Can someone please beta review my story


#1

tysmm also just btw my story is not out yet
here is da link
da link


#2

Your story is great overall! There are some minor directing errors. But don’t give up! I love it! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:


#3

Only read a small part
(Kind of lost my interest) but in my opinion I would make the parents look a little bit older or the kids maybe alittle bit smaller. But I did like it. I wish you the best of luck, and keep up the good work.


#4

oh tysm if u like maybe you could pm me and tell me some of the parts that were disinteresting


#5

and tysmm i will not give up thx for ur feedback


#6

@ChayChay
I’m sure my love would love to review your story


#7

I will read it later today…


#8

Just got back from reading your story again. And this time I’m back with a tip:
In the scene where a cop/old man showed up in the kitchen out of thin air (Ep.1), try to make him enter instead!

 @CHARACTER enters from right to screen left AND CHARACTER does it while run_athletic

#9

thxx also did the part where i let you choose unknown’s name work good


#10

idk it was my first time doing something like that


#11

I’m not reading your story right now BUT I’ll come back and review it for you! I already have so much on my plate right now!


#12

oh ok thx


#13

bump bump it’s been updated againn


#14

It’s pretty interesting overall. Good job!


#15

tysmm


#16

I UPDATED AGAINNNN
!:grin::grin::grin: