Can anyone proofread my short story?

Title: Secrets are Deadly
No. of episodes: 3 episodes
Status: Complete
Below is the link for story.

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I can! Do just want me to check for mistakes, or do you also want my opinion on it overall?

Just want you to tell any directing mistakes.

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Hey I do proofreading for this shop if you wanna request . Jpassen's Magic of Wonder ART SHOP Now Open

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I’ll pm you my notes!

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