I read the first chapter and this is what I think of it:
You added character customisation, readers love customization which could then make them want to read more which could raise reader retention.
Buliding The Characters
What I think you could improve on is building the character.
If you don’t know your character’s personality then reader won’t know either.
What I would do is a sheet telling you all about them (religon,ethnicity,backstory,etc.)
I think you could gave tried more experimental zooms as yours were kind of basic. No characters were popping in and out of view which is a good start. You uses cuts sparingly and when you did there were no awkward zooming. Your directing was better than I could have ever done.
The plot could be better but I’ve only read one episode so I cant say too much. Your story was different from all the other stories Ixve ever read. It was very dark and twisty, and I like it.
Over all it was very sucky in-ny making you want to read more. Heck, I wanna read more after I finish this post. So I give it a 8/10.
I’ve even added it to my faves.
Your welcome for me reviewing your story, this is my first review.