Hi! In the first scene, it would look much better if you had some background characters and stuff going on, this is a much more realistic scenario. It’s nice that you used an overlay over the male character! I think you should focus on more dialogue instead of narration boxes, through dialogue the reader can get a much better sense of how the characters behave in certain situation which makes the characters more well developed. It’s nice that you use music in your story, but it becomes a bit jumpy when you change the music for every single scene, especially if it’s just short scenes.
Your plot is interesting, with him being her teacher and everything. Although, I think there wasn’t enough time to build up the chemistry between them. Tatya says that he is “her dream” and the one she wants, if this is the case it would’ve been good to show the passion between them from the night before. Lol, I loved when the teacher got mad at them and screamed “keep it down”, we all love our strict teachers One way to improve your conversation scenes is to place the speechbubbles better, so you see which one of the characters is actually talking. I liked how you put a filter on the flashback scenes!
The first episode was a bit short. Since the point of this episode was to show their relationship etc., I think you need to bring out more passion. More emotion between the characters. If Tatya is sad because the teacher she previously loved was in a relationship, we want to relate with her. Right now I just saw the teacher as a wife-slapping psycho, and I couldn’t figure out why Tatya loved him - honestly I was just happy she and him broke up. It’s important that the character can relate with Tatya at sme point, so that the readers can love her and be with her through everything she is going through. Try to show the reader why she is sad when she is being sad and why she is happy when she is being happy. Does this make sense haha?
In conclusion, I think that you should add more dialogue. I’m unfortunatley also lacking some diversity in your story, I feel like none of the important characters were POC. Also, try to work more with character development. I’ve only read on episode so maybe you’ll get to know the characters better at the following episodes but right now I don’t feel a certain connection to any of the characters tbh.
Your plot has potential, and this is definetly not a bad story (you used a moderate ammount of spot directing and zooms, which is good!) - there are just a few things to keep in mind when writing. Good luck with writing, I hope this will help you to improve your story!