Can someone help me come up with a better description for my story?


#1

My description so far sounds pretty cliched and it’s not a cliche story but at the same time i want to come up with a description that is eye catching…
Here is my current description: You have your walls up. And no one ever comes in. But when you join a rebel gang, you feel attracted to the handsome leader. Can he melt your heart? Love, danger, lust awaits…

What my story is ACTUALLY about: It’s about a post zombie apocalyptic, dystopian America in which a totalitarian government reigns. And in this story you play as MC sofia who joins a group that wants to overtake the government and the story is about her journey of dealing with her inner issues, finding love, and of course becoming a part of a movement bigger than herself.

I don’t know how to add that in the description with limited characters and make it eye catching at the same time. Should I leave my description the way it is or change it?


#2

What’s the name of your story? Have you published it?


#3

My story is called break down my walls (lol even the title is cringe but it’s in reference to something in my story) :sweat_smile: and i have published it


#4

Okey! I’ll totally check it out :grinning:


#5

thank you! :smile:


#6

No problem at all. Do you have instagram?


#7

yes its @moonlight123.episode and that is also my author name on the app :slight_smile:


#8

I find the description very interesting, I would love to read your story.


#9

thank you! But which description though? The current one or the one that its actually about?


#10

The current one


#11

Well if I saw a story with the current description I won’t read it for sure… But the second one, wow, I will totally check it out! :slight_smile:


#12

Agreed ^ Personally if a story description mentions a gang I don’t read. But your “real” description sounds really interesting!


#13

I’ve just read the first episode. It’s amazing! :heart_eyes: I really think you should change the description because now it looks like some cliché gang story. :woman_facepalming:t3: But it is so much more. I will definitely read next episodes.


#14

aww thank you so much for reading. :smiley: do you have any ideas how exactly i can change my description under the limited characters and make it eye catching at the same time?


#15

I love this type of stories. Honestly, the word gang in the description will bring you more readers, but I wouldn’t use it if I was you. I think you should definitely include that it’s post-apocalyptic America and totality and joining the separatist. Let me think about the description and I will send you a message later, okay? :blush:


#16

sure thanks! :slight_smile:


#17

Hey! I’d read it. Maybe you could change the desc to something like what you currently have, but rather than you feel attracted to the handsome leader, you could put:
But when you join a rebel gang, something about the handsome leader makes you yearn to have your walls broken down.
I’m not sure. What do you think? :smiley:


#18

Oh, I mean what you currently have, but perhaps replace ‘But when you join a rebel gang …’ (that single sentence) to what I suggested?


#19

i’ll keep that in mind thank you :smiley:


#20

No prob.