thank you 
some things u want to note of tho
-staying in the literary present. so instead of saying ‘the author wrote’ it would be ‘the author writes’
-not using contractions (e.g. does not instead of doesn’t)
-passive voice
-condensing! that’s a biggie lol
-forgetting the readers
-improving choice of verbs
-clear thesis and claim
Also: if you can make sure I don’t go off topic from the prompt, that would be good too! And if u can think of a good title 
Here is share link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nwt3xeOkXQ8ZyC3Ya2ANmEybEtKz8re8kNaZclRPhmI/edit?usp=sharing
Thank you once again 
it’s due in a few hours, so idk if u can get it done in time, so if u see this later hopefully u still can look it over