Blunt Reviews on First Chapter

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#1

Hi there!!

I just went out of school which means I have SO MUCH FREETIME it’s crazy!

                   That's why I decided to do reviews.

I’m really not an expert, but I think I an do it just fine. I don’t ask anything in return, just be patient with me because my whole life doesn’t revolve on Episode yk?
I’m only going to read the first chapter, which in my opinion is the most important one, it’s the one that invites you to continue reading. If I absolutely love your first chapter I’ll read and review more.

I’m not gonna lie, I can be very blunt sometimes so don’t take it personal. After all this is for your improvement. :grin:

Rules
  1. Patience is a key
  2. Send the link of your story.
  3. No RUDE comments. If you don’t like the review I made you’re more than welcome to leave.
  4. Make a little summary of the story and send the title please. If you can send the name of the author that’d be great.
Waiting List

I’ll be publishing the waiting list here.

  1. Fantastical:Virtues of Destiny by S. Dsana
  2. Fantastical: Regnum Fortes by TheBigMystery
    3.Break Down my Walls
  3. Unexpected Attachment
  4. Sly by x_ellie.marie_x
  5. Fantastical- The Mermaid by Rahdia
  6. Fantastical: Silhouettes by aprilish

The only thing I’d like to ask, (also it’s not mandatory) is if anyone wants to be grateful and nice, go check my story called My Ex’s Wedding a comedy story that I’d appreciate if anyone wants to check out.
Here’s the link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4600281112379392

Happy Reviews!!


#2

Would love to get opinion on it😉
Title —> Choose!!!
Author —>@ya
Genra —> adventure
No.of Episode —> 3(complete)
Link—>


Description —> you always wanted a chance!! Ting-ding!!! You get one , but will you succeed or face defeat???
Hope you like it :slight_smile:


#3

Hey there!! Of course I’ll read it.
I think today I’ll send you the review. Would you rather have it personal or I post it here?


#4

Whichever way you want


#5

Hi, could you review my story?

Title: Life Without Jennifer
Author: Mia
Description: An accident has Jennifer torn from the world. Her loved ones are now left to learn how to live without her.
Title: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5397065844785152


#6
  1. Choose!!! by @24aya
    1. No coustumization.
    2. “But it is so much better than what it was before.”
    3. “Were my parents were”
    4. They don’t walk, to do this don’t make them do an action at the same time they’re walking.
    5. I would recommend to add sounds.
    6. “The only successful out of all of us”
    7. “You just called her crazy”
    There are a lot of spelling mistakes, I corrected some of them but you should check that out. I would also recommend to add punctuation marks to every sentence, it adds something to the story. I think your story moves way too fast, like I din’t really understand what was happening, take your time to explain and go slow, not only it would give coherence to the story but it would make your chapter ten times larger. Like the story of the MC, it’s a tragic story but since it was way too fast I couldn’t really feel bad for the MC you get me? Adding sounds will give your story a dramatic ambience too.
    The directing was good, but the spot directing in the scene of the kitchen was kind of odd. Also try to coordinate the zooms with the characters movement, you can do this with the &zoom this will make that when your character moves to another spot, the zoom follows it.
    That’s pretty much everything I could notice. Happy writing and I hope this worked :slight_smile:

#7

Thanks for reviewing it :blush:

  1. Thanks to review my grammar ,it was needed indeed☺
  2. I was thinking to add zooms I will , about sound I am not to sure😅
    3.about story being fast , it has reason though—> it’s just intro , it’s starts in Episode 2
    But i will think something to make people experience her saddeNess , thanks for the suggestion
  3. Nothing in this point , lol😄
    Thanks for advice :blush:

#8

Tittle:H & V: From Zero to Hero
Author: Dr.Smile
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4697049362202624

Thank you! I’ll check your story out.


#9

Hey @Solete ! Thanks for creating this thread! I would like a 1st chapter review! I’ll also read your story :slight_smile:
Hope you will like it! :heart:

Story title : Sandy and her Quadruplets
Author : R.J.
Genre : Comedy
Description : How can she survive with noisy and disobedient quadruplets? Will she finally find the father of her sons ? Here’s the crazy life of Sandy and her quadruplets!
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5337323130716160


#10

Life without Jennifer by Mia
Drama

I’m liking the story so far, I feel it’s a little bit rushed. Like everything happened super fast. The dad was funny af, I don’t know he reminded me of my dad so your character are approachable. I did like your story, I loved how at the ending it was all b&w that made it even more dramatic.
The only two things I would improve is adding sounds (especially at the ending where a more dramatic ambient would’ve been better) and the length of the chapter. Maybe it was short because it is the first chapter but as I said before, I felt it was very fast paced. The directing was good tho, maybe a tad simple but I understand how difficult directing is.
That’s the only things I could find. Honestly it looks like an amazing story, I’m not too big for dramas but maybe I’ll continue reading. Congrats on your great story!!


#11

Hi!! @Solete
Thank you for creating this thread.
I would like if you could review my story.

Story Title- Fantastical:Virtues of Destiny
Author- S.Dsana
Genre- Fantasy
Description- “Evil is rising, truth is surpassing but what is going to happen when they found who they really are?? What’s this going to lead to love, hate, revenge or magical encounters”
Choices Matter.
Link- http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6566802985713664

Thanks again.


#12

Hi there! Would love a review :grin:

Author: TheBigMystery
Title: Fantastical: Regnum Fortes
Genre: Fantasy / Action / Thriller / Romance
About: The Empire of Solis needs some saving! The emotionally unstable Queen of Sarcasm, Exin, and her naive, childish twin brother, Echo, team up with a bunch of lunatics! We’re doomed.
What to expect:

  • This story uses a point system! (Choices actually matter.)
  • This story has a wide variety of Love Interests! Even options for the LGBT community!
  • Some pretty rad effects! (50+ overlays and backgrounds were used!)
  • Fighting scenes!
  • Plot twists you never saw coming!
  • Diverse characters!
  • Text effects!
  • + Many more features!

Episodes: 3 (on-going)
Instagram: @thebigmystery.episode


#13

Here is my story
Title: Break Down My Walls
Genre: Action
Style: Ink
Description:You have your walls up. And no one ever comes in. But when you join a rebel gang, you feel attracted to the handsome leader. Can he melt your heart? Love, danger, lust awaits…
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4509103137619968
Thank you for doing this, I need a blunt perspective for future episodes :slight_smile:


#14

Thank you so much! It’s so nice to hear that you liked my story and I love how you pointed out the fact that you thought the dad was so funny! Thank you! And I’ll consider what you suggested I should improve! It’s my first story and I’m still learning. :blush:


#15

For being your first story it’s GREAT!! Congrats!! Keep up the good work sis


#16

Thank you!


#17

Hey! I would love if you could review my story!
Story: Unexpected Attachment
Style: INK
Genre: Drama
Description: Nessa gets tied to a marriage with Alexandre. When Chase breaks her heart, will she fall Nick, a dark Prince who doesn’t value feelings?Expect the unexpected as she falls in love!
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5193523611303936

I’d definitely check out your story! :slight_smile:


#19

From Zero to Hero
Mediocrepolis ahahhahahaha
Love the sass!!!
Ok I must say, I LOOOOOVED IT!! hahahaha it made me laugh out loud several times. I mean it’s difficult to not pity the character, life sucks sometimes. But at the same time in so little time I loved him, he made me laugh a lot. I CAN’T WITH THE SCHOOL OF BAD BOYS HAHAHAHAHAHA that was sooo funny. I really enjoyed your story so CONGRATULATIONS I’ll read the first three chapters and review them like I said I would if I absolutely loved your story. Here are the things I found:
“I was dying on the inside but the concern in her voice BROUGHT me back to life”. Past Tense
“Where DID that smoke go and what…”

That’s the only two mistakes I found ahahaha
SPONGEBOB REFERENCE!!
“Aunt Judy looks good” I CAAANT
I really loved your story and I’ll continue reading. Congratulations!!


#20

Thanks Solete! I’ll read your story soon too and will tell you about it. I really appreciate your feedback.


#21

Hey @Solete
It would be amazing if you could read my story and give it an honest review :revolving_hearts:
Title: Sly
Author name: x_ellie.marie_x
Genre:romance
Description : Kylie has been in a gang all her life and never failed to get the job done. But what happens when she is told to get to know Carl and then ordered to kill him …

Thanks
Ps I’m using mobile creator and will continue to use mobile creator so only have a limited amount of resources :revolving_hearts: