Can Someone Review My Story?

opinion
community

#1

Um, hi. I’m new to the Episode Forums. I kind of want someone to review my story so far and give construcive critisism on it.
DESCRIPTON
GENRE: Fantasy
AUTHOR: Èpïsödë Gï4(
DESCRIPTION: At an all time LOW Judith thinks that life can’t get worse. It can, but how?..
Please critisize the ideas not ME.
image
The link is:

Thanks for reading this.


#2

Please someone help me.


#3

Do you do review for reviews? Btw, your cover is really pretty, did you do it yourself?


#4

I do


#5

@Lizard I’m willing to read ur story if u want.


#6

And yes I did make it myself.


#7

Alright, here my story info:
Author: Lizard
Genre: Drama
Description: You and your best friend make a suicide pact to go to the Grand Canyon and end it all together. Will you both really do it? Or will it be over before you know it?
Number of Episodes: 8
Style: Ink
My instagram: @lizard.episode
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6584190301765632


#8

Okay I’ll grab my phone and check it soon.


#9

@Lizard
I read the first chapter and this is what I think of it:

Character Customization

You added character customisation, readers love customization which could then make them want to read more which could raise reader retention.

Buliding The Characters

What I think you could improve on is building the character.
If you don’t know your character’s personality then reader won’t know either.
What I would do is a sheet telling you all about them (religon,ethnicity,backstory,etc.)

Directing


I think you could gave tried more experimental zooms as yours were kind of basic. No characters were popping in and out of view which is a good start. You uses cuts sparingly and when you did there were no awkward zooming. Your directing was better than I could have ever done.

Plot


The plot could be better but I’ve only read one episode so I cant say too much. Your story was different from all the other stories Ixve ever read. It was very dark and twisty, and I like it.
Overall
Over all it was very sucky in-ny making you want to read more. Heck, I wanna read more after I finish this post. So I give it a 8/10.
I’ve even added it to my faves.

Your welcome for me reviewing your story, this is my first review.


#10

Thank you! I’m curious though, what parts of the story made you think it could be better? Also, stories that tell the character’s personality traits like a grocery list kinda turn me off, imo it’s better to show instead of tell.

For your story, it was nicely done. The directing was standard, nothing special. You can use zooms and closeups to spruce it up a bit if you like. There were a few grammar mistakes like using the wrong your and spelling too as to. I thought the part where you literally referred to the customization screen as plastic surgery was pretty funny. Although, I feel like it’s kinda intuitive that this is a fantastical contest entry from the title having fantastical in it, so it’s redundant to say that it’s a contest entry in the story itself.


#11

Thanks for that!


#12

But it zaid it was better to call ot Fantastical: Worlds Collife so readers would notice it.


#13

Hey, @GamrrGuy! I’d love to read your story and give it my honest feedback. I’ve written my first story, too, so would you like to do a review for review?


#14

That’d be amazing

I think I’d like to read ur story then get feedback on mine.


#15

Sounds good! Well, here are my story details:

Title: Silhouettes
Author: aprilish
Genre: Fantasy/Romance
Style: Ink
Blurb: Arion’s ready to risk it all to make her dreams come true. Leslie sees him every day, yet fails to recognize who he is. Watch them fall in love…without ever meeting each other.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6116658762874880
Cover:


My Instagram: @aprilish.episode

Thanking you in advance! :smile::two_hearts:


#16

Okay, if you haven’t seen before the link is


#17

Ah, thanks, but I’m using my PC right now so I won’t need it. I’ll search for it on the app. :slightly_smiling_face:


#18

Hey! We’ve also just made our first story! Would you like to do a review for review?


#19

Title: The Man inside the Gang Leader
Author: tammyire
Episodes: 3 (ongoing)
Genre: Romance and Action
Style: Limelight
Plot Summary: The gang life is the only life that Blaire penelope has ever known. No-one really ‘falls in love’ so when the gang leader falls for her,she doesn’t know what to do.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5525068051775488

& it’s also lgbt+ friendly meaning that you can choose your sexual preference. I’ll do read for read and review for review just reply. Thank you.


#20