Can someone **honestly** review a couple episodes of my story?


#1

I have four episodes released of my story, and I was wondering if someone could review the first chapters or so and honestly let me know what they think so I can improve? Thanks! :slight_smile:

Title: Reckless

Author: MoonFlareStories

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Drama

Style: Limelight

Description: You’re off on your own in the city. But being young (and hired by a rich businessman to keep his affairs separate) it doesn’t take long for you to sweep up a giant mess cc cm

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5735134442422272

Cover:

1542772368942


Need someone to review my story!
#2

Hi guys! I’m working on a story right now, and I’ve written multiple that all fizzled out and died. I really want this one to go places! Could someone review it? I’m super busy right now so I can’t do any r4rs, but if anyone wants to review it please PM me! Here’s the info:

Story Title: Reckless
Story Author: MoonFlareStories
Genre: Drama, Romance
Episodes published: 4 (incomplete)
Description: You’re off on your own in the city. But being young (and hired by a rich businessman to keep his affairs separate) it doesn’t take long for you to sweep up a giant mess cc & choices matter
Do you want review sent here or in DM here
Style Limelight
Link http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5735134442422272
Small cover:

[1542772368942


#3

Hi sweetie, I’ll be as straightforward as I can to give you feedback. I just read the first few lines of your story. First comment is, where are those punctuations? Your directing is average, but your use of punctuations are really putting me off. Also, I feel like your story is a little too fast paced. It’s like there’s no substance and 10 seconds later…your MC is already making a deal with the stranger? Whaaaat? And to me it seems like all your characters are speaking the same way, I’d say more like internet slang. I think there should be differences. Not everyone talks the same way. This story definitely has potential but you really have to work on it. I stopped reading after the first few lines because the punctuations were really getting to me. So this is all I can say.