Can I get someone to write a better description on my story? Need Mature Reader please!


#1

I need someone who doesn’t mind intense language and themes to maybe read what I have, or the first two episodes, and wrie a better desciption. I’m not very good at those.


#2

i can help


#3

really, thank you! The title is “Dark Desires” and my author name is the same as here. ashleyabrucker


#4

I know somebody already answered, but if you want more than one opinion I would like to help :slight_smile:


#5

I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have 2 opinions


#6

Only if you feel like you need extra help, I don´t want to bother


#7

Hey I know you already have two other people reading your story but I’ll be glad to help! I’m an amateur writer and creator here on Episode but I’ve written stories in the past before and have won local awards for those stories. Hopefully you can confide in me to read your story!


#8

I just need something that will catch the reader’s attention better than what I have. I’ll take all the help I can


#9

Title: Dark Desires
Author: ashleyabrucker


#10

I´ll check it out!


#11

I’m hoping that you’re still helping me. I’m a fast reader, so I’m not sure how long it’ll take other people to read…


#12

I´m sorry, I will do it when I get the chance. I didn´t have the time yet


#13

That’s fine


#14

#15

Sorry if i’m being problematic but It would be more beneficial for you if you described the story, so people can whip something up rather than you having to wait on most likely lazy people to read your story, you know? I’m good at doing descriptions, but i cant access your story atm but if you described it to me, i’d attempt to right away. < exhibit A (which is tru btw)


#16

most characters are nameable and customizable. The main character gets her life together, and into a new relationship after being left by her ex five years before. He comes back and wants her back. The new man in her life is a cop, while her ex is a gangster, but that’s not shown until later on.


#17

Descriptions are easy, sometimes when i get stuck as well, it happens, i use my fave books, or different books in different category for inspo, NEVER try copy it tho, sure copy the into but make sure its original, make it original. sometimes even movies or like structure of magazines. how something comes across describing things. drama, romance blah blah. Okay so firstly there tons of ways to write a description. It can depend on who’s perspective the story is told from, like you (the writer) or the characters herself/himself or maybe twist it up idk. Well, in your story, unless you wanna do the complex coding, i’d refer to the readers character as ‘you’. But yeah you don’t want to give too much away, def no spoilers. Just focus on like the main things you need your reader to know before reading, so they have a bit of understanding of where your going w things. Okay so i’d start with something simple: 5 years ago you were dumped by your ex, now you finally have your life back on track and have recently gotten into another relationship. But your ex has returned and wants you back. Will he accept your new boyfriend or will they both clash? Will you let him stay? or tell him to leave? IDKKKK its not very detailed, i cant say alot haha. also the limit on epi is annoying. but if u wanna use this simple example, try narrow it down a bit. Also i suggest doing something like, if you change ur mind and want to make the readers know hes in a gang do something like, bad guy vs good guy, crime or peace? who will you choose, idk ahha. lil cliche, but its up to you. Have fun!