Butler Story Assistance


#1

Would you read a story like this? What makes it stand out? How could I improve it?

  • I am currently writing a ButlerxEmployer story (aka love-story/forbidden romance). NO! NOOOO LOVE AT FIRST SIGHTS! :grimacing:

  • The setting is in Japan, which mean most of the characters are japanese. They may look like different shades of white or light tan. There are many background extras with different nationalities. Sometimes, they may be interacted with and other times, not at all. The main love-interest is also Brazilian. There is also a transgender afro-japanese bestie who dresses wild, and her gay lover who is super cute.

    Well, until season two, since that will be set in Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil. Then, everybody is going ham, even great grandma in the wheelchair.

    Basically, diversity. How can I improve it and what stands out? I need real diveristy. Think of characters who may stand out most, even if they are just supporting or background characters.

  • There is a canon love-interest (Kinda like the current Miraculous situation with Adrien and Marinette). There are also temporary love-interest who are male and female characters (Four in total). The MC has never been in love or thought about relationships. So, now that somebody who you have selected has ignited that heavy beating of her heart, she may become bi-curious. OR, for season-one only, you can also choose NOT to have a love-interest at all and focus on your job (even though the canon love-interest is still present because of the initial goal).

    Sexuality structure. I am trying to fit in everybody, even people who don’t want to date. What do you think?

  • This story contains abuse and abandonment within flashbacks. I don’t want to cause anybody uneasiness. So, whenever the issue is too much to handle, I will make a choice option that can skip it or not.

    Awareness. Depressingly, these things do happen in many forms. What is your take?

Would anybody be interested in reading this? What should I improve on? What stands out the most? I would like to know because this story is important to me. I don’t normally make stories that are lighthearted most of the time, I usually make ones that leaves even your soul crying, then laughing… Then dying inside… then reviving itself to laugh again. You get my point. XD


#2

Your story sounds interesting. I would love to read it.
What is your story style?


#3

Ink, then it will switch to Limelight later. Hopefully, by then, LL will be more abundant than it is now.


#4

Sounds good to me :hugs:


#5

It sounds interesting, and all the diversity and backgrounds for these characters makes it feel like a more real story.

  • Yass, I’m writing a story with a Brazilian MC too. Brazilians can have large multiracial backgrounds. So, if you’re planning on having CC or Limited CC, include Afro-textured hair as a hair type. If not, I feel like it would nice to see you take advantage of the large hair texture range in Brazilians and use a hair type that’s not very common.

Also, keep in mind that nationalities and appearances aren’t the only ways to add diversity. Giving characters disabilities also increases the diversity in a way that isn’t often used. (Disabilities meaning physical ones like deafness or blindness aNd not physical ones like mild autism or social anxieties)

  • I think it’s nice you’re giving an option not to date anybody. Episode stories like to forget all the single ladies. As far as inclusion with sexualities go, I think you’re good. The only way to get even more inclusive is add a non-binary character as a love interest. That way, the MC’s sexuality stretches from Bi-curious to Pan-curious. Or perhaps make one of the love interests Pansexual and let them teach the MC about pansexualitiy.

Of course, that’s an extra step that I don’t think you need. You already seem to be pretty inclusive with the love-interests.

  • I like stories that take on harder topics to talk about. It sort of forces people not to ignore them. The thing is, if you’re going to use topics like that in your story, I think it’s important that you briefly discuss them. Perhaps summarize what they are, talk about why their wrong, and why you should speak up about them, etc.

I’m pretty excited for this story! I think it’s gonna be pretty great. Keep me updated. :sparkles:


#6

Moved to Share Feedback section as that’s where pitches live! :v:t2:


#7

Thank you! :grin:


#8

Alright! Thank you very much. I love your feedback.:heart:


#9

No problem! Hopefully it helps. :slight_smile:


#10

You know, I forgot to add that the MC has an eating disorder involving her glucose level! I figured since my family genetically struggles with a lot of health and mental issues, I decided to challenge myself with a different issue that is rarely talked about. The MC has mild Hypoglycemia. It’s a condition involving low-blood sugar.


#11

well for diversity, a lot of filipinos live there. so you can add some filipino characters.


#12

I have a friend that has Hypoglycemia. Yeah, you really don’t hear about it much in the news or in movies/books.


#13

Do you know any good meal plans that I could use? I have family with high-cholestrol, type2 diabetes, and high blood pressure. But, I never worked with hypoglycemia as far as meal plans. Everything else yes, but meal plans are a bit different when it comes to high blood sugar levels.

That is the only struggle I am having.


#14

hmm, I believe my friend follows a vegetarian or a pescetarian diet.
she basically eats like an Instagram fitness model. :joy::joy:


#15

I have hypoglycemia! It’s really annoying and you feel like you could pass out at any second if you don’t eat enough…! If you ever need help with that sort of topic, feel free to PM me. :slight_smile: EDIT: I just saw the meal plan thing. I don’t know if my hypoglycemia is all that bad, but typically I just have to eat a lot of snacks during the day, and to make sure that I don’t skip any meals… which I do a lot on accident… :grimacing:. I’ll text my mom and see if she has any advice, we both have hypoglycemia.

EDIT 2: She said, “Orange juice is best. And proteins like peanut butter helps. If attack occurs, a coke is best to boost sugar”


#16

Would you also be willing to tell me how you can “switch” story styles? I thought once you selected a style, you were stuck with it.


#17

Yay! Thank you Starlynn and Blueshine! I will definitely ask for help when I need it. I am so use to the type 2 diabetes that doesnt get to eat a lot of nice treats for their glucose, so it would be awesome to get to know what it’s like doing the opposite of that. So, learning this would be very beneficial. Blueshine, I will definitely ask if I need anything. :relaxed:


#18

Well, I won’t technically switch art-styles as far as Ink to LL. What I mean is, season 1 will be in the Ink style and season 2 will probably be in the LL style, only if more products come out by the time I am finished with the first one. I am also working on a book series so there may be times the story might be on pause, or I might get a role in a film so it may take time for me to complete season 1. I will have to see what happens.

However, in LL I will switch between spotlight and cinematic. It will depend on the scene.


#19

Wow! Actually, a family friend of mine eats like that. Not for any health reasons, she just likes healthy food. But, it’s actually really good. Lol

Thanks!


#20

Closing due to one month of inactivity :slight_smile: