your point system! Rebel points or Sincere points was so creative with this! I can’t wait to see where this goes!
Backgrounds and outfits were just fantastic and made the story flow together perfectly!
Did I mention how great your directing was ? Because it was amazing !
7.Great transitions!
Your use of overlays was beyond phenomenal! Especially the scene with the dog! I loved it!
The way you end your chapters are amazing and they always made me want to go to the next chapter to find out what happens next!
Very original dialogue! I love how the characters seem “self aware” meaning they know there’s an author to the story and they speak to you as though you’re one of them! I love that
The background characters made the story so alive and I love to see that! I’m working on this myself as I realize how great it makes a story look!
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Steven is a royal a*s and I don’t like him. I said what I said! (not a bad thing about the story though )
Make sure that your characters change their skin tone to match the main character.
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I have no suggestions other than to keep up the amazing work and don’t stop just because your reads don’t sky rocket like you want them to! It takes time to build that up and with the amazing work you’ve put into this story, I KNOW you’ll get the reads you’re looking for! I can’t wait for the rest of the story! If you have an instagram please leave it for me. I will be starting a story promoting page based off the stories I read and think deserve more reads and this one will definitely be on there! Keep up the amazing work love!
OHH MYY GOD!! You gave me 6 outta 6 stars!!! I’m in tears rn Thank you so much for this beautiful Review!!
Yes my ig is @mukta.episode and please drop yours too so that I can promote you
Yes, I loved your honest review of my last story. But I can’t remember if you reviewed this one I don’t think so. But, if you haven’t I would definitely love one.
Story: Dare to Kiss!
Author TamiRose
Style: LL
Genre Romance/Comedy
Description
Neoni, independently strong, confident and all about her business. But, that all changes when a nosy spy unnecessarily enters her life. Will she get rid of him or fall in love?
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I don’t think so. But, if you haven’t I would definitely love one. 
