Can someone proofread one chapter for me?

It’s my first story ever! I’ve been working on it since April 2018 but then I stopped due to my procrastination :woman_facepalming:t2: But now I finally edited and completed the… FIRST chapter. :pleading_face: I know it’s not much but ugh i had so much planned but i can’t do anything cuz I’m lazy and cuz I have school (just 16-year old girl things lol)

And don’t read the 2nd chapter cuz it sucks. No other reason.

Please also rate my episode by:

Cover: (out of 5)
Plot: (out of 5)
Directing: (out of 5)
Narration or way of story-telling: (out of 5)
Grammer: (out of 5)

** Also please let me know about any errors or anything that seems out of place or seems unpleasant to the eyes or wrong grammer.**

(English is not my native language so i apologise for errors :cry: :heart: )

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I can try to do it ! :blush:

I can totally help if you still need it!:grin:

Ya it would be amazing!! The link is in the post! I hope you like it :slight_smile: (no need to waste pass as i only need chap 1 proofreaded)

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it would be soo amazing!!:pleading_face::pleading_face: The link is in the post! I hope you like it (no need to waste pass as i only need chap 1 proofreaded)

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I would actually give everything a 5/5 except the narrative part that’s a 4/5. The story was great over all I’m definitely gonna keep reading. But maybe at more narration, like explain more to make the story longer and give more background info. Keep writing though and the plot is amazing too!:grin:

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I really love your story ! :smiley:
My rating is :
Cover => 5 (Nice Cover ! :upside_down_face:)

Plot => 5 (Good plot ! :clap:)

Directing => 5 (Good job ! :+1:)

Narration/Way of storytelling => 5 (I like your way of storytelling ! :upside_down_face:)

Grammer => 4.8 (I saw that you forgot to put a “said” when Erysthius announced to Susan that she were gonna receive Susan’s necklace. :wink:) Otherwise the grammer was great !

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Omg thank you so much! :pleading_face: I’ll definitely try to improve ans take notes! :hugs: Thank you for helping me :heart::heart:

:pleading_face::pleading_face: thank you so much for ur amazing feedback. I’m so honored that you like my story! I’ll try to get better at it. Thanks again for helping :heart::heart::hugs:

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