Can anyone help me on my idea?


#1

My Script:
INT. BLACK - NIGHT
NARRATOR
Episode 1 - Trouble

@zoom reset

music chatter

@transition fade in black

INT. BLUE SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

@cut to zone 3

@CHAR stands screen right and CHAR faces left and CHAR2 stands screen center and CHAR2 faces right and CHAR2 is talk_agree_happy and CHAR is talk_gossip

@CLEO spot 0.875 41 174 in zone 2

@JOCK spot 0.866 223 200

@JOCK faces right

@pan to zone 2 in 2

@CLEO is idle_awkward_scratch_loop

    NARRATOR (CLEO)
I've always been the talk of the school.

    NARRATOR (CLEO)
You must think that's great,

    NARRATOR
(And that this is a cliche, but no. Watch until the end!)

@CHAR1 enters from right to screen right and CHAR3 enters from right to screen center

@CHAR1 is talk_gossip

@CHAR3 is laugh_chuckle

    NARRATOR (CLEO)
But it's not that good kind.
You know what I'm talking about.

    NARRATOR (CLEO)
Those were the Sienna twins.
There's a lot more of these people here, but the one that's the most popular is-

music music_808full_lp

@pan to zone 3 in 2.5

@AMBER enters from right to screen left

@CHAR2 faces left

@CHAR2 is idle_armscrossed_neutral_loop and CHAR is admire_happy

@AMBER faces right

@AMBER starts idle_armscrossed_shifteyes_loop

volume music 0 3000

sound record_scratch_stop

music music_happystringbeat

@pan to zone 2

    CLEO (sigh_disappointed)
AMBER.

    CLEO (idle_awkward_uneasy_loop)
(Oh no. I can't believe I said that out loud!)

    CLEO (talk_afraid)
Did I say that out loud too?

@CHAR1 is laugh_crackup

@CHAR3 is laugh_chuckle

@CHAR3 exits left and CHAR1 exits left

@AMBER enters from right to screen right

    AMBER (talk_argue_angry)
What did you just say?

    CLEO (breathe_deep)
(Oh, dear..)

choice
“Stand up for yourself”{
CLEO (talk_apathetic)
Say what, Amber? Your name? Why are you so mad?

&AMBER starts idle_armscrossed_angry_loop

    AMBER (talk_angry)
Ugh, whatever.

@AMBER exits right and AMBER starts walk_angry_loop
goto stupidamber
}
“Deny it”{
CLEO (talk_awkward_loop)
Say what?

@AMBER is eyeroll_subtle

@AMBER exits right
}

label stupidamber
CLEO (idle_exhausted_loop)
(Amber is so annoying…)

    NARRATOR (VOICE)
I know, right?

@CLEO is react_startled_surprised

    CLEO (idle_terrified_loop)
(What was that?)

    CLEO (talk_sad_exhausted)
My mind is going crazy...

&CHAR exits left

&follow CLEO to screen right in zone 3 THEN CLEO exits right

    CHAR2 (sigh_disappointed)
(She doesn't get it.)

@pause for 4

INT. CLASSROOM DESK - DAY

&CLEO spot 1.280 88 -75 and CLEO faces right and SHY BOY spot 1.280 261 -50

    CLEO (talk_whisper_unsure)
Hey, what are we doing?

&SHY BOY is breathe_deep

&SHY BOY faces left

    SHY BOY (talk_armscrossed_shrug_neutral)
Uh, math.

&SHY BOY faces right

INT. CLASSROOM BLACKBOARD - DAY

&MATH TEACHER stands screen center

    MATH TEACHER (talk_apathetic)
Cleo, please don't talk in the middle of class.

&MATH TEACHER starts talk_armscrossed_condescending_loop

    NARRATOR (CLEO)
After a long day of dissecting frogs and algebra,
I went home.

@transition fade out black 2

EXT. DUTCH COLONIAL HOME - DAY

&CLEO spot 1.091 37 105

&CLEO is rear and CLEO faces right

@transition fade in black

@CLEO walks to spot 0.254 282 371 in 3 and CLEO is walk_neutral_rear

INT. DAD’S HOUSE OL - DAY

&CLEO enters from right to screen right

    CLEO (think_rubchin)
(Do I have to call mom?)
(I need to do homework.)
(But she'll get mad...)

choice
“Don’t call, it’s a waste of time”{

    CLEO (talk_neutral_loop)
I need to do my homework, or else Mrs. | bold | Larson | reset | will get mad and send me to the principal.

@CLEO exits right

goto homework
}
“Do call, she’ll get mad”{

    CLEO (idle_exhausted_loop)
(She's so strict, so I guess so.)

&CLEO starts idle_phone_neutral_loop

&zoom on 320 338 to 143% in 0

    CLEO (talk_phone_surprised_loop)
Hi mom!

INT. PHILADELPHIA TIMES OFFICE - DAY

&MOM spot 0.704 193 323

&MOM is idle_sit_anklescrossed_neutral_loop

@speechbubble is 109 202 to 100% with tail_top_right

@zoom on 179 461 to 364% in 0

    MOM (talk_phone_happy_loop)
Oh hi, Cleo!
How are you?

&zoom on 320 338 to 143% in 0

INT. DAD’S HOUSE OL - DAY

&CLEO stands screen right

    CLEO (talk_phone_excited_loop)
Good! Uh, there's this thing that happened at school-

music music_moodyrock

@zoom on 179 461 to 364% in 0

INT. PHILADELPHIA TIMES OFFICE - DAY

&MOM spot 0.704 193 323

    MOM (talk_phone_angry_loop)
Wait, what!?

    MOM (talk_phone_angry_loop)
Did someone hit you? I will hit them back!

&zoom on 320 338 to 143% in 0

INT. DAD’S HOUSE OL - DAY

@CLEO stands screen right

    CLEO (talk_phone_surprised)
No, I'm not getting bullied, mom!
It's just-

@zoom on 179 461 to 364% in 0

INT. PHILADELPHIA TIMES OFFICE - DAY

@MOM spot 0.704 193 323

    MOM (talk_phone_surprised_happy_loop)
You know you can talk about anything with me, honey.

@zoom on 320 338 to 143% in 0

INT. DAD’S HOUSE OL - DAY

@CLEO stands screen right

    CLEO (talk_phone_neutral_loop)
I know mom, but it wasn't bullying or anything. It was a voice in my head.

INT. PHILADELPHIA TIMES OFFICE - DAY

@MOM spot 0.704 193 323

    MOM (idle_phone_sad_loop)
(Oh dear jove, she knows.)

@zoom on 0 364 to 143% in 0

INT. DAD’S HOUSE OL - DAY

@speechbubble is 147 267 to 100% with tail_top_left

    CLEO (talk_phone_excited_loop)
Know what?

INT. PHILADELPHIA TIMES OFFICE - DAY

@MOM spot 0.974 199 228

@speechbubble is 116 283 to 100% with tail_top_right

    MOM (talk_phone_surprised_loop)
Uh- Talk to you later!

&MOM is show_phone_concerned

@transition fade out black 1.5

@speechbubble reset

@zoom on 320 338 to 143% in 0

INT. DAD’S HOUSE OL - DAY

@CLEO stands screen right

@CLEO is read_phone_sad_loop

@transition fade in black

    CLEO (talk_neutral_unsure)
Huh.

@zoom reset

    CLEO (idle_armscrossed_neutral_loop)
(Well, that was suspicious.)
(I'm gonna do my homework.)

}

@CLEO exits right

label homework

music music_dreamyslowjam

INT. BLACK - DAY

    NARRATOR
Hi! I am your homework.
I will ask you questions that are so hard you might flip out of your seat.
Ready?

choice
“No”{
NARRATOR
Ok.

@pause for 3

    NARRATOR
Done?

choice
“Yes”{

    NARRATOR
Ok. LET'S GET STARTED!!

goto questions
}
“No”{

    NARRATOR
I don't care. Let's get started!

}

goto questions
}
“Yes”{
NARRATOR
Yay!
With that said, let’s get started!
}

label questions

    NARRATOR
Who was the first president of the Philippines?

choice
“Rodrigo Duterte”{
sound wrong_buzz

    NARRATOR
Nope! Close, though.

goto questions2
}
“Emilio Aguinaldo”{
sound correct_ding

    NARRATOR
Ding ding ding!
You just got a question right!

goto questions2
}
“Bob Ross”{

sound wrong_buzz

    NARRATOR
...
...
...
???

goto questions2
}
label questions2

    NARRATOR
What year did the Civil War start?

choice
“1861”{

sound correct_ding

    NARRATOR
Good!

goto questions3
}
“1865”{

sound wrong_buzz

    NARRATOR
Nope. That was when it ended.

goto questions3
}
“1921”{
sound wrong_buzz

    NARRATOR
Not.
Even.
Close.

goto questions3
}

label questions3

    NARRATOR
Who's the littest person ever?

choice
“The Author”{
sound correct_ding

    NARRATOR
Correct!
That is the end.

goto homework_end
}
“The Author”{
sound correct_ding

    NARRATOR
Correct!
That is the end.

goto homework_end
}
“The Author”{
sound correct_ding

    NARRATOR
Correct!
That is the end.

goto homework_end
}

label homework_end
INT. OFFICE BEDROOM - DAY

@cut to zone 2

@CLEO spot 0.767 106 221

@CLEO faces right

@CLEO starts read_book_open_neutral_loop

@add Text Book Open Navy Blue to CLEO

@transition fade in black

@pause for 2.5

@remove Text Book Open Navy Blue from CLEO

    CLEO (idle_happy_loop)
(Done!)

    CLEO (think_rubchin)
(So... what should I do?)

@CLEO is react_startled_subtle

sound phone_ring

    CLEO (idle_phone_neutral_loop)
(Unknown number.)

    CLEO (talk_phone_surprised_loop)
Who is this?

    NARRATOR (AMBER)
It's Amber! Mya wanted to invite you to my party, so you have to go.
Just saying, I hate you.

@CLEO starts listen_phone_eyeroll_disgusted

    NARRATOR (AMBER)
She said she wants to talk to you.

    CLEO (listen_phone_angry_loop)
(She could have just texted me.)

    CLEO (talk_phone_neutral_loop)
I'll go, but I'll leave as soon as she talks to me.

    NARRATOR (AMBER)
That's just what I was thinking!

    CLEO (listen_phone_sigh)
(Should I hang up, or listen more?)
(I might get more information.)
(But she's so annoying to even hear.)

    NARRATOR (AMBER)
Are you even listening to me?

readerMessage THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CHOICE. BOTH HAVE CONSEQUENCES.

    CLEO (talk_phone_neutral_loop)
Uhh...

choice
“Hang up”{
@CLEO is hangup_phone_angry
readerMessage Amber will remember that, and you may have missed out on information.
}“Don’t hang up”{
readerMessage
CLEO (talk_phone_surprised)
Repeat it?

NARRATOR (AMBER)
You have to wear |bold, color:black| black.

choice
“Sass her”{
CLEO (talk_phone_happy_loop)
And why is that?
Your stupid dress code for your meaningless party?

NARRATOR (AMBER)
No, you numbskull!
Mya asked you too.
She said it’ll protect you from something:
I forget.
}“Calmly ask”{

}
}

Can people help me on what “consequence” to say for the “Don’t hang up” choice? There’s no errors.


#2

um… I am not sure but your story sounds great so far!!


#3

Ty :relaxed::thinking:


#4

Moved to Directing Help & Tips as that’s where scripting questions live! :v:t2:


#5

Never mind, I figured it out myself, @Ryan please close this.


#6

Glad this got resolved! Closing :v:t2:


#7