Can anyone review the first chapter of my story?

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I have finished the first chapter of my story: The Last Wolf (I’m still thinking of a better title tbh)

I would appreciate if someone read it and gave feedback before I moved on to my next chapter.

Genre: Fantasy
Description: In a world where everybody has their own fantastical creature within them, Adira learns that she has an inner creature that is supposed to be extinct.

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6305204883750912

Thank you! :slight_smile:

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Id love to!

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The link doesn’t work :((

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Hmm. Maybe it’s because I transferred it on my phone, hold on, I’ll try to add it from my computer :slight_smile:

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It should work now : )

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would you like me to be gentle or come at you with all of the facts lol

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Hit me with them, I won’t become better if I can’t take the Criticism.

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  1. the flow of the part where she lies about and reveals to people what her creature is isn’t very logical, put yourself into the situation again, and decide what feels natural
  2. How’d the doctor know so quickly that she was a were wolf?
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Hmm. Maybe I’ll have to add in a part where they take her blood or something and figure it out. And thank you for the advice, I’ll go through and fix it

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